Nights still knackering! Is naps the key to it?

[fevrier]

I wonder if any experienced wise MNetters can help me? Really need some guidance!

DS is 12 months and still waking at night - I bfeed him back to sleep but don't think I have much milk as I day weaned about 3 months ago. Really want him to sleep through now! How do I do it without leaving him in his cot crying?

He goes to sleep in his cot alone at night when I put him down awake. He knows how to do it at bedtime.

But I always cuddle him to sleep (or he falls asleep on bottle or in pushchair) for his naps. Now he is pretty much down to one nap after lunch - getting sleepy over lunch and then a cuddle and rock and i put him down asleep.

Question is: should I put him in his cot awake after lunch and let him cry? Or is cuddling to sleep okay? Or is it part of the reason why he needs me at night so much?

Tricky thing is he can now keep himself awake for long periods so leaving him in the cot in the day to cry could mean crying for ages - unlike when he was younger.

PLEASE ADVISE! Am so tired now and need to do something to help the nights.....

I would sadly advise that the reason he needs you so much at night is because you cuddle him to sleep. So he wakes up wondering where you are etc.

There are other options for sleep training than cold turkey. The Baby Whisperer book sleep training is slightly easier. He certainly old enough IMO to start to moderate things. My second child is 12 months and now wakes at 7am, has a nap at 10.30am and 2 or 3pm and then bed at 7pm. He has dropped his feeds at night recently but he is a thumb sucker and if he wakes now I give him teething gel and he goes back to sleep but I tried to teach him to settle on his own to sleep when younger. Mean mummy

Thanks teaandcakes - the thing is he does settle himself at night happily so do you think how I get him off to sleep in the day is relevant?

I wish I had taught him this earlier but at the age I taught him to self settle for night he was messing around with his nap timings and I was never sure he was tired enough to do the crying thing.

Anyway - does the day napping affect the night?

My son is 12 months and wakes at 7am, naps at 10.30am and then again at 2 or 3pm and then goes to bed at 7pm. He's my second baby. Both did this routine at this age which I got from "the baby book".

Both of mine I have taught to self settle once I felt they were old enough. Using the "Baby Whisperer" book method of sleep training. So I now literally lay them both down for naps when due and they just go to sleep and at bedtime, bath, story and bed and all sorted as well.

It could be a combination of things, with the cold waking them, teething pains, or sometimes I find if mine sleep badly in the day, they also sleep badly at night. It's almost like they are so tired they get themselves worked up and overtired and cannot rest regardless.

Do you share a room or co-sleep at night? As there can be a variety of factors based on circumstances, on why he wakes so often. Also if you always feed him to go back to sleep, then he may quite like waking for a snack at night now for comfort etc rather than need. Just a habit.

I started to only give my son teething gel if he woke in the middle of the night, once he was fully weaned and eating and drinking plenty in the day etc. He shouted for a moment and then found his thumb and went back to sleep. My daughter was the same, it worked on her too but they both were teething like mad from 3-4 months onwards.

Some people offer cool boiled water only to persuade their little ones to not wake for a middle of the night feed once older.

The options are limitless really. Maybe read up a bit more on ideas and routines etc and then decide what feels best for you and your baby here?

Maybe some other mumsnetter will come along with some ideas too. I definitely think there are a combination of factors here though on how to resolve your problem and not one answer. If you see what I mean.

Yes, I think you are def right about a combination of factors. If I have another DC I will be teaching self settling younger! When did you feel yours were ready? THis sleep thing is driving me mad.

THank you for your help. THink I need to stop feeding at night and maybe also put down awake in day..... Thanks a lot

I sleep trained mine when I knew they were having me on, so to speak

When I put them down and knew that they were genuinely tired but kept having to go back in all the time as they were crying, but as soon as I came in the room and picked them up, they'd stop, almost like they thought "hmmm this is nice" and then start looking around like everything was dandy. I knew at that point that this couldn't go on and that they were tired, had a clean nappy, had eaten recently, weren't unwell etc. When all boxes had been ticked, I would at that point start to sleep train them.

I think you have to do it by your child, it's not necessarily an age thing really.

Does that make sense?