6-week-old baby won't sleep in the day

[UserNameAngst]

Apologies if this has been covered before.

My DS is 5 and a half week's old, and for the last 2 and a half weeks he's had many days where he won't sleep much or at all in the day. I'm aware that a tiny baby needs 14-16 hours in every 24 hour period; on at least 5 days in the last 20 he's had between 7 and 10. His night sleeping is pretty good - he feeds at 11, back down til 3, then again at 6 or 7, so that's good. I wouldn't mind if this amount of sleep was all he needed, but it clearly doesn't as he gets massively overtired and then screams for hours on end.

I've tried going out in the buggy - he'll doze but ping awake as soon as we stop; a battery-operated rocker - he doesn't mind being in it but won't sleep; rocking him in my arms - doesn't work; just putting him down - oddly he is often quite happy to lie in his cot for up to an hour very quietly, but wide awake. I always swaddle him to sleep so can't try that. He literally spits out the dummy so that's a non-starter too.

Yesterday was one of these days - he woke at 8.20 am and finally went to sleep at 10 pm with only 1 hour down (6.30pm) and possibly 45 minutes dozing on and off in the buggy. He had 9 hours in total and DH and me took turn with him mainly screaming and flailing from about 4.30 pm til 10pm. On the day after a day like this he is invariably knackered and in fact is asleep again now.

In all other respects he seems very happy and healthy - not surprisingly he is very alert, his weight gain is very good, and the bf is going really well. I am happy to fit in with his needs, but I just do not think this can be right! Any advice gratefully received.

It's hard to get a new baby to want to be in a room all alone to sleep. After all they're used to being in your tummy and hearing your heart beat and voice. So putting them in a room alone is going to be tricky. Some people keep them in a Moses basket in the room with them in the day but if your little guy won't sleep at all, you'll have to think of a plan b.

A book that has helped me is called "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Marc Weissbluth. Read the reviews on Amazon and buy it if you like the sound of it. The sleep training in the "Baby Whisperer" worked a treat for my two when they were slightly older as well.

I always like to say "whatever it takes to survive in the early days" as you can't sleep train them when this little. However they do need to learn to have naps in the day, it's more a case of how to do this. There are a lot of soothe to sleep ideas in Marc Weissbluth's book and tricks to try. He's a sleep expert in children for 30 years.

Unfortunately LO's when very overtired can actually appear extremely active and fool you into thinking they're not tired, as a stress hormone is released, so they appear wired instead. But over time I've always found that the worse mine sleep in the day, the worse they get at sleeping at night, it's almost like the sleep deprivation is cumulative and if it continues, I've found things have got worse and worse with sleep in general. Sorry not the most cheery of things. Maybe it's just my kids though

There is a lady on another thread where ideas have been bouncing back and forth on this here you may find reading that from top to bottom will also help you.

As a general rule of thumb at this age I'd watch my LO closely for signs of tiredness, such as rubbing eyes or nose, yawns, getting quieter etc. And then start the routine on going down for a nap. My babies could never stay awake more than 90 minutes or maybe 2 hours at this age, I'd then take them in a darkened room and nurse them to almost asleep on me and then put in cot. Some people put an item of clothing in the cot so they can still smell you. Both mine tried to resist naps but I was consistent and kept persisting and over time they both got used to it.

Some people I know only get their kids to sleep by taking for a drive and then parking up somewhere, I didn't want to go down that road, as I was worried about them never being able to sleep in their cot in the day and always in the car. But I guess at such a young age you can't really get them into bad habits yet and surely you can retrain them when older. So if you get desperate you could do that?

Anyway sorry for the long long post! Hope some other Mn's help you too. Sending you a big hug x

My DS (18 weeks now) was exactly the same at this age. He would have days where he wouldn't sleep at all and so bedtime was quite frantic. The things that seemed to help in the end were time - once he got to about 8-10 weeks or so he got better. He HATED being put to sleep on his back, so I used a sleep positioner and put him on his side. I also made sure he wasn't over tired (90 mins awake was his absolute max) and took him up to his cot before this point changed his nappy, pulled the blinds, sang the same nursery rhyme etc etc. He would often have a little moan for 5 mins then drop off. Suddenly it started to work and he goes down like a dream now.

To start with naps were only 20 or 45 mins long but now he has one long one somewhere in the day. He also sleeps a lot better now when we're out and about too - think he just needed to learn how to wind down.

Thank you very much both of you for your helpful replies. Teaandcake, thanks for all the thoughtful comments - I've ordered that book (and also the No-Cry Nap Solution) so hopefully that will help. I'll also post on the other thread - sounds like a similar situation.

I'm just finding it all very stressful! Last night he wouldn't go back down after a feed at 1am; in the end I took him to bed with me. He is hugely tired but I spent from 9am until 10.30am trying to coax him to sleep; by the time he eventually went he only had 45 minutes before he was awake again to feed. On the occasions when he does go off in my arms he invariably wakes if I make any movement (to the moses basket, for instance!). Luckily my DH has come home for lunch to give me a break so I can get dressed

Twoshakes, thanks for the encouragement that it will get better with time - that's good to hear. One day at a time!

I dont have any good advice, but just sending sympathy since my 6 week old is similar, and gets frantic with exhaustion but fights sleep both day and night...still this period when they are tiny is brief, and hopefully they will learn to relax and enjoy going to sleep soon!

Hi USN sending you my sympathy also. My DS is 6 weeks, and getting him to go for naps has always been a problem - I thought babies would just fall asleep when tired but mine also fights it.

I read Baby Whisperer, but found that I got stressed trying to follow her advice completely eg put him to nap in his basket every time, however I do try at least once a day, and stick to the same routine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I have a 'nature sounds cd' which I put on, I then swaddle him, hold him to my chest to block his vision, and say Shh, shh for 5-10 mins while rocking back & forward. I then put him into his basket - sometimes he falls asleep in my arms and stays asleep, sometimes his eyes open when I put him in his basket, but if I leave my hand on his chest and carry on saying Shh shh he gets back to sleep.

Oh - I do all this at the first yawn. But recently he hasn't been yawning, but grizzling after he's been awake about 1hr 15, so I take this as a sign of tiredness.

Other times he carries on fighting against it and crying. My HV says not to worry if he doesn't nap in the day, and that some babies don't, but when I see him sooo tired, and then he gets overtired and screams I do worry!

Good luck, you are not alone!

Oh - can you let me know what you think of the no cry nap book as I was thinking of buying it myself. Thanks