15 weeks old - how do I bring bedtime forward?

[maldivemoment]

Our little one is almost 15 weeks old and I'm wondering if/what I may be doing wrong regarding bedtime.

He is a very content little soul and we are having a wonderful time with him. However, since his birth my husband and I have not had an evening just the two of us as our little one is not tired, and therefore will not go to sleep until about 10ish.

He is not a great sleeper during the day - the world seems to be far too exciting a place! However I do my best to get him to nap. When he does, most of the time it is just a little half hour nap, morning, lunchtime and afternoon. His afternoon nap tends to be close to teatime - round about 4/5ish. Is this too late for him to be napping?

So, in the evenings it's the three of us sat round the table (well, baby is ON the table in his chair!). Recently he has been sleeping through the night (11-7) so I am not want to appear selfish and if the choice were he's up with us and sleeps through the night or he goes down earlier but is up through the night, then I'll stick with the former! It would just be lovely to perhaps have a bath/read a book/watch a movie occasionally.

Any advice? Is he too young? Should I be encouraging him to go to bed earlier? If so, how? Or will he fall into a pattern when he's ready?

Thanks in advance for your advice/suggestions.

Hi, I think you should do whatever you are most happy with, you say you'd prefer 11-7 than 7-7 with possible wakings. DS went to bed at 7pm every night since he was 6 weeks old and I really believe that was due to a bedtime routine. Having said that he was fed at 10pm and sometimes he woke up in the night until he was 7 months old. But we liked our evenings so we didn't try and change it.

Anyhoo, if you want to get your DS to bed earlier, here is my thoughts (based on 1 DS, so by no means an expert !)

• Try and wake him up from his last nap no later than 5pm, this would aim to get him into bed by 7pm (if he wakes up 30 mins either side then do the same to bedtime).

• Create a bedtime routine you like and stick with it, at that age ours was; feed at 5pm (one breast), bath at 6pm, massage and dress then second breast with low lighting in his bedroom.

• Try and put him down to bed awake. If he cries there are a number of ways to deal with it (shh-pat/PUPD/CC)- as my DS was such a young age when we did the bedtime routine (1 week old!) if he cried we would leave him 2 mins, just to see if he would settle himself, and then if not go in and just try to get him back to sleep; rocking, cuddling, feeding. It took 5 weeks before he learned it was bedtime, and sometimes it took 2/3 hours to get him to sleep but I would never leave the bedroom with him (unless it got to 10pm as he then came to our room when we went to bed).

Basically I think consistency is the key and by having a consistent routine they can come to learn its bedtime. I think I sound like I was training a robot here but its not true!! . We just worked hard because we wanted some us time.

I hope this helps, my dinner is ready, but if you have any questions I will check in later!

PS - my sleep training worked too well, at 14mo DS doesn't want a cuddle and pushes away from me towards his cot

Oh BTW, I am not advocating the various ways to deal with crying, just letting you know there are discussed methods. Before anyone shoots me!

sounds about right to me - about 3 naps a day with about 2 hrs awake between each. I seem to remember mine went down at 7pm woke at about 11pm for feed then at 3 which was dropped later then woke at 7 for day but didn't start going down at 7pm till 4 months?
1no 3= short nap 9am ish long one lunchtime 2hrs at tea(5.30pm) wake a little then sleeps feed at our bedtime 10pm
Saying that my first was all over the place. If they're happy during day getting about 15 hrs sleep should be ok - cut back on afternoon nap by 10-15 mins at a time - see if it makes a difference to night?

I did pretty much the same as chocorange with all three of mine. They were all v unsettled / colicy in the early evening until about 6 weeks or so and would be down with us until after their bedtime feed around 10.30pm. At around 5 / 6 weeks I started trying to get them into a 7pm bedtime routine. Basically after bath (at around 6pm) I would feed then put to bed. For the first week I was in and out constantly - i.e. after the feed the routine would be swaddle, cuddle, pat, put down awake. Usually after a few mins they might be crying so I'd leave for a minute or two to see if they settled, if not, back in, try patting without picking up or rocking the moses basket but if that didn't work then pick up, rock, cuddle, pat again until put down after a couple of mins and leave again. For me it took about a week each time before they got the hang of it and would go to sleep at 7pm ish.

You can still wake and feed again at 10.30 ish if that works for you.

Thanks folks for your words of advice & encouragement. Will take it all on board and cross fingers!