Help me to break our bad habits

[chaosisawayoflife]

Dd is 19 months old. She started sleeping through at about 8 months but not every night. About 2 months ago she had a rough time with teething and illness which really affected her sleep. Since then nighttimes have been a nightmare. We struggled to settle her in the night so for an easy life we started to bring her into our bed, initially from about 4ish but it's got earlier and earlier. We also gave her milk to help settle her. We are now in a position where she wakes up initially anywhere between 11 and 1, comes into our bed, has a bottle and either sleeps or throws herself around the bed, pulls my hair, kicks me, climbs on me and eventually sleeps sideways. She then usually wakes again at around 3 and has another bottle. Dh reached the end of his tether with this sometime ago and i'm getting there. I know we need to break these habits but don't know how to go about it. I want her sleeping in her own room all night and not having milk. Do i tackle it one thing at a time or all at once? How can i help her and us to get a decent night's sleep? Typed on phone so please ignore spelling etc.

hi, i am sorry to hear your nights are so disturbed you must be tired. ok, with my DS i tackle one thing at a time. there are 2 issues - the not sleeping in her own bed and the needing milk.

how about tackling one thing at a time?
you can start by taking her back to her bed when she comes in to your bed. with no eye contact and minimum talking, tell her it is bedtime and she needs to sleep in her own bed. no doubt she will pop back up and will cry and scream maybe. you need to be firm. with my DS, i remember doing this taking him back to his bed for 2 hours! i lost count how many times. i would walk him back to his bed, say good night, he would be crying, then pop back up, follow me i would take him by the hand and lead him back to his bed. repeat and repeat and repeat. you need to be strong and it will work. if you give in say after telling her she should be in her own bed. she will think you dont mean it and it will be harder next time.

about the milk, you can give her a bottle and she can drink it while in her bed. she might be a bit soothed by this. at least she has a bottle of milk to drink and will help her sleep.

good luck !

Thanks heron. She's actually still in a cot so can't get up and follow me, just screams the house down! Your approach sounds sensible though, still giving her the milk for now just in her own room. It's going to take a will of iron though as its so much easier to take her into our bed and get back to sleep myself but we can't go on as we are, dh really doesn't cope with it and get's so stressed with her in the night which really upsets me.

oh good she is still in cot! that makes it a LOT easier! my DS was already in big boy bed and it was exhausting returning him again a and again! so good luck and yes, it will take a will of iron but once you get it done, you and ur DH will get some sleep again