12mo Still night waking...any ideas?

[whatdoyouallthink]

My daughter has just turned one and for the last few weeks hsa been a nightmare at night.

We have got into bad habits and she only goes down in her cot once she is fully asleep which is normally after her last bottle in the evening.

She has always woke up on odd nights and would have a feed to settle back down.

The last few weeks she is waking as I go to bed around 10 or 11 pm. She is screaming and sometimes she isnt even fully awake. I try to give her a cuddle but she fights back against it by hitting and scratching. Then after almost an hour of this wakes up fully and decides she wants to play. If I try to give her a bottle (which I am aware she shouldnt be having!) she will throw it around till eventually giving in and falling back to sleep. This is normally around 1am. I put her back into her cot and then around 4 or 5 am she is up again!

She is then waking up my other two dc who have to do a full day at school and then they wont go back to sleep either.

She is shattered come 9am and will sleep for an hour but then thats it. Somedays she will sleep for longer but then 6.30/7pm she is ready to go down to bed and is just walking around screaming so this is the time she is having her last bottle.

I tried leaving a light on for her in case it was something to do with the dark and moved her into her own room as thought maybe it was me disturbing her. I am seperated from their dad and even thought it maybe something to do with her staying somewhere else everyother weekend but he has said she isnt like this when with him.

I am walking around knackered most of the time and never know if I am going to get a full nights sleep or not!! I havent spoken to my HV yet thought I would ask here first.

Hi what, I have a dd 13 mnths and have had a very hard time with her sleep, and she still wakes a number of times in the night although things are improving.

I have tried numerous approaches, but what has really helped has been to try and understand what's driving her waking (also bad sleep habits in my case); come up with a plan to tackle it and then to take it slowly one step at a time.

The biggest thing you need to get right is her going to sleep in her cot, so that she doesn't wake up and wonder where she is, and also so that she doesn't associate going to sleep with your arms! Just a thought, but part of the fighting you have at her first night waking may be that she's tired, but doesn't actually know how to go back to sleep by herself.

Anyway, with my dd (who also used to fall asleep in my arms) I did it very incrementally. I put a stool right next to her cot, and then rocked her to sleep until she was nearly asleep, then put her in her cot with my hands still on her and "shhhh" and stayed until she's asleep. This is still a work in progress and is taking time but I have now got to the point when I put her in her cot wide awake and dont' pat or shh, but just stay next to her until she falls asleep. My ultimate goal is to be able to leave the room while she's still falling asleep but we have some way to go before that!

I have to say that as a result there has been a massive improvement in both the number and length of her wakenings. I can now settle her quickly (under 5 secs) in her cot with a quick dummy, blankie, pat, shhhh - and also she resettles herself a few times in the night.

Sorry so long, HTH!

Thanks for the advice. Its so easy to fall into bad habits with bedtime routines. I think mine was more that my H left when she was only 6 weeks old so was easier to let her be cuddled to sleep or in bed with me then be up all night with a screaming baby when there was two other children to sort out too.

I put her in her cot on her own the other night with the mobile on and a bottle and she did settle down on her own but then the other dc woke her up! She used to just settle back to sleep as long as she had a bottle to fall asleep on - although this isnt ideal either. It did mean that I could give her a bottle and go back to sleep myself!

I will try your tips, thanks for taking the time to reply!

Sounds like you've had a really tough time, especially being on your own.

Probably not helpful, but it sounds like she is very overtired and may be finding it hard to settle into a deep sleep? She might also be frustrated that she doesn't know how to get herself back off to sleep without a bottle, but isn't really hungry so doesn't really want a bottle.

If you can do the things Rycie suggested to help her be okay with falling asleep in her cot without the bottle, that will probably really help. But can you also do anything to help her get a bit more day sleep just to get caught up? Buggy, car, etc. I'm sure it's really hard to do this with two other DCs! I would also go for a crazy early bedtime to try to avoid her getting to that screamy overtired stage before bedtime. Even as early as 5:30 for a few days.

Can you bundle your other two off for a few days to help her get a bit more rested?!

My HV suggested watering down the nightime milk to get rid of the middle of the night feeds. It was really good advice. We did it over about a week until we ended up with water. We also gave him water to drink in the day. He now goes off to sleep with a bottle of plain water and finds it in the night if he needs something to soothe him. At the most I will get up and insert bottle to continue!

Molars? They're a brute, long before you can see them start to bulge.