Help - my 12 week old likes to nap in my arms not his bed!

[Poppet45]

So I fear we've been doing everything 'wrong' and I wondered if any sleepy time experts could help get us back on track so my wee lad can get some decent sleep.

My lovely baby boy is fed to sleep at night.... I know, I know but he's a fab sleeper overnight, and can go from 10pm to 7-10am so I'll worry about that next and focus on naps first .

It began while I was laid up in bed recovering from a slightly traumatic birth and haemorrhage my hubby and his mum got the wee fella used to falling asleep in their arms in the living room.
I hadn't ever wanted him to get used to this, but I was pretty out of it during evenings so I really can't blame them for doing their best to settle him.

The problem is he's now not so wee - 91st percentile for weight... but he'll only nap during the daytime and evenings if he sleeps on us...

The result is I get almost nothing done during the day and me and DH have no evenings together - always eating one handed TV virtually inaudible etc etc, constantly hushing each other!!

Plus I feel that my DS isn't getting enough quality daytime sleep, would like him to be somewhere more restful and comfortable than on one of us, and don't like him sleeping in such a busy environment... he tends to be wide awake from 8pm to 10ish and I'm sure that's because of where he's sleeping

He'll sleep for 30 minute stints in his pushchair out and about, but at home as soon as I try to transfer him from my arms to his baby hammock or moses basket, he'll either wake up half way down or within five minutes of being put to bed and get really upset. Not just grisly but really upset.

Argh... can anyone help us get back on track. He's a lovely laidback little soul apart from this and he deserves a good rest!

We had the same thing - it's hard. To get DD used to napping in her cot we began by using the Baby Whisperer pick-up put-down at around 4 months. She was a real cat-napper, never more than half an hour at a time even when lying on us, and it took about two months before she would take any longer than that in the cot. Now she goes for at least 45 minutes, and anything up to 1.5 hrs, twice a day (she's 7,5 mo). She also started napping (and going down at night) much better when she adopted a favourite cuddly toy at around 6 months - I couldn't believe the difference. Your ds is probably a bit too young for that, but it might be useful for him in a few weeks time.

And actually I still miss her napping on me even though it sometimes seemed like a pain at the time . She still rarely takes her late-afternoon nap in the cot, though, that one's still a pushchair nap, if she takes it at all.

Yep I thought he might be a bit young for the old put down pick up routine, but I think we will try that at just after four months if noone has any other suggestions. Well I guess if it's just a matter of time then we'll sit it out. Still it's so hard, he's just woke up after just 30 minutes, and still sounding exhausted, on my hubby.... I really feel like we're failing to give him enough sleep...

It's tough to see them get so tired during the day. I must admit that between around 14 and 18 weeks dd did seem a bit less herself after weeks of sleep deficit, but she soon caught up, and, as the wise ladies of MN say, 'this too shall pass' (and much quicker than you think). Good luck. x

I just went with it tbh til it was physically impossible, and then things just changed as they had to. Try not to anticipate problems in the future, just enjoy the here and now and deal with it then! It goes in a flash. I wouldn't worry about TV or talking though - babies can sleep through it...

Ds (arm-sleeper, now co-sleeper though sleeps alone for evening) is a far better sleeper than dd - who got some sort of half-hearted sleep training, and I always tried to leave awake etc. You could just go with the flow and enjoy the cuddles...

If you do want to settle him differently, perhaps try lying next to him and letting him fall asleep there? Think how you would soothe a small child to sleep (cradling head, smoothing brow, hand on chest) - with lots of ssshing. Or you could try with baby falling asleep on boob sat up in bed/lying down and shifting her over. Keep your hand on her head and one on her chest going sssshhhhh. Sometimes works .

Also bedtime routine works well - ds piggybacked dd's (who we didn't do til 6mths) even though he then went to sleep on me downstairs.

Good luck!

Thanks all... Adair the transfer from feeding him sitting up in bed is how I get him to his baby hammock at nights. Only problem is he's getting to be too big for it (so much for it lasting til 7 months pah!) and we've had to start swaddling him again so he doesn't wake himself up kicking the sides. For naps I don't normally feed him to sleep but maybe I should think about it? I was very roughly following the old EASY routine so am loathe to do it but if it gets him more sleep it's tempting.
We have a cot coming next week and wanted a fresh start all round. Maybe I'll try the soothing on the bed routine there.... blimey I just don't know what to do for the best.

More sleep, more sleep - whatever is easiest!

Had loads of lovely (broken) sleep with dd, as she just slept next to me, and we'd sleep in til 9.30am or so. Loads of lovely (broken) sleep with bfing, co-sleeping ds until he started waking at 5am for the day . I do sleep better with my babies next to me though (have a hammock that I never got on with ).

Your cot will give you the opportunity for a new routine anyway. I am rubbish at settling in a cot - but used to put arms through bars (and do the old sshhh).

If you just have the one child - use their nap time to chill out next to them, so sleep or read a book. It's a lovely excuse to not do anything

And for about two weeks, I used to do AESY ...