OK I give in. I have got to get this child out of my bed

[EyeballsintheSky]

DD is nearly 22 months. We have co-slept since she was 6 months and mostly I didn't mind, quite liked it really. But she's very needy at night. Will only sleep right on top of me or cuddled up next to me. As well as this she has to stroke my skin. Fine, but that involves pinching (bloody hard sometimes!), pulling hair
and scratching. It's not deliberate, it's her comfort thing but obviously it's not good for me.

If I wriggle away she wakes up immediately and she will not entertain the idea of being put to bed not quite asleep or whatever. It's me or no sleep.

This child has never slept a single night in her own room, cot was in with us. Where the hell do I start to get her to sleep on her own? Yet again I had no sleep last night and I've had enough.

TIA

Thanks everyone. There's some great advice here which I will digest and add to my plan We go home on Sunday and I'm not sure that's a good night to start as I work Mon-Weds. Think Weds night might be the time to start, giving me 5 days head start before work again (I hate writing work as it implies that I or anyone else who is at home with children doesn't work but YKWIM )

We have one of those light shows (which might make me cry as I haven't used it since she was a couple of months old which I will dig out and I will fill the room with her beloved 'babies' and Igglepiggle and co. I have talk radio on quietly through the night anyway (bad mummy but one of the advantages of DH not being there!) so I will put a radio on quietly in her room.

Oh and I also will warn the neighbours that there -will-- may be prolonged screaming for the next few weeks. Oh dear...

Thanks again, such a wealth of knowledge and experience here

Eyeballs - we have the same problem. I am going to adopt a gradual approach as cold turkey has not worked for us. I'm going to insist that she start the night in her own room, then let her get in with us when she wakes for the first few nights, then I'll leave her until the second time she wakes, etc etc (I hope this is clear, I have had a bad morning).

I tried cold turkey but I found the whole thing really upsetting . But I am 32 weeks pg and I can't have her already terrible sleep disturbed by a newborn.

God speed to you! Do what feels right. And fwiw, we coslept for all the same reasons as you did.

Abra1d: For me, co-sleeping was just easier because the children woke every hour or so. Actually getting out of bed, going to them, sitting with them for ten minutes, falling asleep sitting in their bed etc. was a hassle.

They are still both nightmare sleepers - now 4 and 7 - in their own room together but night-times are just bonkers, they are up all the time. I went in to crying last night and they were both half-asleep on the floor! WTF! It's weird because they both go to sleep so well, we've never had any problems with the evenings, always lovely reading and dim lights and everyone falls asleep nicely with kisses.

It's just all bloody night that they have issues. I think they just don't sleep 'properly' - I was a sleep-walker myself.

ANYWAY in the early days, it was easier to roll over and cuddle than to get up, stomp into their room etc. etc.

PyrotechnicToadstool:
I'm very sorry that you found me critical and condescending.

sorry to scarper but my experience is very silmilar to mp's

I didn't even attempt to get dd in her own bed until she was about 4 , then she had some understanding

co-sleeping isn't some new fad, btw, it's been going on since the beginning of time

I am marking my place in this thread and watching with interest. We have co slept since DS was 6 months old and outgrew his moses basket and didn't like it in his cot despite it being in our room and right next to our bed! We used to be able to let him settle in our bed and just put him in his and he'd sleep there till 2am ish and then would come in with us but he wised up to that and as soon as we put him in his cot would cry and cry until we let him back in our bed.

He is now 15 months and he is now starting to keep me awake at night with his constant fidgeting so we are starting to think about getting him to sleep in his own bed. Not sure when we are going to tackle this...not just yet anyway!

I'm just about to tackle this too. DS is 16 months, and has never slept through once, his longest sleep has been about 5-6 hours, and that very occasionally.

He goes down ok in his cot (after doing CC with him some months ago), but usually wakes up at least once before I go to bed, when he comes in with me. He has shared a room with me since birth. DP in other room. We are finally moving house next week, and he'll have his own bedroom. I am desperate for my space back and a full night's sleep!

We had this problem but cured it

I can sound all smug about it now, but I have been through the hell of very little sleep and a wriggly toddler in my bed who loves holding on to my ears to sleep.

Our sleep history was that DS would always go to bed in his own room but wake up any time between 9 and 11pm, and no amount of settling would work, so the failproof option of shoving him in our bed meant we got some sleep.

Well when he turned two and a little bit I decided enough was enough. We had tried various methods which involved a lot of crying, which was no good to his older sister.

The method we tried that worked was me buying a £10 air bed from Asda and putting that on the floor in his room. When he woke I went in and gave him a cuddle, and then would set up my camp bed. Sleeping next to him where he could see me and I would put my hand through the cot bars and hold his hand until he fell asleep. It took 8 days of me doing this before he slept all night. The air bed was not the most comfy option, but it worked!

We thought the transition to a bed would be another stumblng block but it has been great, no problems - he never gets out!

he now wakes at around 6.20am and I get up around 6.50 (ok more like 7) and I bring him into our bed then for a cuddle and he usually sleeps again, twiddling my ear!!

There is no answer, but you have to have a plan of what you intend to do - small baby steps over a few weeks to set the scene for them, then it doesnt come as too much of a change to them! Good luck!

Just jotting this down so that when I come to approach this later this week I have some reminder of how hellish it is in case i'm tempted to think sod it, I'll leave her in here with me...

I have had a good hour's screaming from her as I had the cheek to need the loo and had to untangle myself. She woke up of course and would not stop screaming. I had enough and ignored her for a while but she screamed blue murder. I also put her in a different bed (we're away from home and so have a camp bed next to our bed for overspill). Nothing doing. I actually had to leave the room before I lost it.

She's asleep again now, on me of course but it's got to the stage where I can hardly bear her touching me. Sounds awful doesn't it? This has to be sorted.

Oh Eyeballs, your poor thing. I know what you mean. I'm not quite at the stage you are, but I will be soon if I don't get it sorted. Lots of good advice on here so far. I'm going to think about what my plan of action is going to be this week, and then stick to it.

lol at andirobobo's ds having to hold her ears to get to sleep

Oh goodness that would be the very very last straw! It's bad enough when it's arms and bosoms (yes, bosoms ) but ears?

Ok, Eyeballs i can tell you what i did, not sure if it follows the rules or not

DD was 22 mo when ds was born, i had tried getting her in her bed before that but def upped it a gear when he was here (not straight away i think we finally got tough when he was 5 mo and the started to share a room)

I did it gradually, i would sit on her bed, then on the floor, then tidying up in a far corner, then start popping 'to the loo' then started folding the laundry outside the bedroon door

It was slow progress and as she was in a bed there were lots of getting out, with a million reasons, we did also give her an 'iteddy' which she used to listen to nursery rhymes on, but she doesnt use it much now, normally the batteries are flat

Now i have reached a stage where they both get chucked in bed after stories and and i go downstairs with the occassional shout of 'Go to sleep' up the stairs it is quite good

But if the are poorly the both immediately chuck dh out of bed and sleep with me, and it pays a reminder of just how cold/uncomfortable and squirmy bed sharing can be even if they do smell nice when falling asleep

eyeballs - i hope you have better luck than us , we have co-slept with dd (3.10) since she was a baby as she has atopic eczema & has to be cuddling me to get to sleep , problem is she wakes up on the hour all through the night (and still does) wanting to cuddle , have now gotten to the stage that she lies on my bed with me cuddling until she nods off then i carry her into her own bedroom , then she sleeps until 11pm ish (so 3 hours) then wakes up & climbs into our bed for the rest of the night .
i have tried the "super nanny approach" = no talking just putting her back into her bed but after 22 nights of her screaming blue murder i couldn't take it anymore & gave in & let her back into our bed . hope things go better for you with your dd x

The Foosa and Eyeballs - the ears thing is starting to grate now - I dont even know what pleasure he gets from it, but my niece strokes her mums neck! My nephew (on DH side of family) was also an ear tugger, so it must be a family thing - wierdos!!!

Good luck with it all Eyeballs - just keep chipping away and you will get there in the end!

I think one part of the solution is for her to have a toy she can cuddle at night as opposed to you....take her to a shop and let her choose (somewhere like the Disney store with loads to choose from). you then need to position the toy with you at night then between you and gradually move her from you to it - then you can start getting her in her own bed.

Oh God, am I temporarily going to have to sleep with Igglepiggle?

She has toys she's semi-attached to but not in a taking to bed sort of way. Worth a shot though.