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Help I need sleep!

13 replies

MrsMcJnr · 26/01/2010 10:56

Help! I need some sleep! My DD is 7 ½ months old and keeps me up most of the night. She has a bedtime routine. Quiet play time and a story followed by a bath with DS and Daddy then a massage, some supper of cereal, a full breast feed and then to be bed sleepy after being burped. She sleeps in a cot in our room. She does have a room of her own to go into but it is next to DS?s and I don?t want her waking him up in the night plus it is a hassle for me to keep going there when she wakes rather than having her beside me. It is very dark in our room and around 18c. She sleeps in a sleeping bag with a blanket tucking her in tight over that. She goes down at about 8pm. She always wakes up crying again before midnight wanting more milk. She will not be pacified by DH or by anything other than more milk. I have tried patting, water but none of these things work. I don?t want to do controlled crying. She gets so upset so quickly and her cry is very loud and we live in an apartment and DS is a very light sleeper. I feed her from one side generally and then she goes to sleep again. She will then wake up again at least twice more in the night and it is the same routine. On the second wakening I always change her nappy as she is generally very wet by then. I have to admit I often fall asleep with her as I am so tired so sometimes it is over an hour before she goes back into her cot again.

She is a tall baby and weighs 9.2kgs. She is on the 91st percentile and has been since birth. I am exclusively breastfeeding her and she won?t take a bottle but will take water and some quantities of expressed milk from a cup. She is often distracted from drinking her milk during the daytime feeds and I?m sure that?s why she stocks up at night but I can?t stop the disruption as it is down to my DS who is just 2 and at home with us all the time too. She eats 3 or 4 small solid meals a day including protein and finger food now. She doesn?t really like savoury food but loves cold fruit purees and yoghurts. She has 7 teeth and another coming through and she does suffer with teething.

She doesn?t seem to need much sleep as isn?t grouchy after our broken nights. She tends to have a brief nap for 30-45 mins around 10.30/11 am and then a nap mid afternoon for anytime between 45mins-2 hours. If her mid afternoon nap is short she tends to need another one around 6pm before her dinner at 6.30pm.

I should add that we live in Southern Spain hence the reason why our timings are later than in the UK to fit in around life here.

She doesn't have a dummy or anything that she is attached to other than me.

Any tips on how to get her sleeping through at night would be greatly appreciated. I need my wits about me during the day to look after these two!

OP posts:
musicalmum43 · 26/01/2010 14:08

You know you are going to be told to leave her to cry, and for everyone to put up with it for a couple of nights and then it will all be better. That would probably work, or alternatively if you (like me) believe that to be cruel, I would put her in bed with you. Try that and see if she sleeps through because that worked for us.

MrsMcJnr · 26/01/2010 15:31

sigh - I know but just can't do it I tend to bring her in with me after 5am to see if we can get a bit more sleep but I do worry about the big duvet (though I put her on top of it) and of DH rolling over. Thanks for posting for me

OP posts:
farawayteatime · 26/01/2010 23:04

I read your post, and read my baby. exactly. although only 6 months old. i am the same, and am not keen to try controlled crying, and even if I did, just know I wouldn't last. I also live in southern spain. thought that maybe when he started on solids... but no. I sleep, and dream of sleep. trying not to feed during the night sometimes, and just to rock, cuddle etc., but feeding so quick and easy,and he wants it. I usually just fold so we can both go back to sleep sooner. sorry can't help, but you're not alone. good luck

Neatnick · 26/01/2010 23:13

Do you think she is waking because she's hungry or because she's using you as a dummy to get back to sleep?

Also what does she eat that's fattening/full of calories in the day? You mention fruit and yoghurts but will she eat cheese and so on?

If it's hunger, then all you can do is work on filling her up more in the day.

Also wondering if that late nap is interfering with night sleep too?

MrsMcJnr · 27/01/2010 14:31

Farawyteatime ? I know what you mean, it?s easier to feed them and doze than it is to pace around last night was hell ? I got 1 ½ hours sleep all night and she?s been a clingy winge all day today the general consensus at my mother and baby group is that it is because of her teeth, I guess 8 is a lot for a baby of under 8 months but I can?t help thinking it?s just an excuse for bad sleeping.

Neatnick ? I think she is hungry the first time she wakes as she generally drinks in earnest. I guess her bedtime feed might not be as full as the ones later on because that is when I am my most tired after rushing about all day. I think there is certainly a bit of using me as a dummy too and I try to stop that when it happens (unless I have dropped off to sleep!) She eats cereal with milk and some variety of fruit puree for breakfast and tends to nibble at a bit of toast. For lunch she has a savoury meal, today?s was courgette and tomato pasta in a cheese sauce (which she barely touched) and apple puree. Tonight she is having plaice with spinach and cheese followed by yoghurt and then she?ll have porridge before bed. It sounds great in theory but she really resists eating the savoury things. Can you suggest some foods that might help me fill her up? I try to make sure there are at least 3 hours between the end of her afternoon sleep and bedtime in case that is the problem but generally she doesn?t sleep for very long at that sleep, average is probably an hour. Thanks for your help

OP posts:
farawayteatime · 27/01/2010 15:32

mother and baby group, and you live in s spain? lucky you. nothing at all where I live (almería).

someone recommended a book in spanish called 'duermete niño'. i'm going to have a read see what it's about, but i fear more controlled crying advice. will let you know if anything interesting. someone I know had a baby the same as mine, waking up evey 2 to 3 hrs until 7 months +. followed the book and in 3 days baby slept through the night. maybe one has to bite the bullet??

MrsMcJnr · 27/01/2010 16:13

Sounds like a good book let me know if it says anything different

I am on the Costa del Sol so yes, there are more British things like groups here I imagine

OP posts:
Neatnick · 27/01/2010 17:43

Your foods sound great to be honest. It's just a question of finding what she personally likes and will eat.

Perhaps you're in a catch 22 where she's bfing at night and therefore not so hungry in the day. If she's using you for comfort, then this might not be helping.

Have a read of the No Cry Sleep Solution book if you want to find ways of breaking the night-time bfing. The author doesn't believe in crying it out so found other ways round it.

MrsMcJnr · 27/01/2010 20:55

Thanks, I'll track down a copy of that book

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 27/01/2010 21:05

MrsM sorry no real advice i just peresevered with the night feeds as a zombie with mine.
Just wanted to hijack to say Happy Birthday to ds

farawayteatime · 29/01/2010 14:19

I have found a downloaded copy, of this book, and at first glance it looks great. Certainly I'm 100% in agreement with its philosophy.Makes complete sense and none of the letting baby cry at all, in fact the author is completely against it. This week I'm going to start putting it in to practice.You start by filling out sleep logs. If you like, send me your email address I can send you it.

MrsMcJnr · 30/01/2010 20:17

Hey Lilyloo happy birthday to your 2 year old too! amazing hey?!

Farawaytime - that sounds fab, I'd love a copy thanks. I tried to send you a message to give you my email but it said "Sorry, farawayteatime has chosen not to receive "Contact another Mumsnetter" email from mumsnet. We can't pass a message on for you." My email is "mand mck at live dot co dot uk" Thanks so much and let me know how you are getting on too

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TheDuckSaysMoo · 30/01/2010 20:27

You are not alone - mine was like that too probably until about 10 months. I didn't do anything differently at 10 months - he just seemed to get better at sleeping. I have always suspected that it was just a long run of teething or growing pains.

He often still goes through periods of waking up once a night now (2.2) but is instantly shushed back over. Once a night still feels like heaven in comparison to the early days!

Good luck.

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