DS1 is nearly 3 and actually his sleep is fine at the moment ( I mean he wakes earlier than we'd like but at least he usually sleeps through - I'm not going to mention the bedtime tantrums - thats another issue!), but he didnt sleep through till he was gone 2, and the only way I could get him to nap was to drive him to sleep.
Must have cost us a fortune in petrol
I think we were pretty soft on him - I can't really remember but I think I fed him to sleep for a long time and tried to sleep train when he got to about 8 months ( I did gradual withdrawal) but never had the time or possibly inclination to fix the nap problem. The GW worked but he kept getting ill and regressing and we had to start again from scratch - each time it took longer to work. Lord knows how many hours I spent sat in the dark on the floor of his room.
DS2 is now 10 weeks old, and since he was about 6 weeks I've been trying to get him to self settle as far as possible. Which he could do iniitially. But he's gotten worse not better. I think its my fault because the only routine he has really is at bedtime, when hes knackered and quite easy to put to bed - I didnt even have to bf him tonight, I just sat with him and rocked him in his hammock for a bit.
However, he has no real daytime routine - I have his brother to think about and we go to various toddler groups so I cant put DS2 down in a cot at set times, or even in his bouncer. He may drop off in his car seat during a drive but if hes not in that, then lately he goes into meltdown if hes tired and I dont bf him to sleep.
I seem to spend whole days trying to get him to go to sleep on his own (well, not on his own, but not on me/feeding is what I'm trying to say) He's done it before - but as the weeks go by, he just seems to be unable to do it, no matter how exhausted he is. If he does drop off after feeding I can't put him down. A few weeks ago if I got him to nap in his bouncer, he'd sleep for an hour or so on his own. But if I do get him to nap alone now, he wakes after half an hour and thats that.
Today I was wheeling him around town for ages and he was yawning and rubbing his eyes, but didnt go to sleep until we'd gotten home and it was time for a feed.
Nightimes are pretty bad too after the initial drop off. He'll wake after approx 4.5 hours and I'll feed him. I try to get him to feed for a reasonable time to fill up on milk, but no idea how much he gets as he's bf (he's mix fed, but I only do formula in the morning and sometimes in the daytime as he gets too windy and pukey after a bottle)
I try to rock him back to sleep when he wakes which rarely ever works (but it has, about twice!)
He'll then wake two to three hours later, then two, then one, so its something like
wake 10:15 (feed)
wake 1am (feed)
wake 3am (feed)
wake 4am (bring him into bed with me cos I'm too knackered to feed him sitting up)
wake 5am (feed)
wake 6am (still feeding) then I get up at 7am and take him downstairs cos I cant take it any more.
I guess I'm just waffling on now - I know some children find self settling easier than others and DS2 is still newborn. But I'm pretty sure I'm assisting the sleep problems because both DC's have been the same.
I dont know what to do at the moment to improve the naps and the nightimes. I cant take DS2 upstairs for his nap when I have DS1 - DS1 just either comes up and shouts, or gets up to mischief downstairs. I wont leave DS2 crying alone, and he wont take a dummy.
Are there any suggestions if you've gotten this far? thanks in advance!