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Sleep

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Original poster

ds 2.3 stopped going to bed

19 replies

bambootoo · 11/01/2010 20:54

I've been really lucky so far with DS and he's always gone into bed and slept right through... until last week...

Since then, he wont go into his cot at bed time and if we put him in there he will stand up and cry until his hair is wet with sweat

Instead he will only go to sleep on our bed and we put him in his cot when he's sound asleep.

We've always had the same routine where we do teeth, milk and relaxing on our bed wathing cbeebies before dad comes in and takes him off to bed and he was really happy to do, but now when i ask him if he's ready for bed/wants to go in his cot or tired he says no.

He's fine once he's in his cot, relaxed in his room and in the morning so I dont think he's afraid of going in there, but I dont want to get him into bad habits and for him never to get into bed and settle himself to sleep again

He's stopped having a nap in the day as he's not that keen and doesnt seem to miss it and he falls asleep a bit easier but still wont go to bed. I'm worn out and dont knwo who to ask. Any ideas what I can try?

OP posts:

teaandcakeplease · 11/01/2010 21:40

How old is your LO? Bit difficult to pontificate here without knowing age my lovely x

teaandcakeplease · 11/01/2010 22:48

Just realised the age is in the title of 2.3 years. Oops! Silly me.

I am fairly ruthless with my 2.6 year old girl if she tries the "no" game on something she used to be fine with and is normal. I guess I try and nip it in the bud quick when something new rears its head, as she learns to stamp her auhtority and realise she can say no.

I'm reluctant to give my strategy here as my little girl is probably very different from your boy. But hopefully another MN will see this post and have the answer for you.

Sorry to be totally useless and waste your time

Original poster

bambootoo · 12/01/2010 08:01

Hi,

Thanks for replying. I think you might have something there, I think maybe he's just saying no to see what happens.

Its just really traumatic to put him in his cot and hear him screaming after 10 minutes and 20 minutes and obviously in such distress. I dont want to get into this bad habit, but I dont want to have to be so hard on him...

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Besom · 12/01/2010 08:39

I don't have any advice bugt I posted in behaviour and development last night about something similar. My dd is only 20 months but is doing the same thing (after a long period of good sleep and being easily settled at night).

Last night was totally horrendous because she woke up in the night as well and refused to go back to sleep for 3 hours!

I'm wondering about moving her to the big bed because I might as well do it while she's already this disrupted and it might even make a difference, you never know.

Original poster

bambootoo · 12/01/2010 09:10

Thats really interesting, we've got the big bed ready to go next to the cot in his room, maybe it s worth a try. I'm just worried about him staying in it because when we put him in his room he wants to open the door and go back to our bedroom.

I'll be so interested to know ho wyou get on, maybe I will be brave tonight. Good luck!

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teaandcakeplease · 12/01/2010 09:30

My LO went into a bed at age 2 as she had learnt to get out of her cot. For the first few nights she kept leaving her room, so I'd quietly and calmly just pick her up and place her back in her bed, no talking, no eye contact etc. She'd eventually get bored and go to sleep. After a few days she no longer did it.

The other thing I had to do was totally child proof room and remove toys, otherwise she'd stay in her room but play instead of go to sleep

Original poster

bambootoo · 12/01/2010 13:17

thanks both. i will try him in his big bed tonight with no cbeebies...

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teaandcakeplease · 13/01/2010 08:30

How'd it go?

Original poster

bambootoo · 13/01/2010 08:57

Hi,

It went OK in the end... I gave him a bath and we went into his room for milk and stories and I put him in his bed ( for the first time)

He stropped around for 10 minutes or so, but I sat with him and told him that we were staying. Then dad came home and they cuddled up to have a bottle and a story in the new bed and DS went to sleep and stayed asleep and seemed OK in his new bed this morning.

So I'm not counting my chickens but last night was the best one we've had in ages, so I will stick to this routine I think.

Thanks so much for the advice!!

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Besom · 13/01/2010 13:16

bambootoo - that's encouraging then. I haven't moved her yet but I've ordered a duvet and a bed rail in preparation.

Can you give me an update on how it's going?

Original poster

bambootoo · 13/01/2010 13:41

yes - will do. I cont beleive how well he settled in to the bed last night, will see how it goes in the next few days..

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Besom · 16/01/2010 08:55

babbootoo - how has it been going?

JoW1 · 16/01/2010 11:03

DS is 22 months and started this up two weeks ago. Moved to big bed, slept less, moved back to cot. Now going down ok at 8, but up for 3 hours between 1am and 4am. Watching with interest.

Besom · 16/01/2010 11:23

JoW1 - Is he still napping in the day? The nights when dd has slept best recently have been when she has refused a nap and then gone to bed early (about 7). If she naps she doesn't seem tired at night, resists going to bed until quite late and then seems to be disrupted at night. I'm now wondering if she's trying to drop the nap.

We had a 4.30 - 6.30 wakening last night.

krugerparkrules · 16/01/2010 11:28

bamboo my dd did this at aroaund 18 months, absolutely refused to go into her cot, so we firts moved her onto a mattress on the floor, and she now has a bed - the rail that you can fit (got it from mothercare) keeps them snug in bed ... she slept happily in a bed
so it might just be a reaction to the cot - i couldnt believe my dd how she suddenly would not go into it. we then put her to sleep on a bed and would move her to a cot, but she cottoned on to this fairly quickly - so i think what you are doing by just establishing a bed routine will work ... good luck!

JoW1 · 16/01/2010 13:28

He hasn't napped at nursery since before Christmas and we also decided to try to drop the nap for the last week. He seems happy enough until around 7pm anyway so he probably doesn't need it anymore (sigh). Just glad he hasn't spent the last week screaming from his room at bedtime, but wish we would get our solid 10-12 hours back at night. Hoping it's just a phase that he'll get over soon

Original poster

bambootoo · 17/01/2010 20:13

Hi, just thought I'd give an update. I think we've certainly turned a corner now. The weekend has gone well and I've been on my way downstairs around 7.30 today and yesterday.

So, we've had a new routine and I've tried to have some quiet time for an hour or so coming up to bedtime then teeth, bath and into ds's room for milk and story and then lights off and I've stayed on his bed with him until he's gone off to sleep.

On Saturday we got rid of the cot and put up new grown up transfers on the walls and he seemed to like his new room. Tonight I asked him to go into his room for his milk and he seemed happy to go in and knew what we were doing, rather than want to lie on our bed.

We've had a few waking ups in the night but once asleep he sems pretty settled and Ok to stay in bed until normal waking up time.

He hasnt really napped in the day, but does at nursery but I think I feel a bit more relaxed about that now.

Again, will wait and see and move more towards letting him settle himself in the evenings but definately better. I suppose he was ready to move out of his cot and into his bed.

Besom - how did you get on this weekend?

Jo - all sounds pretty similar to where we were a few weeks ago, hope it gets better soon..

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Besom · 18/01/2010 07:47

That's good bambootoo. We haven't let her nap over the weekend and she has been easy to settle at bed time and at a nice early time because she's tired.

She has woken in the night and both times I took her into our bed and she went off again quite quickly. I know the taking into bed isn't ideal in the long run but it's getting me some sleep.

I'm going to work up to the big bed I think.

Original poster

bambootoo · 18/01/2010 08:01

Besom, I hope you get a few more nights which are quieter. I'm quite amazed how much different the bed has made, I really thought DS loved his cot

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