Might have made rod for my own back here - advice for bedtime pls!

[Stannie]

DS is 14wks and a good sleeper - as in he sleeps in his cot (in our room) from about 11pm to about 8am.

We started off in his moses basket when he came home but did co-sleep from about 3weeks until 2 weeks ago when he moved into his cot as we were disturbing him (!) and he has slept well.

But we haven't got a bedtime routine as such and I am wondering how to start one. As it is he kicks about with us until we go to bed - usually sleeping in his nest thing in the living room from about 9.30pm until we go to bed around 11pm. We then put him into his cot. He settles easily and goes back to sleep within about 5mins.

MiL is telling me this is the very wrongest thing ever to do (this is my PFB!) and he should "go to bed" at a certain time in his cot and that I am making a rod for my own back as he will never settle on his own if we carry on like this.

Is this right ? If so how do I go about putting him down to sleep in the room on his own ?

Bath, Feed then bedtime I get.. but do I just put him in ?

Sorry for more stupid questions

I know its hard but please try to not to listen to people who give you the rod for your own back business, it just isnt true. Children are so adaptable, when you decide the time is right to make changes in his bedtime he will adapt. It sounds like he is a fantastic sleeper for his age and you have a system that is right for you.

My second child is now rising 3 and over those 3 years we have gone from her falling asleep in my arms when fed, to falling asleep when rocked, to when patted, to if I sit next to her, to now when she goes to bed at 7pm in a bunk with her sister and we kiss her good night and walk out. These changes were gradual and made when the time was right for us and for her.

If you have a plan for the future eg bath/ book/ milk/ bed or something similar, you could start bathing at the same time each night perhaps, but to be honest if its working and unstressful DONT MESS. Sounds like you are doing really well. MILs often forget the baby stage and give advice based on their memories of much older kids.

Stannie, sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and that your LO is sleeping really well, as Cathpot says if your routine is working at the moment dont mess with it, I did the same as you with DD, she is now 2, we take her up to bed at night, kiss her good night and walk out the door, she sometimes takes a while to go to sleep but she settles herself without needing us to be with her.

The sids advice is to keep your baby with you for all their sleeps and that is exactly what you are doing

i'm with cathpot and polarmummy on this and did the same as cathpot with my ds now 2.3. if this is your pfb then you take as much time as you need to settle into your night routine. I spent two years and prob adapted it every 5 months or so as ds is my pfb and no other kids at the moment. as a result he now goes to sleep on his own, very happily most nights.