8 year old sleep problems

[welshwoman62]

My 8 year old girl has always had difficulty sleeping, often trying to keep me longer in the room by talking, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep causing us to sleep in the room until she goes back to sleep.

It has been fine until recently some older girls told her about a scary film and then she couldnt sleep on her own as she was too scared, so my husband and I decided to take it in turns to stay in her room until she went to sleep. then after a few nights we decided that we couldnt continue so we played a game by checking the room saying everything was ok, we also allowed her to play on her nintendo to help her get sleepy and this worked for a few nights and then just before christmas she came down and said she couldnt go to asleep and wanted someone to sleep with her, We said no and then spent the next two hours taking her calmly back to bed but she would immediately follow us out of the room screaming and shouting.

Our 9 year old boy became very upset worried about her and that if it continued father christmas wouldnt come. Our little girl became a little hysterical but we tried to stay calm, using reward, threats but nothing worked. She eventually fell asleep with exhaustion.

The folllowihg day made no difference and she said she was really scared despite threats, and rewards so we let her sleep in her brothers room, really because christmas was two days away and we could nt bear it occurring over this period.

However now we are are taking it in turns to stay in her room in the evening, we read stories, the light goes out and she has to go to sleep but it can take her upto 1030-11pm, my husband and i hardly get time to talk and our little girl is now pushing the boundaries even further by holding on to me when I leave the room even though my husband is in the room to stay with her so I end up getting cross and yell because she will not stay in her room and I have now way of managing it.

I have read some threads elsewhere and they have advised keeping the door closed although I have threatened my daughter looks terrifed and it feels an awful things to do but I am at my wits end and dont know what else to do.

Any advice ?

i think you need to talk to her.

ask her exactly what she is scared of, and then reassure her as much as you can about each of the things.

I can remember being just like her, i was terrified that a man was in my cupboard and was going to come out and kill me. it was totally irrational, but i was scared stiff
only difference was that i never called out to my parents because i was too scared to shout!

I think it's important you take it seriously, the fact that she is not responding to threats/rewards makes me think that it really isn't something she is making up iyswim?

i think she is old enough though to realise that you CAN'T spend all evening up there with her, and also to realise that whatever bad thing she is scared of is actually unlikely to happen.
you could ask her what she thinks might help her feel better? a dreamcatcher? having a nightlight on? listening to the radio for a little while? reading a book?

personally i find that if i am on the PC just before bed I end up wide awake, whereas if i read i tend to get sleepier, so if she needs something to "do" i would steer clear of the ninetendo maybe and stick with something calmer

I would perhaps also try saying that you have laundry or something to sort, you'll be upstairs with her, but in your own room. she'll be able to hear you (whistle/sing/talk to yourself/make noise) and you will pop your head round the door every few minutes.

Hi thanks for getting back so quickly, I will try talking to her again perhaps mroe specifically about what might help and try calmer approach to sleep time. I think i will try tomorrow doing things outside the bedroom rather than sit in and see how I get on ! will let you know, thanks again

Hi, I'm in a similar situation with my DS 7 yr old. He isn't scared of thingd but is a worrier, and sits worrying about things. I am still struggling with it.