Can I remove these rods from my back without cc? Dp thinks not

[ParanoidAtAllTimes]

Alright, I hold my hands up, 5 month ds can't go to sleep without being fed or rocked . This wasn't a problem when he was sleeping well but for the last couple of months he's been up many, many times each night. I lose count but I think he has at least 6 night feeds (only counting after 10). We've tried moving him into his cot, giving him a thicker grobag in case he's cold, feeding as much as possible in the day, doing as much activity as possible in the day...all to no avail. He naps fairly well in the day but needs help to go to sleep.

Now I am so exhausted that he ends up sleeping in our bed through much of the night as it's the only way I can get some sleep. However it's getting harder and harder to get him to sleep in his cot now- I've made yet another rod for my back

Dp and I have agreed that if ds could settle himself he may not wake as often- sometimes he gulps away his night feeds whereas sometimes he chomps for a bit then falls asleep. However dp thinks cc will be the only thing that will work and I really don't want to do this. Has anyone had success with gradual withdrawal? I'm not convinced that he'll fall asleep in his cot even with one of us there...

We're becoming desperate and I'm worried that the longer we leave it the harder it will be

Jay Gordon
[rummages] here
is meant for stopping bfing while cosleeping but the methods are sound, although we did each 'step' for much longer than 3 days - in fact as long as it took dd to be perfectly happy with it.

for what it's worth there is often a grwoth spurt at this age and it may improve in time...

Thanks Mrs Badger. Do you think this would be ok to use on a 5 month old? Say if we started with a 4 hour stretch instead of a 7 hour one?

Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution? ttp://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Foreword/dp/0071381392

It'll do a few things for you:

• help you realise that there are lots of people worse off
• help you think about what is/isn't important to you in terms of sleep behaviours (eg do you actually mind if he co-sleeps? Or do you just feel it's proof you've 'failed'?)
• give you a range of alternative options to try, depending on which sleep issue you decide to tackle.

Tbh, it was actually 1 & 2 that were most useful for me - just in terms of giving me some perspective.

Too young for cc.

I do sympathise, but I would go with the co sleeping if that is what works. Some call it making a rod for your own back, I prefer calling it responding to the needs of my baby. Sorry, that sounds a bit wince making, but I truly believe it.

I transferred my dd into a cot age 14 months by sitting by the cot patting her to sleep each time she woke, it took three nights. Up till then she had been in my bed.

Sorry, back again.

You sound like you feel that you have failed. You haven't, babies have different sleep patterns that change with time. Why shouldn't your little baby be held or rocked to sleep? I think that it is very sad that society thinks such little babies should always be able to settle themselves, they are SO tiny.

When it is hard work (my two were like yours as well, so I do know what it was like) it would be helpful if people around you congratulated you on responding to the needs of your baby, rather than talking about rods for backs etc.

You sound like a mum who has done the best for her baby to me.

Deepdarkwood- thank you, that might be a good investment! Some perspective might be good too- it's hard when I'm up every hour with ds and my friends' babies are sleeping through

HumphreyCobbler- thank you for the words of support Yes, I do feel like I've failed as ds has gone from sleeping well in his crib with 1 night feed to hourly wakings and being unable to go to sleep without me there!

The problem with cosleeping is that I'm only happy doing it at the moment because we're on a futon in ds's bedroom so if he were to fall out he wouldn't go far. We're away for xmas and I won't be comfortable cosleeping when we're away. Plus I'd like ds to be less reliant on me as I'm away for a weekend at the end of Feb and I'm so worried that he won't cope without me I'm considering cancelling... of course, all my worries are compounded by the fact that I'm suffering from major sleep deprivation!