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Toddler: Co-Sleeping to Own Bed All Night - How Have You Done It?

6 replies

ChrisMissWooWoo · 15/12/2009 17:14

What the title says really ... looking for new ideas on achieving this.

DD is 2.6 and I am currently on 3rd attempt in 6 mths to get her to stay all night in her own bed. The previous 2 attempts have resulted in her coming back to full co-sleeping ie being put to bed in "mummy daddy bed" from the off. She seems to sleep so much better in our bed and I feel like a "normal" person rather than a walking zombie. For reasons I won't go into here it is time for her to go in her own bed.

Getting her to fall asleep in her own bed is easy, it takes less than 5 minutes after lights out although I do sit with her. If she wakes before midnight all she usually needs is a quick cuddle or a drink and she's straight back to sleep.

The problems start after midnight. Last night I was up 4 times to her, no settling, wanting to come in our bed, I had to get in with her (in her cot bed!) until she was asleep. By 5am I'd had enough and got her into our bed. This has been like this for about a week and has been getting worse (as has happened on the previous 2 attempts)

She never gets up out of bed so can't do the putting back to bed without saying a word technique. Cannot leave her crying - not my thing.

Have tried sleeping on floor in her room - not very comfortable and she just gets under duvet with me (or her dad)

Have tried getting her to put own toys to bed and reading them a story etc. Playing in her room more in the day (it's quite small so usually play in the lounge)

I wouldn't mind getting up to her constantly if I thought that eventually she would sleep for longer in her own bed. I think she has slept all night in her own bed on a couple of ocassions on one of the previous attempts - just because.

She has all her teeth and isn't ill. She no longer naps in the day so cannot cut back on that. I try and tire her out as much as possible with trips to parks etc. but this makes no difference.

Me and dp are thinking that we will go back to sleeping on her floor as we really really don't know what else to try. Would welcome advice.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
verylittlecarrot · 15/12/2009 17:28

I have no advice for you (sorry) but am marking this thread and will be watching closely for tips! You are not alone...

LastOfTheMulledWine · 15/12/2009 17:42

My dd is 2.7 and we co-slept until a couple of months ago. Still do a bit.

I don't have any bright ideas I'm afraid. I took the view that she'd slept with us for over 2 years, it was hard for her to change that so I wanted to do it gradually and in her own time. I wanted her to feel ready and involved in the process.

Like you the getting her to sleep in her own bed was fairly easy. She settles well and I told her that if she needed us in the night to come through and she could get in with us but we'd like her to sleep in her own bed if she was happy with that.

She always ends up in with us but later and later. At first it was at midnight or earlier then 1am, 2am etc but now it's around 4am. I also hear her wake up before she gets in with us and turn over, cuddle her toy, say goodnight and go back to sleep in her own bed which she didn't do a couple of months ago. So, I figure it's changing slowly and I sort of expected that and I think it will improve over time.

What I've also found helps is that I don't cuddle her when she's in with us. Obviously if she seeks it out I do but then I lie her down away from me and I don't cuddle her when she sleeps like I used to because I found she was associating being cuddled with sleep and her stretches of sleep in her own bed improved once that stopped.

That wasn't much help was it really. Was more a show of solidarity.

deepdarkwood · 15/12/2009 17:47

You ain't going to like this - but I just waited til it stopped.

Dd is now 3.5, and I'm trying to remember when it tailed off- sometime between 2.5 and 3 - she just stopped waking up.

Very occasionally now comes in with us (& I love it when she does

ChrisMissWooWoo · 16/12/2009 11:44

update

forgot to mention in my original post that dd has been staying awake for 1.5 - 2 hours in the middle of the night on this last attempt. Last night we worked out that her ear is hurting. Have been round to the dr and she has an ear infection. So, that of course explains why it's been difficult this time around

Think the best thing is to get her back in bed with me til the infection has gone and try again after that. Although I don't think anything much will change.

thanks for the support everyone. she is starting nursery for a couple of afternoons in january and maybe when she gets used to me not being there she might miss me less in the night when she wakes? or maybe it'll make it worse ...

OP posts:
sam9868 · 16/12/2009 19:40

our two an hlf year old has always been a good sleeper - never been a problem to put down and sleeps through. However last week we put him in a bed. He gets into bed OK but will then come to us asking for a cuddle. We settle him again and he goes off, but will then come through to our room in the early hours of the morning. Any suggestions ?

sam9868 · 17/12/2009 13:45

thanks...and sorry...new to Mumsnet, since posting found a thread specific to transition from cot to bed.

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