Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

Original poster

3 year old waking repeatedly in the night - any advice on what to do?

12 replies

Ghosty · 15/06/2003 03:27

Hello all!
I have been avoiding this issue for a long time (been denying it) but recently it has begun to do my head in ... mainly because I am 7 weeks pg and knackered and need my sleep!!
Thanks to GF ds was a good sleeper from the age of 4 mths to 2 yrs. From the age of two it all went pear shaped and I blamed it on all sorts of factors ... mainly several long haul flights to and fro New Zealand ... major house move from UK to NZ ... living with in laws for 2 months ... rented accommodation for 4 months ... you get the picture?
Well, we have now been very settled for 6 months and although we have had some excellent nights ... (7.30p - 6.30 am) ... things are still not right and I have had enough. He goes to bed very easily (no daytime nap for over a year now) ... and we 'lift' him just before we go to bed so that he can go to the loo. He goes back to sleep without a murmur ... and then proceeds to wake up pretty much every hour until 4am and then he will zonk off until 6.30am. He calls out for me ... I go to him ... he doesn't need the loo ... he doesn't need a drink ... he in fact doesn't even want a cuddle. He goes off again ... I stagger back to bed and go back to sleep for an hour and then he does it again!
What can I do to stop him ... he isn't scared ... he doesn't seem to want anything ... sometimes I think he just enjoys the power!!!
This morning I just cried and cried and made DH get up and deal with him at breakfast time as I was so tired ....
Any helpful hints that don't involve drugging him would be gratefully received ... thanks!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 15/06/2003 05:19

Hi Ghosty, sounds tiring! If I've read your post correctly this has been going on for a year? You must be knackered. If it's been going on that long I'd also say it sounds like he's just got into a bad habit (obvious, I know), so you've got to break it somehow. I'd try star charts first I think since he is old enough for them and it's worth a go. My ds proved to me at that age that he was perfectly capable of going back to sleep on his own, he just wasn't motivated to do so! Once there was a promise of a star (and a treat after so many stars) he seemed to be perfectly capable of waking, thinking about it a second and deciding to get himself back to sleep. It didn't happen overnight but it did work and we did crack it. I'd also suggest telling him, firmly, what is going to happen - i.e. you will not be coming into him because you need your sleep and he must get himself back to sleep. Also, every time he calls out, get dh to shout out that you're not coming in and then if ds carries on crying, get dh to go in and firmly tell him to go back to sleep. I remember ds copying me at that age and telling me 'I'm grumpy because I had a terrible nights sleep' so my moaning about it was filtering through - I think this was in the midst of tackling it. Good luck, it must be awful combined with the bone-tiredness of early pregnancy. Blimey and we've got it all to come again soon, uuuggggh! (Btw, couldn't sleep due to v early night last night and sleeping yesterday daytime in case you're wondering what I'm doing up at this unearthly hour )

cupkate · 15/06/2003 07:54

Ghosty, just wanted to let you know that I sympathise with you. I am having a horrendous time with my 16 mth old at the moment and can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to go through it night after night for such a long period of time. Try looking through the archives for mums who have been through a similar thing - I'm picking up loads of tips and advice by doing that.

codswallop · 15/06/2003 08:08

isnt it funny how used you get to them sleeping through I can symapthise My 12 weeker has just stopped waking up 3/4 times a night.

Remeber dont look at the clock - its soul destroying

SueW · 15/06/2003 08:28

Ghosty, I dont' have experience of it with an older child but sympathise with the sleeplessness - DD was 2yo before she slept through the night regularly. Before that she would wake every hour or so. Like you, I put it down to our circumstances - even if it had been around, I don't think Gina Ford would have worked for us with five different countries, 13 flights and 26 beds in DD's first year!

But, as you say, your DS is older now and I guess he should be able to understand. He may be playing games with you but he may also just be crying out because he wants to know all is ok. I second the suggestion of sending your DH in. Or what about earplugs for you? At least then you won't be woken but you can be confident that if there is a real problem your son will either get out of bed and come to you or will shout loudly enough to wake your husband.

Sleep-filled night vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~ coming your way

whymummy · 15/06/2003 08:43

oh ghosty how tiring to have to go through that everynight,i agree with the others in sending dh,i think he just wants to know that youre there,i used to put a few drops of my perfume in the babies cot to make them believe i was near but your ds is probably too old for that and still wants to hear your voice,keep telling him how tired mummy is and that youre only around the corner but not to shout in the middle of the night
lots of hugs

PamT · 15/06/2003 15:43

I've got a 4 year old who goes through similar phases. If she isn't well she usually ends up in our bed because I can't do with all the backward and forward to her room thing and I don't want her to disturb her brothers or the neighbours. If she is just having a moan and groan I tend to leave her to get on with it and she usually goes back to sleep.

In your position I think I would stop the lifting before you go to bed as this might be disturbing his sleep pattern and as he isn't really upset or wanting anything when he does wake, perhaps just tell him it is still sleep time and to go back to sleep, but do this from a distance. Perhaps leave it longer until you do go in to see him and he will gradually realise that it isn't worth it.

Star charts and rewards might work too for this age group and lots of people have had success with the rabbit clock that only wakes up at the programmed time (from GLTC I think, so you might have to look around for something similar in NZ)- tell him he's not allowed to get up until the rabbit tells him so.

josiejump · 15/06/2003 19:47

Ghosty, my dd who was a brilliant sleeper as a small baby went through a phase of repeatedly waking in the night from 10 months onwards. She didn't seem to want anything either, just for me to lie her back down again and then she'd go straight back to sleep until the next time. As you say, it's completely knackering and it seems like now is the best time to knock it on the head with a new baby on the way. Basically, the theory is that they're just after a little mummy fix, so I think sending your dh in would probably work. We bought a baby monitor and put the listening bit in her room, and then when she woke just spoke into it and told her to go back to sleep. She howled a fair bit the first two nights, but then bingo!

We tried the bunny clock with the boys but they took no notice of it ( disobedient little s*ds) and then it broke within about the first week. Theres a tread about this clock somewhere.

Best of luck with whatever you try and let us know how you get on.

runragged · 15/06/2003 20:25

Ghosty, I had same problem with my dd when she was 2.5. In the end I went to the chemist who has an interest in Homeopathy. I gave her coffea and it sorted her out. Took a while to kick in but definately worked. Once she had got used to sleeping I stopped.

batey · 15/06/2003 20:55

Ghosty, much sympathy coming your way!! I had this problem with my dd2 for about 8-10ms!! It started in the same kind of ways, dh being away for a month, lots of holidays, disruptions etc. At it's worst, she wouldn't settle at 7.30 for about an hour. Up and down out of bed etc. she'd then sleep to about midnight. Then wake every b**y hour until 5.30/6-ish. She'd either call out or get out. it was totally exhausting and I wasn't pg!!Dd2 was 2 1/2 going on 6 at this point!!

There wasn't "one" thing that cracked it but what did help was not giving her any conversation/eye contact/light etc when putting her back to bed. But you're probably doing that. I did try homeopathy,but nothing helped for long (although I do use other remedies regularly for both dds).I suppose, in the end, it was Medised that started things back on the right track. My old hv used to say it takes 3 nights to break a sleep cycle or 3 nights to make it. And giving her this for 3 nights helped her remember what a sleep pattern could be. From then it got slowly better and I continued with homeopathic things. Now at just 3 she sleeps from 7pm to 6am, stirring very rarely now. And it's been like this since last Autumn.HTH and good luck.

Original poster

Ghosty · 15/06/2003 21:23

Dear everyone .... thanks soooo much for all your advice ... it really helps just to be able to post here and get advice even before I try to do anything about it.
I had a quick check on here last night before we went to bed and I showed Mr Ghosty the response so far and he said, "Have they all got it in for husbands or what??" !!!
Anyway ... last night was better ... DS woke 3 times ... called out MUMMY! a couple of times .. and I ignored him each time ... He eventually gave up without crying and went back to sleep. Although I was awake I didn't get up so I do feel a bit better this morning.
At 6am he woke up properly and DH (bless him ... am so very lucky) dealt with him saying that I was asleep.... in fact I woke up again at 8am with DH standing over me with a cup of tea saying "Sorry, but you'll have to wake up now ... I have to go to work!!"
We do have a bunny clock (have had for over a year) and he understands it but he hates it ... and always moans about it ... sometimes he wakes it up himself!!!
We don't want to stop the 'lifting' as the few times we have not he has woken at 5am needing the loo and then definitely won't go back to sleep again ... but I will start the star chart thing ... it worked with potty training so there is no reason that it won't work with this I guess!!

So thanks again everyone .... as usual Mumsnet has come up trumps on the support front ....
Love g xxxxx

OP posts:

Original poster

Ghosty · 15/06/2003 21:23

So thanks again everyone .... as usual Mumsnet has come up trumps on the support front ....
Love g xxxxx

OP posts:

Original poster

Ghosty · 15/06/2003 21:24

Ooooops .... sorry!

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread