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Original poster

controlled crying and possible ill baby

11 replies

sjcmum · 29/12/2009 13:54

Finally plucked up the guts to do cc with our dd2 who has just turned 1 and still feeding 2-3 times a night, never sleeping more than about 4 hours at a time. Last night was night one and she woke twice, settled after an hour and a quarter first and 3/4 hour the second time. Also leaving her to cry for daytime naps....

... however, she seems really grumpy and full of a cold today and I'm worried that she's getting ill (we think DD1 might have mild chickenpox - so she could be getting that??). Should we carry on, while we have a bit of momentum and neither DH or I have to go to work til next monday - or is that just a pointless task if she is ill and mean too? Anyone experienced anything similar?

OP posts:
Ewe · 29/12/2009 13:57

I wouldn't carry on if you think your DD is ill tbh, it is a bit mean.

onepieceoflollipop · 29/12/2009 13:57

Imo regardless of whether one thinks cc is ok/a good thing or not, it is wrong to continue if the child is ill. I strongly believe that.

(fwiw I wouldn't do cc anyway, but clearly it is a parenting choice that some think is for them.)

In such a young child a cold can be distressing anyway, and/or develop into a temperature.

DollyMessiter · 29/12/2009 14:00

I'd give her as much comfort as and when she needs it if she's ill.

LastOfTheMulledWine · 29/12/2009 14:01

Like onepiece, I wouldn't use cc anyway, but certainly no to using it with an ill child. It is the only way your child can communicate and that communication is never more vital than when they are genuinely ill and in need.

seeker · 29/12/2009 14:03

Absolutely not when she's ill. And please don't leave her to cry for daytime naps - (you don't mean you're leaving her to cry at night do you? You do mean "proper" cc?)

If she's ill she needs you.

claraquack · 29/12/2009 14:03

I made the mistake of doing cc with my dd2 when she was about 9? months, I was having a weak moment and was encouraged to do it by a friend who obviously made herself feel better about leaving her ds to cry by "helping" others to do the same. Anyway, after a couple of nights she literally cried all night, on and off (don't worry I didn't leave her this time, she cried when she was being held etc). Turned out she was pretty ill, toncilitis I think it was. She was probably feeling pretty rotten the first couple of nights I left her to cry and the crying also probably contributed to her pain. I felt very guilty and have never really left her to cry since.

So no, don't.

Original poster
sjcmum · 29/12/2009 14:12

Thanks - I do mean cc, not leaving her to cry. I was going in every 10 mins at least and reassuring her. Believe me I haven't taken the decision to do cc easily at all - it is not something I like much - but I got to the point of being absolutely desperate and so exhausted that something had to change...... Will see how she is later today - but am definitely veering towards not carrying on....

OP posts:
Maria2007loveshersleep · 29/12/2009 21:10

We've done CC- in same kind of circumstances as you- so I do understand where you're coming for, and I also think sometimes there's simply no other viable choice. But I would certainly not continue if the child is ill. The thing is though, I think the 'ill' crying is very different from the 'something's changing & I don't like it' crying that occurs during CC. If you have even a small doubt in your mind that she's ill (and even a cold can be very distressing for little ones as they can't breathe properly), stop, go with the flow for a few days, take good care of her until she's completely ok, and start again when you feel ready, if you feel there's still a need.

addictedtolatte · 29/12/2009 21:25

i would just leave cc till your dd is no longer ill. i did cc with my ds and it worked within 5 days. good luck if you try it again when shes better and its a decision you wont regret.

Original poster
sjcmum · 30/12/2009 13:26

Not really carrying on with it - although having never wanted to before dd now seems to want to fall asleep on her own in the cot rather than on me - and that is after just 24 hours of trying cc. I've just put her down for a nap and she went straight to sleep - I've not been able to do that since she was born - have always had to hold her. She's definitely not well though - so there is no way I would leave her to do any kind of full on crying at all - she's grizzling most of the time she is awake anyway...

OP posts:
Rosebud05 · 30/12/2009 22:44

Agree with other posters - I think that one of the 'check list' things for cc (aside from age etc) is the child being well. Mine sleep poorly when they've got colds as so bunged up.
Hope that she feels better soon.

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