Please help...am truly at the end of my tether...DD (20weeks) appears to have had a personality transplant:(

[IBlameThePenguins]

Hi, I've posted this in the parenting thread, but on reflection, it may be more appropriate to put it here...

Hi, I've been on MN fr a while, but very rarely post. Things have gotten so desperate, that I thought i'd give it a go. Basically my 2o week old DD has become very cry-ey. For about 5 weeks now, she hasn't slept for more than 2 hours in a row. We have a bedtime routine, bath, story, feed & cuddle etc, but she just seems so unsettled. She has been waking about 5 times every night, she suckles,but is not always hungry. My DP works away long hours, we have no close friends or family that could take her for an hour or two. I havent slept formore than an hour and a half in a row for a long time, & I am truly loosing the plot.

Does anyone have any advice/ words of support? TIA

I should add, that she's never really been much of a "napper" during the day. Ever since she was born she has been very active and alert, andpeople are always commenting on this. Providing she is entertaine during the day, she is a very happy baby, it's just that at night time, it all changes.

Could it be colic - this usually happens at the end of the day as the feeds accumulate in her tummy?

What about trying a baby massage class near you? That would help you find some local support, as well as giving you some ideas to help soothe her?

Make sure she is getting plenty of fresh air during the day - getting out whatever the weather if you are both wrapped up does you both a great deal of good.

I'm sure someone else more helpful than me will be along in a minute chin up..

Sorry to hear you're going through this. It's very common for babies to have a period of 'sleep regression' between 4-6 months (apparently - I only learned this via MN when I posted almost exactly the same thing as you). My DS was exactly the same, perfectly cheerful despite hardly napping in the day, and between 4-6 months waking every two hours without fail. I was a complete zombie so I really feel for you.

Just keep repeating to yourself IT WILL PASS because it will. As I understand it, now is a prime time for their mental development - your DD's consciousness is probably going through the roof so she is having a lot to process, leading to disrupted sleep.

Check out the 'misguided illusion' thread on here somewhere, plenty of mums in the same boat. I was a regular poster on the original MI thread until my DS started napping and sleeping through...it does happen

Thanks Moodlum!... We have been going to baby massage for a few weeks now...we really enjoy it. We do try and get a daily walk in. She isnt displaying any classic colic-ish signs...not drawing theknees up or anything...do you think that maybe i should try some gripe water before bed, just in case?

xx

Oh god how wierd - I was about to post exactly the same problem - except my dd is 14 weeks. But other than that, the same: alert baby, trouble napping in the day (unless on me), awake six times last night, suckles, no friends or family nearby... She used to sleep ok at night: awake twice for feeds usually. Now I seem to sleep in 45 minute bursts, as does she.

It just can't be good for either of us, but not sure why she has become like this.

I don't think it is colic, but wonder if
a - your dd is having her 4 month growth spurt late, and mine early (does regular wakings = growth spurt?)
or
b - the lack of daytime naps is the problem - that an 'active' baby is an overtired, wired baby, and if we can get them to nap during the day better, the nights will be better too? I wonder if regular nighttime wakings are a sign of overtiredness?

DD was a baby who refused daytime naps - she was very busy. But I battled with her - not on cc, just pu/pd and eventually she had a daytime nap and that helped her get to sleep in the evenings.

Also, what cyteen said.

And deffo try gripe water - it can't hurt, and I remember once with dd she let out the most enormous burp after having this and it was AMAZING!

ahhh...thanks Cyteen, nice to hear reassuring wordsfrom someone who has been there, done that, & gotten the eye bags!!

heylottie I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same...tough eh?! It may well be a growth spurt, as she is pretty small for her age (9th centile) and does seem to be growing pretty rapidly at the mo...Although I'm not glad you're going through the same, it's so reassuring to knowI'm notalone in this.

Will persevere with daytime naps...and gripwater too... We are off for a nice long walk now, but will check back when we get home.Thanks so much for the replies.I can't tell you how much they have lifted my sleepy spirits!!

My dd is also small, well 'light' really, so maybe... the worst thing is that I thought this was the time they were supposed to ruddy well sleep longer! This is deffo the worst it has been since she was a couple of weeks old. I know it will pass but my goodness...
And then I think -maybe this ISNT the 4-6 month sleep regression come early, maybe that is still to come!!!! After all she is only 3 and a half months... oh lord...

oh, heylottie...are you sure you're not me!!??

Lovely to hear I have company, it always helps! My DD is now 6 months old and for the past month has been wakening repeatedly at night. The last time she slept all night was 29th Dec!

Anyway,initially we thought it was reflux because I had just started weaning her the week before this kicked off. However apart from sleep, the weaning has helped her. So we dont think its that anymore.

I then thought it must be teeth but it doesnt matter whether I give calpol or not!

DS did go through something similar from 4-7 months but settled every time we gave the dummy. DD2 doesnt take the dummy but is soothed by hairdryer so we are putting that on! Praying it stops soon and sleep will come!

I wouldn't mind if dd was easy to settle... but that's another story...!

I'm convinced its a brain development thing rather than stomach/colic causing it. DD1 was like this - she would cry every night from 4-6 ish months really scream and just not settle unless I was bfing her or DH or I were pacing the flat holding her. Some nights I was up all night with her . We took her to various GPs as we were convinced something must be wrong they just shrugged and said some babies do this (one GP had 4 children herself and gave the same advice). It all stabilised at about 9 months. It was really tough you need to be strong and remember that it is a stage that will pass. What is hard is that it got really bad around 5/6 months just as it seemed everyone elses babies were getting into routines and sleeping through.

I am in exactly the same situation, DD2 is 20 wk and keeps waking up at night, she is on the breast most of the time more for comfort that anything else. She also used to sleep a bit better at night, even if day time naps are and always have been virtually nonexistent! I don't have family or close friends nearby as well, so I don't get any help during the day. I feel so tired all the time, I really hope this is going to pass soon for all of us!

Gosh... I din't realise there were so many of us out there!! What would you think about making some kind of support thread? It might helpto know the others are going through it, especially with the lack of family close by?

I think it's a good idea, it makes me feel so much better knowing I am not alone!

Same here. Nice to have a couple ofpeople about who understand aswell! x

Count me in!

My DS is 5 months old and is now waking every 2 hours in the night and is getting very upset and difficult to console but coupled with that, rosy cheeks, loads of dribbling and the fact that he's putting every thing into his mouth(including almost his entire fist!) i think he's teething. Could your LO be teething too? Baring in mind it can take several months for teeth to actually appear i think i might be in this for the long haul...particularly as DS1 didnt get any teeth until he was 9months old but appeared to be cutting them from 3 months!

Hope your situation improves soon,it definately wont last for ever but that's little comfort when you're so tired and feel so helpless now.