gradual withdrawal - if you did it, how long did it take?

[tasmaniandevilchaser]

hi, for a while I could put dd down in her cot and walk out, but that turned out to be just a short phase. Now she has to twiddle my fingers until she goes to sleep and I think it affects her sleep (particularly naps) as when she comes into her 'brief awakening' between sleep cycles, she screams. I'm assuming it's because I was there when she went to sleep and then I'm gone.

So, if you did the 'gradual withdrawal' sleep 'training' - how long did it take? I need to have a realistic idea of what I need to put into it.

Thanks

I tried this with DS, following the No Cry Sleep Solution. I can honestly say I found it long, drawn-out and useless - teething/ illness/ all manner of normal events interrupted the flow and sent me back weeks . Perhaps what you're after is not so tedious as the NCSS? It might have worked for someone else here, hope you can get some more positive opinions.

What else have you tried? And how old is your DD?

hi there, thanks Mrs MH, just as I suspected! She's almost 9 mths. Don't think that I have the patience for this gradual withdrawal.

Tried to do it (following the Millpond book) to stop rocking her to sleep, and got stuck at the 'cuddle in cot' stage for 10 nights, when she cried for about 1 hr 40 mins for each of those 10 nights. Then we gave up! She started to roll over and suck her fingers and gets herself to sleep that way now, but with the other hand she has to twiddle my fingers and this finger twiddling is not good at 4am, especially as the moment I think she's asleep and try to leave the bedroom, she leaps up and shrieks. Sometimes she leaves it til I have just got back under my nice, warm, comfy duvet...

It also seems as though she has had separation anxiety for a while as well, which makes me think that this is not a good time for any sleep training....

anyone else?

I did it, and it took about 4 months I think ! It was 2 years ago... we had to go trhough periods of cuddling him to sleep in his cot, sitting next to cot laying him back down after he decided bouncing around was a GREAT idea , and worse case scenario I used to bend over and feed him to sleep out of desperation

It was the method that I was most comfortable with though, and TBH I was more than happy to sit and read my book while DS dropped off, so I probably dragged it out longer than needed

The other thing for us was the teeth issue, that was the main sleep disrupter, so I didn't feel that leaving him to CIO was a fair option if he was in pain due to teeth.

HTH !

Tasmanian, I did my own slight variaton on the Baby Whisperer approach at 9m, and it WORKED! Like a dream! And then he started teething a week later - I sympathise with puffy.

However you might be luckier with teething than puffy and I were, so I'll tell you what I did (and if I recall correctly it took 3 nights to fully break the cycle). By the way, I am vehemently against CIO and have never wanted to try it, so this (CC) worked much better for my values as well as for my DS:

1. Do usual bedtime routine stuff, lay baby in bed
2. If upset, stroke and comfort until settled
3. Leave. Your baby will most likely start crying as soon as you leave the room. Wait for 5 minutes.
4. Go back and repeat from step 2 (I'm pretty sure that I used to pick him up and cuddle him as well).
5. Leave. She'll cry again - leave her for 5 minutes again.
6. Repeat until she eventually falls asleep. Be prepared - as the evening wears on she may become more and more overwhelmed with crying as she's so frustrated by the fact that you're not staying with her all the time - it's really hard, but just persist and know that by returning regularly you are comforting her, and LOTS. And she will soon learn (in a matter of days!) that this is the new way for her to learn to sleep, so it won't frustrate her so much.

You'll find on the first night it takes ages and it will be really tough (so steel yourself!!), then it should take less time on night 2, minimal time on night 3 and then by night 4 you should have cracked it. IME the key ingredient for success was my willpower!

I know some people increase the length of time they leave the child; I always found that 5 minute blocks were ideal for both of us as I couldn't bear the idea of leaving my young baby crying for longer than that; and he still learned to fall asleep without me having to increase the length of time.

Also if you're breastfeeding it's worth asking yourself whether she might be crying more because she can smell your milk, etc etc (not sure what you can do about that - put silver foil over your tits and wear your DP's jumper? ).

Good luck!