i have decided to do something radical regarding dd4 and her not sleeping.

[misdee]

and thats do nothing

well more preciesely, am not forcing her to sleep.

am not doing cc. not sleep training.

she is currently having a feed and drifting off to sleep.
then will put her in her cot.

if she wakes later and wants cuddles, then will take her into our bed and cuddle back to sleep.

after 14months of trying to get her to sleep at set times, or when i think she should b asleep, i have come to realise that its not going to work.

she is happier when with me, awake or asleep.

so, heres to just going with the flow

ps, i might be back in a week absolutly shattered by this.

As Soph has always insisted on loved close contact with you it's hardly surprising that she wants you to be around when she drifts of to sleep

Sleep definately begats sleep IMO

Really glad to hear it's working for you misdee. Yes, go for it on the book. Just keep it short and with summary boxes for the very sleep-deprived.

lol the book would be verty short.

put them to bed when they show signs of being tired.

the end

lol!

I can see you're going to need an editor . You'll need to include how to spot signs of tiredness for me new parents and, of course, the science bit.

Oh and lots fo pictures of cute sleeping babies.

Chapter 2

Don't put them to bed when they don't show signs of being tired.

can i make up the sciencey bit?

soph woke up about 2am for cuddles, and is now having her nap. been asleep for about an hour now.

i am getting used to this quiet time in the evenings.

signs of being tired, rubbing eyes, yawning and in sophs case wanting her dummy and a blanket to hold.

oh, she did go back to sleep after her 2am cuddles, and woke up at 7am

after a good nights sleep last night, dd4 woke up at 8am. then decided to not nap atall, and was asleep by 8pm

so now i'm utterly confused lol.

Mine was up at 6.45am and has just dropped off now. He has been for a long walk and been swimming, run around like a loon and eaten three huge meals. Yesterday he woke at 8.30am and was yawning his head off at 7pm, we did nothing active all day.
Strange things, kids...

Misdee with the flow deffo best option. You are less stressed, they pick up less tension, everyone's a winner and we all get to SLEEP

Missdee I got to this point with DD1 when she was about 18 months. We took the side off her cot and replaced it with a bed-rail (so she could get out if she wanted to but not fall out when asleep!) and allowed her to fall asleep on my lap in the living-room every night and then join us when she wanted at what ever time she woke up. Within 6 months she was sleeping 8-6 (ish). I think the key here is the not stressing about it. When it stops being a battle it becomes so much easier.

Good luck and I wish you restful sleep!

i think once dd4 can get in and out of a bed safely (and i get round to putting a stairgate up upstairs), then thats what will will be doing.

i am now off to bed as its 15mins past her usualy 'waking' time and ithink i might be ok for her not to wake tonight.

Misdee I finally found you!Wasn't sure you were still posting here Can you reccomend a pram/system thing (can you tell ds is 15)A friend is about to have a bay and we have collected to get her a pram.She doesn't drive if that makes a difference.We want new and groovy but we are all older than her and prams are eons ago.We have £410 if thats a help.Hope peter is well xx

baby not bay

ooo noddy, find out what else she wants from a pram, does she want air tyres? off road, or small folding for the bus.

well haven't told her yet!Will ask the others and get back to you!It will be her only pram needs to be bus friendly and last quite a long time.She would never have this money herself so want something really nice for her.She is quite trendy.She will go to parks a lot I would think as she walks everywhere and lives near 2 parks Is that off road? Is there something that comes apart to go in a car?She doesn't have a car but her friends do or might need for taxis.She is not mega girly but is stylish

do you know, i read yur total amount the wrong way round lol.

i would say,

bugaboo bee

stokke xplory if kiddicare have them on offer.

but the bugaboo bee with the babynest is fantastic. i would buy online from somewhere like mothercare but search out a 10% voucher first.

Thanks will look xx

well its been well over a week now.
dd4 is napping the day, is asleep most nights before 10, and waking once at night.

i do this. my ds is 2. we have adapted. i am knackered and work full time too but its cool, and i'm still up at 22.52! he wakes about three times a night now. it was 6-7 a month ago.

stick with it

Can I join in? Sprout (really not gushy enough to do the whole dear child thing) is 22 months and I am 27+weeks pregnant.

We tried everything and a couple of months ago decided to give up on techniques - but we aren't as radical as you guys. We do insist on a bedtime routine and no books/play in the night and on staying in bed til his bedside light (on a timer) comes on in the morning) - but other than that we do what's needed (cuddles with us til he calms down, sit with him, get in his bed for a bit).

It's been a long journey. I thought I was a tough behavioural type person and it's been hard for me realise I am a big softy who favours a more nurturing approach.

Strange thing is it bloody well works. He knows we're there when he needs us and will test it out for a couple of days then go back to being a good sleeper again. Apart from the latest nightmare/night terror thing that's going on.

So am I still doing something with the routine or can I be one of you?

Hi misdee.
It is nilosu. I am glad is working for you. I should relax about the whole thing as well.
Thanks

hi nilosu

its still working. d4 is asleep by 9pm most nights, and is waking around 2am.

Misdee, thank you, thank you thank you!! I've only read yr 1st post so I hope your situation is still the same! We've also recently decided to be more relaxed about our DS aged 3 not wanting to stay in his bed and he sleeps in with us. We all sleep well and he's much happier but for some reason (friends' attitudes and HV pushing for controlled crying) it took a while to feel ok about it.
Its reassuring to know there are other parents out there who don't have perfect sleepers or who feel comfortable with taking the lead from their DC.
I think alot of our worry was borne out of not feeling in control of the situation as he'd always been such a good sleeper.
As a like-minded mum said the other day "I'm sure he won't be doing it when he's 8".

she is now waking uop around 4am most mornings, not midnight, so is slowly getting through the night. its still tiring, but not as tiring as 'up down, up down, up down' which we were doing.

How's it going Misdee?