I think I know what I need to do.

[Pinkjenny]

So, as is widely documented by me on here, dd is, and always has been, a crap sleeper. She is 2.7yo and has coslept with us since 4mo. For the past ten days, she has been sleeping in her own bedroom, albeit with me in there as well. She was doing brilliantly, although clearly with me still there, we'd just moved the problem to a different room.

She has a TV in there and we have (stupidly) been letting her watch it, but she is going to sleep later and later every night, last night was 9.35pm. She woke up hysterical after 45 mins, I brought her downstairs because I couldn't calm her (much to dh's dismay) and she was completely fine. We went back upstairs, put the TV on, and she went to sleep at 2am.

So tonight - no TV? Ignore screaming unless she can actually tell me what's up - which she couldnt/ wouldn't last night.

I don't have any other options, do I? Ds is due in 3 weeks

probably wise to limit it in some way - perhaps just 20mins, if that's easier than none at all? Or suggest that there will be stories and songs instead?

my DD is a similar age, and VERY stuck to her little routines. whenever we change something, we aim to give her a couple of days notice and bang on about it for a while so she gets used to the idea a bit beforehand.

good luck.

Take the TV out of her room - bedrooms are for sleeping in, not watching TV imo. I think she may be playing you up tbh - at that age DS was totally capable of working out the way he wanted things and would push the boundaries

Are you sleeping with her ? If she'll settle fo DH, I'd get him on an airbed in her room to start with so that he is with her, and can then gradually remove

forgot to add, my DD has recently started pissing about at bedtime, even though she doesn't watch telly (eg 15 million trips to the loo, dropping toys and getting up to put them in). so do most of her friends. so it's probably also a two and a bit thing, rather than just a telly thing.

Thanks for the replies. I was convinced there was something wrong with her, I was checking her bed for blood or vomit! Dh was not so easily played, he was saying, 'she can't tell you what's wrong with her, because there is nothing wrong with her!' I don't know what to do about the TV. Do I limit it or just say no TV? She is also messing with the need a drink, need calpol, need a different book.

The walls are closing in on me!

Jenny get the TV OUT!!! You are just making more bad habits that you will have to break.

You know that though don't you.

You need to put M on an airbed in there with her and gradually move it further away from her bed until he is out the room.

NOT YOU.

You need to be in bed and enjoying some sleep because soon you will have a teeny baby attached to you.

what does she watch? We discovered with DS (same age) that if he watched a film on an evening he settled badly and had a disturbed night - just films like cars, ice age. So now he can't watch them after 4pm and if he watches TV on an evening it's Top Gear or soemthig equally bland. Think the colours, noise and flashing lights were to blame.

I'd say no TV. If she's doing the messing around thing, then you have to get hardline (and I hate saying that, but with DS it was the only way), and once the agreed number of books has been done, just keep saying 'No, it's sleepy time now'. DS gets one trip to the loo, and thats it - I just keep lying him down and tucking him in.

still doesn't sleep well mind, but we definitely saw the association

I am determined not to use dh. He has absolutely no patience, and I refuse to make things even more stressful than they already are. I take the point about the films, she was watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang last night. I am just going to have to leave the TV off. I am so sick and tired of it all.

CBeebies / Friends / Top Gear are all 'safe' we've found, although probably better all round just to read a story

I have said the same Jen about the airbed, that is what I did with DS1, although it took me 10 weeks to finally get out of his room. You absolutely must start this tonight, because a) time is running away from you now and b) because it can't get any fucking worse.

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

And, if you are struggling in the night, please text me. It is probable that I will be awake too.

I'd definitely get rid of the TV - am a big believer in the 'bedrooms are for sleeping' rule. Watching TV in bed is bad enough for f*cking up adults' sleep patterns let alone a 2 year old who doesn't yet have a sleep pattern! Take it OUT of her room!

My 2.3 yr old has also started buggering about at night time, needs calpol, wants a story, wants a cuddle etc. We did a full on intensive week of putting him to bed with cuddles and kisses, then once we'd left the room if he got up we'd put him back to bed in silence, with little or no eye contact. He then went through a phase of doing a poo (or two, or three) to ensure more attention but we just changed his nappy in silence and put him back to bed, tucked him in and left the room. We weren't nasty, just firm. After about 5 days we saw a huge improvement.

Now most nights he only gets up once or twice (trying it on) and is put back to bed by me or DH and he then settles.

Having said all this, DC2 is due in April and we've moving DS into a new bedroom and new big bed in a couple of weeks so who knows how that'll go...! In my experience though you need to have a goal, make a plan and STICK TO IT for a good week, and it'll usually work. It's hard, but it'll be worth it when your DD goes to bed on her own.

Have you tried a sticker chart / reward system for going to bed / sleep on her own? Always worth a try, in conjunction with having a new, firm routine.

Good luck!

IME it takes a bit longer that a week when your toddler is more 'high needs' as I know PJ's DD is. It took me 10 weeks during early pregnancy to get DS1's sleep sorted. He is now in his own room, but between him and DS2, I was up 13 times the other night.

DS1 is giving his bottles to Father Christmas though, so that might help.

I could slap myself for all this, I really could. You can see what's happening but just keep taking the easy option. It is comforting to know that other dcs of a similar age are also messing about though. I don't have ten weeks though, I only have three. Which is possibly a little short of time. I am hoping Su will not interject here and tell you all how long I have been vowing to tackle this for.

I was so proud that she was sleeping in her own bed, I never expected a further backward step.

You're not the only one who takes the easy option!
Can I suggest you dont do anythiong too radical - DS's sleep all went to pot anyway when DD arrived. SHe's 11 weeks now, and we're getting there...

Anyway, who cares how long you have been procrastinating. NOW is your chance to get it underway. What will happen when you are in hospital, how will DH manage her?

I don't know how he'll manage her. She does tend to play up a lot less for him than me, though. I just don't want to leave him to sort it out now though, mainly because I would have a nervous breakdown.

She is currently crying because I won't let her draw on the living room wall. What joy.

Are you still busy tmrw? Can you not come here to get away for a bit?

No plans tomorrow now. A is with me though.

Well they can play bins and we can chat, will be a break from your house anyway.

Having coffee with friend then picking N up from playgroup, come for lunch?

Great stuff.

Speak later then, off to Traffic Centre (as N calls it)