Should I let him sleep it off?

[Igglybuff]

My DS is 9 weeks old and his nights are getting worse..... He wont settle from 8pm - 3am before falling asleep for a good 4 hour stretch, waking for a feed then falling asleep again.

This happened for the first time about a week ago and he was so tired that I let him sleep. After a few days, he recovered and went back to being a bit easier to settle and sleeping a bit more at night. However the last three nights he's back to the bad routine again, despite looking really tired at 8pm and us putting him to sleep. He just wakes after 45 mins for a feed and then is impossible to settle.

Me and my DH are cracking under the strain. I exclusively BF and DH half - heartedly suggested formula but I dont think it'll help. DH also thinks maybe we shouldn't let DS sleep sp much in the day - but when I wake him up during a nappy change after a bad night, DS has such massive bags under his eyes and is grizzling for sleep not long after.

I know this will pass but wanted to check that keeping DS up in the day when he wants to sleep is a futile exercise?

Sleep so much not sp much!

Hi Iggly, just wanted to say try and hang on in there. The early days are so hard but it will get better. In my experience trying to stop DD sleeping in the day was always counter productive. She's always slept best at night after good long daytime sleeps. If you try and keep your LO awake when he's wanting sleep he's probably just going to get over tired and even harder to settle. He is still soooooo little and you are still at the stage where you just need to do whatever it takes to survive and try to sleep yourself whenever he does. In a few weeks time you might want to think about getting into more of a fixed routine - if you want.

It is exhausting in those early days.

I think they have a lot growth spurts in the 1st few months which affect their sleep and feeding patterns.

I do think exclusive bf makes things easier, I imagine having to make up bottles / sterilising etc on top of getting up at all hours would be more hassle.

Can you grab sleep when DS is sleeping or consider co-sleeping?

I obsessed about trying to find a routine with DS and in retrospect it would have been much easier to go with the flow.
IMHO all the advice about establishing an early routine, ensuring they settle themselves etc causes more stress than letting them settle into a pattern in their own time. They all get there in the end - some sooner than others.

It will get better

Thanks all (just had a quick nap with DS sleeps) - DH unfortunately has to work and helps out with DS at night so is really suffering, which is why he's looking for a quicker solution. We're going to introduce a routine soon for bed time as currently it's just a quick dash to change DS before he gets overtired of an evening!!

Sleep begets sleep. When he is tired let him sleep. My DD 9 weeks has a routine of wake, feed, change, have fun, get tired, sleep repeat til bedtime. The reliable thing is that almost exactly 2 hours after waking she needs to sleep again. I keep an eye on this but don't worry how long she sleeps for. As a rule I never wake her.
She sleeps from 8 til 7 at night with a 4am feed, so tell dh that depriving him of sleep in the day will definitely not work!

harecare - your DD sounds like DS although he only lasts about an hour awake! Ah if only DS had your DD's night sleep patterns too

Good luck with getting more sleep. I'm sure he'll start sleeping at night better soon, but I doubt interfering with his daytime sleep patterns or happy bfeeding will help.

I suggest you start your evenings with your DS around 6pm. BF babies like to cluster feed in the evenings. Let him nurse and doze and nurse and doze, rather than have a big feed at 8pm, then sleep for one sleep cycle (45 min) and then have a long wakeful stretch. Does that make sense? Easier said than done, though.

ches I'll try it thanks. We've done it once before from 8pm and it sort of worked. It's funny though - his sleep patterns keep changing. Last night he slept 12-3am which is long for him. He used to sleep 3/4am-8am. Maybe he'll combine the two one day!