Controlled Crying with DD 18 months - URGENT SUPPORT REQUIRED!

[emotionalwreck]

After 6 weeks of escalating sleep problems, which started with night waking and is now affecting the intitial settling to sleep phase, I have started using controlled crying.

Has anyone else tried this technique, and how did you get on. I really need to know I'm doing the right thing - am at my wits end.

She isn't ill or teething, and stops crying the second I enter her room! HELP !!!

If she stops as soon as you enter her room maybe gradual withdrawal would be less stressful for you both? Spend a night or two sitting nearby, then each night, move closer to the door, until you are sitting at the door. Then just outside an open door, then graually closing it - it'll take a few weeks, but may be less stressful in the long run?

Have tried that but she just sits up. Was in her room for 6 hours. She wants me to pick her up and rock her to sleep, but then when I put her down she wakes straight up. So I feel like I have to use a strategy that involves her going to sleep without me there if that makes sense.

She has been crying now for a total of 1 hour 15 minutes and is wet through with sweat

I too have an 18mth old who is not a good sleeper. I called a mothercraft nurse who I have used before for sleep and she was confident that if I remained committed that two nights would 'give her the gift of sleep'. Following the call DD slept through the next 4 nights - very unexpected, but has only slept through 1 night out of the last 5. The trouble is that I am too sleep deprived to stay up for hours trying to stick to the program and am just hopeful that things will miraculously improve without it.

Ah, ok. How hard for you! I have heard that CC is hell on earth for a few nights but then works like a dream. Hopefully she'll get the idea. Bless her!

((Hugs)) for you though! It's really hard hearing them yell.

Never really worked for my dd, she'd cry until she made herslf sick and it wracked me with guilt. I couldn't do it anymore. It's not something I'd really be comfortable doing again.

Have you tried a nightlight, soothing music, singing to her, telling bedtime stories, having 'wind down' time before bed, completely exhausting her before bedtime, rocking her...? Does she still have any warm milk before bed?

Sorry, I don't know what to suggest. The whole cc thing never worked for us and we both found it quite distressing to go through. But I know how exhausting it is when they won't sleep!

Is she in a routine?

I don't know if I'll be jumped on for this or not, but I'm guessing she's in a bit of a state and has worked herself up tonight. I'd be inclined to go and get her cleaned up and give her a big cuddle and a rock, just to reassure her. That may be the wrong thing to suggest, but it's what I'd want to do.

Thanks for that ladies. She was a really good sleeper up until the last 6 weeks. Seems to have coincided with a cold, an overnight stay at Granny's house, and me feeling guilty that I work full time.

Gonna keep trucking.... Surely she can't keep it up for much longer?????

Still crying 1 hour and 30 mins now...

My DS2 took weeks but we got there in the end and he does not appear permanently scarred. It has gone down in family lore how we put him in the basemnet and dh had to hold me down to stop me goingdown to him

maybe drop a daytime nap instead. childrens sleep needs change and sometimes it is only clear with hindsight what is causing the problem. if she isn't settling down she may well not be tired enough. or even over tired because of sleep disturbance.

but try limiting sleep by an hour or so in 24hrs and making sure she is physically exhausted by bedtime before the crying stuff.

She only has one nap just after lunch and we've been struggling with that one too!

Her sleep pattern pre-altered pattern was...

Bedtime 6.30-6.45pm
Woke 7.00-7.30am
Naptime 12.30
Woke 1.15-2.00pm

She's only needed one nap for the last 6 months. Does anyone think I should drop the nap?

If you are going to do cc then commit to it, would be my advice. She could cry for hours. Most babies cry less the second night, and generally are much improved within a week. BUT don't torture yourself or her if you're unsure if you can do it.

re napping - I'm a huge believer that sleep breeds sleep. Has she dropped the nap naturally? Was it effecting her night sleep? I'd actually try to reintroduce a nap- at least an hour.

you might be putting her to bed too early. ds has never needed more than 10hours in one go, he is 4 now and has just gone to sleep. he'll be up at 6am. you could make it up during the day with nap(s) if needed.

Agree with drinkyourmilk. It does work but babies can cry for hours the first couple of nights. and agree re daytime naps. My worst sleeper ws the one who i let give up the early pm one

Thanks.

Even as a young baby she was a poor napper. 3 naps of 30 mins was the best we ever got so the night sleep has always been much longer. My older DD was the same, she's 4 now and still sleeps 12.5 hours a night (with no naps!)

Thanks for all you support ladies

Just a little update...

She cried for 3 hours, then slept from 10.10pm until 8.00am this morning

However, we're on to nap time now... and she's been crying for 45 mins

emotionalwreck I am nanny and I do a lot of sleep routine work so hope this helps you.

Persoanlly if she has been a poor napper I would ditch her day time nap completely (assuming she is 18 months). If she is ratty without the nap then I would make it a tad later say 1.15pm.

It is hard to say over the net as I take my cues from the child but CC does not work for every child - they just get too cross to sleep. How does her nap/sleep routine go? And what happens when you out her down, go upstairs etc. How is she during the day?

When you say crying for 45 minutes what do you mean, on and off grizzling or outright screaming for 45 mins?

It wont take too many nights for her to just lay down and go to sleep on her own wit CC. I did it with a younger Dd and after around 4 nights, she just laid down without a fuss. Unfortunately, she still didn't sleep through, but she went to sleep straight away.