Co-sleeping, back to work, early shifts

[dorisbonkers]

I'm not sure if I'm contravening MN etiquette posting this in two areas but I need advice and it's not that busy in Going Back To Work, and I guess at heart it's a sleep issue.

Hello all. I have gone back to work 3 days a week after a 15 month absence for my first child (she was born when I was on assignment in Singapore, we moved back to London 8 months ago). My husband is looking after her for the days I work and he will work two long night shifts (TV broadcasting) a week.

I work in news and my shift times vary, from 6am until 11am. They are short, at 8 hours, but have a 45 minute commute either side.

The problem I've found is that my baby sleeps with us and spends much of the night attached to my boob. So when I have to get up really early (I've only done 7am or 10 am shifts so far) it's been a bit horrid - her crying and then my husband not being able to settle her or do anything outside with her because it's crack o dawn.

He brings her to my work (SE London to Canary Wharf) each day I work so I can feed her (don't think she actually needs it for feeding purposes but I like to cut down the time I spend away from her) and all in all she's been great.

But I don't know how to manage the early morning upset. Husband has offered to drive me in, which might make her go off to sleep again. But I felt that was more disruptive than keeping her indoors.

Do I really need to move her into her own room? I don't even have a cot for her. Could she go in a normal bed. How do I go about this? Do I even have to?

I've had a think and am not sure that cold turkey moving her to her room is the best answer for both us us, but will obviously consider it. I'll consider anything!

But have come across the Jay Gordon stuff about night weaning in the family bed and wondered if anyone had tried it and found it to work? How much crying was involved?

How old is DD?

I've gone back to work full time and am cosleeping/breastfeeding too. Luckily, although I have to be at work for 9, they don't mind me being in late as I work through lunch and/or can bring work home in the evening.

Could you try setting your alarm earlier, then feed her back to sleep, then tiptoe out? She may then sleep on for a couple of hours. My ds is same but I have been working early shifts for a month (also in tv) and he has just had to get used to going to sleep with dh. Dh just lies with him and sings etc until he goes off. He used to cry but quite quickly got used to it. So it sounds pretty similar to the jay Gordon technique really. Still won't do it if I am around though!

Ps I have clothes make up etc ready for morning in another room so that I don't wake them up getting ready. Good luck!

Saw from your other thread that DD is 15 months. My DS is 14 months.

If I have to leave before he's awake, I tiptoe out and he's happy sleeping next to DH. In fact, if I was there he'd want milk, but if I'm not, he just sleeps! If he does wake, then they both just have to get up and start the day early. He'll then have an extra long nap and go to bed earlier.

Overnight, I've started sleeping at the bottom of the bed, towards the end of the night, away from DS as he mithers me a lot for milk in the early hours. It seems to have helped cut down how often he wants milk.

I went back to work when DS was 8 months, I expressed for a month, then the HV said he didn't need my milk during the day, so I stopped and he hasn't seemed too bothered - just extra feeds when I get home and at the weekend.

Thanks people.

It's good to know I'm not the only person who has an early doors boob monster and who has to sneak off for work.

I think ultimately I do want to continue co-sleeping (although most of my friends think I'm insane, or doing my child a mischief because she's not getting enough sleep to develop ) but I think I will try night weaning, so that she does get used to being in bed with me, but not getting boob.

But she's had a cold this week so think I will just try to be sneaky for the next few days and maybe move position when she is asleep and hopefully try and sneak off. And it's not a total disaster if she does wake and won't sleep. Not the only time she's done that with me and I have boobs.

Sounds very similar to our situation Lizum, will try sleeping at the bottom of the bed !