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Nearly 3 year old DD waking up to 5 times a night and waking DS. What do I do?

8 replies

Fandango · 02/12/2009 12:31

My DD has previously been a great sleeper (although has protested going to bed at night for a long time now). For the past month though she has taken to screaming at the top of her voice when we put her to bed and hammering on bedroom door. This is a problem as its waking my 10 month old DS. We deal with this by taking her back to bed and explaining that its bedtime and she needs to go to sleep etc etc. The second time she gets out of bed then she gets taken back with a firm 'good night, see you in the morning' and the third and subsequent times I put her back in bed and say nothing (supernanny technique). She continues to get out of bed and scream until she eventually asks for a cuddle which I give her and then she goes to sleep. This in itself is not too bad but then at the moment she then goes on to wake up 5 times a night at worst and twice at best. When we go in she just whinges and whimpers and won't say whats wrong although sometimes she says ' somethings hurting me', 'I want to say sorry', 'I need something' etc. Sometimes we can settle her with a drink of water and a cuddle but other times we just leave the room and the screaming and banging starts again - thus waking DS. If she does settle after a drink of water then more often than not she can't seem to get back to sleep and like last night is crying and shouting for me again 20 mins later.
I try not to get angry with her but when I'm stood on the landing with both DD and DS crying, I don't know who to deal with first (if DH is away with work) and I just get so annoyed that she has woken DS up! What is the best way to deal with this? I know she needs reassurance etc but it seems that when I do try to do this she gets irritated and cries more and when I leave the room she's hysterical. I've tried a reward chart but this isn't working. Should I try leaving her to cry for a few mins before I go in and she what happens?

Any advice appreciated. I'm really worried that she's not getting enough sleep as she won't nap in the day now.
x

OP posts:
Fandango · 02/12/2009 12:59

bump

OP posts:
Fandango · 02/12/2009 16:46

help....

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 02/12/2009 20:16

Attention seeking? DD (4) started waking up in the night and asking for stuff after DS (6 months) was born. Now I sometimes leave DS with nanny and spend lunchtime or even half days just with DD and she is now much better.

MegBusset · 02/12/2009 23:08

DS1 (2.9) has been pulling this stunt for a few months too -- he'll have a few nights of multiple wakings then go back to sleeping through for a few nights. It's exhausting as I have a 7mo too, so I know how you feel!

I think it is a combination of teething (back molars), jealousy over baby, night terrors and just because he can. No brilliant advice although if he wakes a few times and seems upset then I give Calpol in case it's teeth and that sometimes seems to do the trick.

Fandango · 03/12/2009 08:45

last night when she woke and started crying I left her for 5 mins before going in. I didn't say anything to her but just covered her back up and left the room. It seemed to do the trick. The second time she woke she actually fell out of bed! which has never happened before so I gave her a cuddle then and popped her back in. The thing is, this morning she said to me - 'I didn't wake up last night did I mummy' which makes me wonder if she's actually awake .....

God this is a funny age!

OP posts:
duvet · 04/12/2009 20:25

We had this problem for the last year dd is now 4! Tried rapid return consistently and without saying but didnt so in the end we resorted to the Christopher Green's rope trick, where we tied a rope to the door handle and secured it the other end, and left her to it, this worked the best and cut it down to once a night at most. However she's been ill again recently and the problem has returned looks like we might have to get the rope and sticker chart out again!

jelliebelly · 04/12/2009 20:39

We had this for a few months with ds when I was pregnant - he was 3.5. With hindsight I think a lot of it was to do with attention seeking - esp as if dh went to him he would scream the place down. We tried various tactics including rapid return, a sticker chart for staying in bed till morning etc all of which worked for a while, as soon as dd was born it stopped completely which was surprising considering we were worried about a newborn crying waking ds up!

3HotCrossBuns · 06/12/2009 22:11

Apologies for jumping onto this thread but I am also in the middle of similar behaviour from DS2 who is nearly 2.8. 4 weeks ago he got out of his cot 3 times in the night so we moved him into a bed and since then it's been awful. On days when he doesn't nap (afternoon nursery) he goes to sleep quickly, over days it's a battle getting him to bed. We have a rule that if he gets out of bed then his bedroom door is shut - tonight he was hysterical about the door being shut but seems unable to stay in bed!!!

Every night regardless he's up constantly between 12 and 3.30 ish. Then my 4 month old DD wakes twice between 4 and 6 (she's not hungry and settles without a feed, not cold etc so I'm not sure what her problem is - a different thread anyway!!).
He cries for DH and cuddles. The last 3-4 nights DH has got tough and not given him a cuddle and shut the door on the 3rd wake up which causes screaming. Whilst DS2 is not waking up the baby he does disturb DS1 (4.6) who is then tired at school the following day.

2 months ago we had a change of nanny and starting nursery so I wondered if he could be a bit insecure but surely not for this long?? After a month of total 3 hrs disturbed sleep a night on top of general new baby/new school etc tiredness I'm losing patience with DS2.

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