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Sleep

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Original poster

When did you move your baby out of your bedroom?

78 replies

MrsPurr · 28/01/2010 09:41

My 11-wk-old DS is very looooong (99.6th centile for height). He's the length of the average 4-month-old. He's about to grow out of his Moses basket. I am not sure his cot is going to fit in our bedroom. I am wondering whether I can transfer him to his room (next door to ours) with a baby monitor. Unsurprisingly, given that's the current NHS advice, the HV has advised me not to move him out of our room before 6 months.

Can anyone point me to any research about why babies have to stay in the parents' bedroom for 6 months? Surely it's not just so we can hear him -- we could do that just as well with a baby monitor.

Has anyone moved their baby out before 6 months?

OP posts:

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missismac · 29/01/2010 14:44

Meant to add - I could never do it with baby in the room either - it was the sofa for me!

Original poster

MrsPurr · 30/01/2010 19:55

Thanks all. So I think I've got it... baby sleeps on the sofa, we do it in the travel cot, right? No hang on a minute...

OP posts:

DrDoobs · 30/01/2010 20:29

Both our DD were in their own room by one month - DD1 at 1 month and DD2 at 3 weeks. TBH I don't know how people manage to share their room for longer - I end up trying to read by light coming through a crack in the bathroom door as I don't want to turn the light on and disturb the baby. DS is probably moving across the hall next week...

DrDoobs · 30/01/2010 20:31

Forgot to say - it didn't help them sleep better! DD2 still fed twice a night until 6 months.

schroeder · 30/01/2010 21:07

So if you're at it on the sofa and baby is in your room, how is the baby synchronising it's breathing or whatever?

FWIW ds was in his basket in the hall within a couple of weeks-he disturbed us and we disturbed him. dd stayed in our room a bit longer as we had a nice big room and her cot was at the other side.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 30/01/2010 21:12

Babies are designed to sleep next to their mums, they need help with regulating their breathing and the stimulation from sleeping next to somebody helps to reduce SIDS. Guidelines suggest co-sleeping until 6mths.

DS is 16mths and sleeps in our bed with us. I just couldn't imagine putting him in a room on his own. When he is old enough to decide for himself then I will leave the decision up to him.

Undercovamutha · 30/01/2010 21:18

Both DCs went into their own rooms a short while after they started sleeping through, mainly as it coincided with them being a bit too big for moses basket (was worried DS was going to roll it over!!). DS was 4mo (and VERY long), DD was 5mo. I kept the monitor on full volume for a few months, and then at a lower volume until DD was 18m (DS 10mo still has monitor on too) even though we are in next room!!!

(Our bedroom is so tiny (only has a small chest of drawers plus 2 built in wardrobes). I really don't think we would have got the cot in, even if we moved the drawers!)

bamboobutton · 30/01/2010 21:26

i agree with thebreastmilk.

did cavemen hew a seperate cave for their babies

ds still sleeps in our bed, he's 23mo. i can't imagine not having him in bed, especially when he talks about cars in his sleep!

londonmackem · 30/01/2010 21:29

Thebreastmilksonme - can you tell me which guidelines advocate co-sleeping? I was led to believe that co-sleeping is a big no-no when it comes to SIDS.

I kept dd in our room until 6 months because of guidelines but do think we all sleep better now she is in her own room.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/01/2010 21:30

Both of mine were about a year. DD slept really well, we just thought it was time, DS slept so much better once he was out, he was a much lighter sleeper.

Trickle · 30/01/2010 21:33

I remember reading a book (one of the developmental attatchment types) that said it was mad we had a monitor for babies breathing that fed sound only one way. They suggested switching the monitor so the baby could hear you - not sure it's the best advice but I'm suprised you can't buy cd's or something with breathing sounds, for people that can't/don't want to co-sleep it seems like such a low tech solution.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 30/01/2010 21:34

londonmakem- I will clarify what I mean- co-sleeping to me, and many other co-sleepers, means baby in bed with mum.

Co-sleeping following the government guidelines means having baby in the same room. I apologise for the loose use of the term.

However I don't know why you think co-sleeping (as in parents bed) is a big no-no when it comes to SIDS?

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/01/2010 21:34

DS sleeps with Radio 4 on, DD with Winnie the Pooh

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 30/01/2010 21:38

Trickle- I think it's very sad that people want to seperate themselves from their babies and replace themselves with 'technology' designed to emmulate a mother's breathing/motion etc. Doesn't it just go to show that a baby needs to be close to its mother? It makes me uncomfortable to be honest.

thesecondcoming · 30/01/2010 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetkitty · 30/01/2010 22:28

DD1 15 months
DD2 13 months
DD3 13 months

I coslept with them and didn't want them in a separate room before then.

2old4thislark · 30/01/2010 22:47

Both in their full size cot in their own rooms from day one! This was 19 and 17 years ago tho! I've never heard of all this regulating breathing etc.

I found we all slept better this way - I could feed the baby without disturbing ex dh who was working so needed his sleep. Also means that baby sometimes settles itself back to sleep rather than attending to avery whimper! I probably sound like a Victorian to new mums!

JenAT · 30/01/2010 23:06

We moved our dd into her own room at about 12 weeks old. I couldn't sleep with her in room with me, every little whimper from her and I would be wide awake. I have supersensitive mummy radar! It saved my sanity. Didn't use a baby monitor either. I would breast feed her in a chair in her room then go back to bed. I remember waking in the night when she was a few weeks old and frantically searching the bed for her convinced I had rolled on her in my sleep only to find her peacefully snoring next to me in the moses basket. I was so tired from lack of sleep I started to hallucinate! I've nothing against co-sleeping, it sounds like a lovely thing to do and I am fully aware of the guidelines of keeping baby in your room for 6 months but I literally would have lost the plot if she stayed in our room for any longer. We did what was best for us at the time and I have no regrets. DD is now 2.4 and still in a cot and when she goes into a bed she will not be coming to sleep in our bed, no way. sleep is v important to me. Sounds incredibly selfish I know (these will probably be famous last words, so don't quote me!!!)

Trickle · 31/01/2010 12:45

TheBreastMilksOnMe - it's not something I think i'd be happy doing, I have bought a co-sleeper cot, and I've only done that as I expect to go back onto meds once the baby is born and that makes baby in bed dangerous.

But everyone is different and I really believe in the no one size fits all approach. If it saves lives and helps people keep their sanity I think often a lesser of two evils approach is better than trying for an ideal version.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 31/01/2010 13:26

I agree it's not one size fits all and I certainly wouldn't recommend sharing a bed if you are going to be taking meds that can make you sleepy. A co-sleeping cot sounds like a great idea. I was referring more to the way a lot of parenting/marketing happens. People are sold products that make it the norm to be seperated from your baby such as baby monitors/baby gyms/swings/cots in sepereate bedrooms/pushchairs facing outwards, angel monitors FGS! It seems really back-to-front and unatural to me to try and make a young baby independant from and early age and need to be seperated from its mother. I draw much of my experience on reading books about co-sleeping such as 'Three in a bed' and my own personal experience of co-sleeping, sling wearing and breastfeeding.

sweetkitty · 31/01/2010 14:50

I agree BOM, I could never imagine putting one of the DDs in a completely separate room to me as tiny babies, I wouldn't have been able to sleep just the same as someone else who has said they cannot sleep with a baby in the same room. It's really what fits for you and your baby IMHO.

TulipsInTheRain · 31/01/2010 14:57

dd was 8 months, ds1 was 8/9 months and ds2 was 11 months (only been in the boys room a week)

all three tend/ed to shift into our bed during the night until much older though so wasn't much of a move, and both boys moved in with an older sibling so still had someones breathing in the room with them which reassured me somewhat

Original poster

MrsPurr · 31/01/2010 18:11

TheBreastmilk I'm not one for co-sleeping terrified I'd squish the baby but would defend to the death your right to do it of course! Always wondered though, when your baby goes to bed before you, how do you ensure it doesn't fall out?

OP posts:

thesteelfairy · 31/01/2010 18:18

I am still sometimes co-sleeping with dd (she is 3). She is happy, I am happy and she comes and goes as she pleases.

"I've just had this conversation with my brother. He & his wife have got their little 2 wk old baby in it's own room. Am biting tongue really hard."

That makes me want to cry .

Have skimmed the thread so this may have already been said but doesn't research show that being close to their mother helps to regulate small babies breathing?

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 01/02/2010 21:45

MrsPurr cute name BTW! My baby is 16mths old now so he doesn't really 'do' falling off the bed as we have taught him the safe way to get off but since he was able to roll we just had the mattress on the floor and some pillows around the edges. Since he was about 12mths old we put the divan back under the mattress and it was bliss having a big bed again I can tell you! We just chuck a few pillows near 1 side and push the bed up against the wall and lay him near the wall side.

As he gets older we give him more freedom to come and go and just put the stairgate on at the top of the stairs. When baby number 2 comes along I think we might try and get him to sleep in his own bed a bit more or at least move DP out so that I can have more space! He He!

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