Help.... Nocternal baby!

[snuffle]

Hi fellow mothers, I need your help!
My daughter is 3 weeks old and sleeps mainly during the day and is awake at night. I've tried everything to try and change her routine but so far nothing is working. I have a 3 year old also so the option to sleep during the day isnt there as my toddler is up normal time and obviously needs my attention.
My baby will sleep between feeds during the day for anything up to 4-5 hours but at night she's up every 2-3 demanding a feed. I'm topping up her feeds with formula in the hope of staving off her hunger for longer but thats doesnt work, between the hours of 10pm and 2am she won't settle and appears to just want milk after milk after milk. I've tried to increase her feeds during the day but she just wont wake, changing nappies, colds hands, stripping her naked, nothing wakes her.
Please does anyone have any ideas what I can do to make her sleep longer at night and less during the day????
Its beginning to affect mt relationship with my partner, he works 12hour shifts and tensions are running high when we are both only getting 2-3 hours sleep a night, he's then expected to undertake his job on lack of sleep and I'm shattered with entertianing a toddler and a baby.... any ideas will be welcome, we are desperate!!!
MW just says she'll find her own routine but thats no help when we are at breaking point!

Kick partner out into another bed, take baby into your bed, once you have researched safe co-sleeping and sleep whilst she suckles to her hearts content. This is what I had to do with my first who was like this - I ended up so tired trying to get him to sleep in a cot that I started hallucinating.

You have to do something, or you will go mad! My second sleeps all night in her cot without waking almost from birth. Some babies just need more comfort suckles (not necessarily food (ie. bottles not working).

IMO - keeping her awake during the day so she will sleep at night is pointless - she will become over tired = babies NEED sleep to grow whenever and wherever they need it. Overtired babies will need even more comforting in the night.

Snuffle - I feel for you - my DD was was like this at first too - slept all day and awake all night and I couldn't believe she would ever change. I did something similar to what egg suggested and she did eventually learn to sleep at night

I do think some babies/children are wired this way. DD is 9 now and a total night owl - she is still wide awake at 10pm when I'm ready for bed. She is however terrible in the mornings! I think she will always be this way. Maybe you D will be the same!

Good luck

Thanks everyone... my first was a sleep baby & i used to have to wake her to feed, this one is the total opposite! She does appear to settle better when we cuddle her but at night its not always possible. She just seems to know when we get into bed and thats when she starts kicking off!
Waking her during the day is impossible anyway, nothing works, she's just seems to be a hungrier baby at night and more needy.
Eggontoast... you are right though, need to find a solution to this as the whole family is suffering including our 3year old who is now being disturbed by newborns nightime screaming and mummy is currently running on low short tempered inpatient battery!

You're fighting a losing battle trying to 'force' her into a new routine, IMO. Babies don't develop a day/night awareness until they are much older, their brains physically can't.

You have to go with the flow for a bit longer, and try not to cut her daytime sleeps short as then she'll be overtired and wake more at night.

Also giving her formula at night may give her tummy ache and waken her; can you just let her feed as much as she wants? Some of her night feeding demands may be just for comfort, so I agree with eggontoast = let her cosleep and feed her whenever she wants it. If you aren't comfortable with her in your bed put the cot up next to your bed and then you just have to reach over.

Also try and get your toddler to have a bit of telly time in the afternoon, then you can doze on the sofa for an hour whilst she watches Cbeebie or a DVD.

Time will work this out..in the meantime co sleep! Don't mess with a baby's routine, it's their because it's instinctive and it's as it should be.