8 week old just will not sleep - day and night

[arolf]

As I write this, he's finally nodded off on my lap - but he has been up since 1.45 am, cluster feeding and chattering. Yesterday he cluster fed from 3 pm until 11.30 pm, having had a 1 hour nap from 1-2 - before that, he'd been up since 9 am. He slept for 3-4 hours at a stretch between 4 and 5 weeks old, after we introduced a 'top up' bottle of EBM last thing at night. However, since 5 weeks, he's slept a maximum of 3 hours in total a night - mostly in 1 2 hour stretch, then lots of 10 min catnaps. During the day he will only sleep in his pushchair or the sling (but he's over 13 lbs, so we avoid the sling as he's killing my back) for maybe an hour at a time. Other than that, he's catnapping. This means I can't catch up on my sleep, so I'm getting increasingly exhausted and weepy.

We have tried introducing a vague routine, using a dummy, my DP taking him to sleep in a different room (thinking that the smell of my milk is waking him), swaddling (this just infuriates him and results in furious screaming until the swaddling is removed - he even did that in the hospital after he was born when a midwife swaddled him expertly!), a dummy, me cutting out all caffiene from my diet (dangerous on 2 hrs sleep!), formula 'top up'. What else can we do? Oh, and we're co-sleeping, as the cot appears to be a magical baby waking device

Also, we calculated that he's sleeping 6-8 hours in every 24. Is that normal? He's very alert, and chatters to us when he's not feeding - he doesn't scream/cry a huge amount, and when he does, the only way to stop him is feeding him anyway.

he's just woken up again. 15 minutes sleep...

No answers but feel for you. At around 8 weeks I put my daughter in her own room and she suddenly started sleeping a lot better. We had been waking each other up before then.

I also was told that a baby can only stay awake for a maximum of 2 hours, so I made sure she was in a position to sleep when that time came around, whether I was out with her in a pram, or warm and snuggly in a blanket. Since then she has sleep better during the day and is quite a happy thing.

He could well be overtired from not napping in the day and therefore not sleeping as well at night. Does he sleep if you go for a drive in teh car or a walk in the buggy? If so, then I would do that for a few days during the daytime at around nap time, just to get him into a routine.

It is really hard understanding sleep cues. If he rubs his eyes, bobs his head, looks away from people, then he is probably tired. At that point I would try putting him down for a sleep. My DS slept marvelously in his buggy in the kitchen with the radio on low next to him until he was about 4 mths, when he suddenly needed to sleep in his cot (noisy DD kept waking him).

Have you tried white noise too? Hairdrier, fan, radio static and so on.

A few things for you to try there. Unfortunately there is no one thing (DD was an awful sleeper but eventually we found what worked for her. I;ve been luckier with DS, or maybe more experienced).

HTH

This happened to me with my first. Once I put him down, 20 mins later, he would be awake, almost without fail. We bought a swing, fisher price aqua something or other, worked a treat during the day to extend naps.

At night, the relentless waking for comfort feeds and lengthy feeds meant by 12 weeks I was so exhausted I started to hallucinate. I laid down on my side and fell a sleep with baby suckling away. I have co-slept ever since and my husband and I love going to bed with our 3 year old!!!

With next baby, I am going to try a dummy and a rocking crib before I resort to co-sleeping again if things are the same.

I feel for you and know it is so distressing. No one around you will fully appreciate how difficult your situation is.

I hope you find a resolution.

thanks for the suggestions - we thought he might be getting overtired too, so for a few days last week I was walking him around in the pram for 5 hours in total each day, trying to get him to sleep. he'd mostly sleep after 30 minutes walking, then wake up after 20-30 minutes sleep. this after he'd been up for a while, fed for an hour then nappy changed - so no reason to be unhappy. the maximum nap he has managed is 3 2 hr naps through the day (once!). However, it just made the night sleeping even worse (1 hour, then that was it for the night).

I think i'll look into a swing - he occasionally nods off in his bouncy chair after a lot of effort from DP! it's keeping him asleep that's the challenge though!

white noise - he calms down when i dry my hair, if he's been excitable beforehand - but not enough to sleep, and not everytime. he loves to watch the washing machine, but won't sleep if it's on.

I do try and put him down when he 'looks' tired, but again, he'll do 20 mins max before his eyes snap open and he's looking for food.

thank god i can type one handed whilst he feeds

My LO is also 8 weeks old and won't sleep during the day, although she is good at night. We were given a Fisher Price Aquarium Swing by a friends who didn't need it anymore - it has been such a life saver! It literally hypnotises babies (not just mine, but my friends LO who is a horrible sleeper). It is the best baby thing we have and I can't do without it! Good luck with getting your LO to sleep better

I feel for you.. DD1 was just like this, and I couldn't believe she could physically sleep so little. And whenever she fell asleep in her pram, she would wake up the minute we stopped, even to cross the road. We spent lots of money on a swing which sent her to sleep once (though she did like it awake when she was a bit older - so try and borrow, don't buy). The only way she really slept consistently during the day was in a sling or carrier, so we ended up with lots of these and carried her round the house and out and about. Then we took it in turns to sleep at night while the other one sat and watched mindless TV and cuddled her. (She wouldn't sleep in our bed unless actually cuddled, which didn't seem safe - not how you're supposed to co-sleep.) It gradually got better (and then worse again, and then better etc, etc - still not a brilliant sleeper aged 4). So no real advice apart from the sling. But I wanted to post when I saw your thread because it was the hardest, most draining period of my life and I would be reduced to tears by tales of friends whose babies slept while they did the housework or read or had a nice bath - or slept, indeed. Some babies just Do Not Sleep, and if you are unlucky enough to have one, you just have to make everyone be nice to you and ignore anyone who has a sleepy baby and don't compare - it's the only way to stay sane.