8.5 month old feeds all night!

[Aleesmum]

Hi!

I am new to mumsnet and have been reading these forums lately to help me feel not so alone!

I have decided to post about my son as its driving me crazy, sorry but its a long post.

I have a 8.5 month old DS and I BF, BLW and cosleep.

He used to be a good sleeper, at 2 months he would sleep throught the night! Then when he was 3 months old I went to India for 3 months. While I was there I trvaelled around a bit so his schedule was pretty disrupted. He started waking up a bit in the night and I would feed him back to sleep. But he would still sleep for atleast 5 to 6 hours without waking during the night.

I came back to the UK when he was 6 months old and that is when the trouble started. He started waking up every hour/every 2 hours in the night.

Looking back now, I think it probably was a growth spurt. But things have been bad ever since.

He goes to bed 7ish and wakes up abot 7-7.30 in the morning. Inbetween he wakes up 5 to 10 times. I usually feed him back to sleep, I know he probably isnt hungry all those times but I am tired and i take the easy route

He has started teeting as well, which I guess is adding to the problem. And then just a few days ago he slept through waking up only twice, 10.30 and 3!!!

He is back to his normal routine now, waking up all hours. He naps ok during the day, 2 naps usually 2 to 2.5 hours in total.

For the past week he has been very clingy during the day, not wanting to play by himself, needing me next to him, crying if I go out of sight for a few seconds, etc. Again I think its due to teething but I am not sure.

And is solid intake is sporadic at best. He stooped eating when he had a cold, then a few days ago he really started to eat and then 2 days ago just stooped and every thing I give him gets thrown onto the floor. So is he hungry? I dont know!!

I don't know what to do.
Should I sleep train him? I really really hate to hear him cry but on the other hand I am worried that he needs to learn to self settle and with me feeding him to sleep he isnt going to learn.

Also, I feel very guilty that my baby is not one of those babies who goes into the cot and goes to sleep by himself and stays there till morning!

Also I start work in 2.5 months and I would love to get more sleep by then.

I guess am just looking for some reassurance that I am not a bad mother(!) and would help if any of you have been through this and come out on the other side!

Well It sounds very much like what we've all been experiencing on the April Mums 09 thread for which I can say ((hugs)) I know where you're coming from.
You're not a bad mother I am sure! Don't worry yourself too much about the ups and downs both with the sleep and the eating. I think it's very normal (you may or may not be happy to hear).
Sleep issues are always problematic and we struggle with them lots, to cc or not, to co sleep yet or not. You need to do what you feel is good for you and your little one.
I was also told that babies right about this age start having trouble sleeping through the night and wake up squawking because they start realising that they are separate entities from us. And the separation causes anxiety and stress.
Plus, when they start learning new things they wake up and practise them during the night.
Either one of those things may be happening with your little one.
I would say from my experience with my Moo that she's best with a little bit of a schedule/routine. (But I'm really not strict about such things and really let her clue me in on what she needs and wants-especially when it comes to sleep). And I would think having a loose routine will help when you go back to work too.
All that aside, Please come join us on the April thread, the other ladies will have better and lovely things to say to you Everyone will be all of you having travelled with your lo in India. (I know I am) We're a fun loving bunch and are threads are known to move fast -we chat a lot- but there's no worry there either. Just pop on when you can and we'll wrap you back up in our gossipy girl friend embrace once more and fill you in on the juicy details of everyone's latest sleepless nights (sometimes they're sleepless for good reasons even ) and food dramas.

BErriesBEllsandMOOnlight Thanks sooo much for ur reply. I will definitely be joining the thread though my LO was born on March 29th

I think u might be right about the separation anxiety thing, that must be atleast part of the reason he is waking up!

Will chat more on the other thread, thanks again!!

There are a few others whose babes were born in March (WFH for instance has a lo with a March 29th birthday) tho eta's were April I think. I'm glad you're going to join us tho. It's a great help when you're struggling and need reassurance.

aleesmum - this sounds very similar to what we went through with madam, although we weren't co-sleeping. she is about to be 12 months old, and we decided (after being driven to the edge of sanity) to consult millpond sleep clinic. they were brilliant. they started by giving us a plan to separate the feed/sleep connection as i was positive that her waking was not due to hunger (we started this plan when she was 9 months old) - and then we went on to cc. this decision wasn't taken lightly, but in the end the anticipation was way worse than the actual doing of it. it worked very quickly and miraculously we now have a daughter who sleeps through from 7.15 to 7.15 (although the first few months she woke scarily early - about 5.50am, but that has now changed). also, i now know that if she wakes in the night and cries, it is for a reason, as opposed to habit - she had simply got used to having the boob to go to sleep.

i know there are some people on mn who will castigate me for using cc, but to be honest, we were at our wits end, and in the end it has worked fabulously and she is happier, we are happier and life is much easier. let me know if you want more information about separating feeding/sleeping.

trust your instincts, do what is best for you and your dp, and there is an end in sight.

waitinggirl, i could do with some info about separating the feeding/sleeping. Im sure dd isnt hungry, sometimes she will wake up (about 6 times a night) and only suck very lightly, not really feeding at all just using my boob as a dummy if anything!!! If you have any info that would be great x

Hi,

Thanks for your messages. I just thought I'd give an update about my son.

I was going to start some kind of sleep trainig after I had posted but he fell sick, flu/cold/fever/cough etc on and off for more than a week so I completely abandoned that plan. He still has a bad cough.

Also, last 2 nights he has been impossible to settle at his usual time, 7.30. He naps very well during the day, but if he takes a nap after 2pm, he cannot sleep till 9 or 10!!

So I left him with DH and went to bed coz I was exhausted. And when he got tired DH brought him to bed and then lay down next to him pretending to sleep (I was already asleep). And he went to sleep!! all by himself!!

So I guess this means he does not need the boob to sleep?

Btw, it hasnt stopped him from feeding in the night, but i think he might be hungry being sick and all.

waitinggirl - Thanks, I might just reach the edge of sanity myself and take u up on that! At the moment, I am telling myself that he is not well so he cant really help it
Also, if he can sleep without the boob does that mean he is waking up for some other reason?