What to do about 11 month old up for hour and half in middle of night, every night....???

[sjcmum]

Help! I'm exhausted and nearly at breaking point.

DD2 has always been a bad sleeper. She's 11 months old and still feeds at least twice a night. Once is normally a quick feed and back down in 20 mins or so, but the second usually takes an hour and a half to get her back to sleep. Sometimes she just wants to play, other times she just wants to be cuddled, sometimes desperate to get back to sleep. You can guarantee though that whatever, she won't go back into her cot until fully asleep. Has never really learnt to settle herself, and even if just fallen asleep will often wake again as soon as I try to put her down, clinging on to my arms and really crying until I pick her up again.

Have tried suggestions in 'no cry sleep solution' - but trouble is I simply can't get her past phase 1 (ie putting her down when sleepy but still awake) HV has suggested controlled crying and DH is keen..... should we give it a go - or is there a less stressful alternative??? Need to do something as back at work in a week and there is no way my brain is going to function on this little sleep.......

I'm afraid a bit of crying is unavoidable.

My DS is going through a v similar phase, it's bloody horrible isn't it. Has a feed 1ish maybe, fine.

Then wakes at 3.30 or 4.30 and up til maybe 5am. I am soooo tired, pissed off, and by then I've been awake so long I'm hungry.

All I do is feed him, keep swapping sides, and try to bore him back to sleep frankly. He leaps up and stands in the cot crying if he's still a tiny bit awake.

If I'm feeling v fed up and a bit cross I take him downstairs, plop him in the travel cot and make myself a cup of tea.

And mutter it's only a phase ...

DD had a long spell of this too and it does stop, I think for DS it may be partly because he is teething - still no teeth through yet, and because he is very nearly walking. He is 11mo too.

moaningminnie - your poor thing - sounds very similar. I too normally eventually manage to knock her out with a bit more feeding - though I have to be careful as she can bite me if she doesn't really want it!!

My DD1 was a bad sleeper too - but never this bad. I think by this age we even had the occasional 12 hour night!!!! The longest DD2 ever goes is about 5 hours if we're really lucky..... think part of the problem may be trying to keep her reasonably quiet so stressed DH and 3 year old don't wake up if at possible - so I've probably jumped far too quickly to get to her, and she is used to it.

....Just wondering if we do decide to do the controlled crying thing - I'm guessing it makes sense to try to give up feeding her in the night at the same time - would be pointless to go through the whole thing, and then potentially have to try to wean her off night feeds another time...

Thanks for support..... it's only a phase, it's only a phase...

I have thought about trying to night wean but I'm back to work in Jan and am guessing that he will be feeding more in the night as we will be apart in the day so it seemed a bit pointless. (only going back 3 days a week)

DD was such an awful sleeper that although this part is rough, overall DS has been a much better sleeper/easier baby so I am still thankful it's not as bad as she was! Yes she was that bad
It will stop I'm sure.
One day

I'm not considering controlled crying because I don't really agree with it myself, and I would rather wait it out.

Have you read the No cry sleep solution? I found it useful the first time round. In some ways its a bit like CBT IMO, more looking at the issue another way instead of feeling you have to fix it.

Would still love to fix it though!

This happened to me with DS (now 5) at the same age. In retrospect and after alot of redaing, it was because he was overtired. The tiredness builds up, then they wake more frequently etc and for longer periods.(he still is susceptible).

Put them to bed early - as early as you can, and for longer than you think. It use to take about a week to catch up. You will still get wake-ups but they will get shorter. Once they are not overtired, they will not wake - so the self-settling is not a problem.

Like you I was there - sitting of rhours at a time in DS' room. Once I cracked the answer- he would sleep through more reliably.

Jazzandh - that could well be an issue with DS, he only has 2 naps and sometimes they are interrupted by DD, or needing to go out/do stuff. Trying some earlier nights can't hurt anyway, thanks for the suggestion.

He went down a bit earlier tonight so will see.

Jazzandh - thanks for that idea - sounds worth a try. Having said that, we put her to bed early last night and she woke up again at 9.15 laughing, smiling and really wanting to play! She's had a constant cold for the last couple of weeks so have managed to avoid doing Controlled crying yet..... back to work from today too - so she's hopefully going to get worn out at nursery which might make her sleep a bit more....