Is rapid return the toddler equivalent of controlled crying?

[Pinkjenny]

I am thoroughly depressed after perusing my posting history and looking at the number of times I have promised myself I will resolve dd's sleep ishoos.

She is now 2.5yo, I am 30 weeks pg, and the time has been forced upon me come for her to enter the previously unchartered territory of her Own. Bedroom.

I have decorated it for her, finishing touches to be done this weekend, and then Sunday is the night it's all going to happen. However, similarly with all the times I've asked before and controlled crying was offered to me as the best option, now everyone is suggesting rapid return. Surely rapid return is as stressful as controlled crying?

I'm not going to get through this without lots of tears, am I? Mine, probably.

I am very, very sad, actually that I won't be able to see her little face snuggled up next to me on my pillow, and that no one will ask me for a cuddle at 3am.

Tell me I have to do this. Tell me it's best for everyone.

Thanks SOH

Crying in a bittersweet way, not in a "SOH has traumatised me" way!!

Off to another pointless midwife appt - will check in later, or FB me, SOH.

hey Pinkjenny I just hada thought - re all the bribery stuff - when ds1 was 3 and he had been dry at night for months but wanted pull up pants (we called them sleeping pants) as a security, we went shopping and bought some big boys pyjamas, that big boys of 3 didn't need to wear sleeping pants with. so far (4 months down the line) he's been dry every night.

we recently found out about being scared of the dark as he wanted to come downstairs, so we went off on a shopping trip so he could chose a nightlight for big boys - it's a hideous pirate thing that spins around but at the moment (4 nights in) he's still loving it. that and the bribery of a sticker before bed, a sticker in the morning if he's stayed in his own room and if he does every night, he gets to go for pizza for lunch on saturday (which is an outing we normally do with some of his friends anyway!)

good luck, and even though i'm not pg with hormones SOH post had me blubbing, in a good way!

Oh man up the lot of you.

PJ, fb and tell me all about your plans. Whatever night you are doing it, I'll have my phone with me the whole time so you can text for moral support. That night and however many nights it takes. I can text DH too if you like though I can't promise I won't type rude words at him.

Have FB'd you SOH.

I never thought I'd ever hear you telling anyone to man up when it comes to sleep! Maybe I'm even softer than you are!

Sorry to hijack, but what is Rapid Return?

I tried rapid return and it wasn't working at all. Incredibly stressful and getting worse each night. I was at a complete loss for what to do. He would start crying 'not bed!' as soon as I cleared he dinner table, and sobbed all through his bath and story time. Ds was so hysterical each night that he couldn't speak to tell me what was wrong.
I couldn't believe it took me nearly a week to ask him calmly (in the middle of the day) why he didn't want to go to bed.
"mamie's in a cot" was his reply. We put him in a travel cot and he went to bed calmly with no problems.
I know it sounds simple, but there might be something you dd really wants, and it might not necessarily be getting in bed with you.
I could be completely wrong, but just though I'd throw it out there.

Gracie - I guess I'll find out this weekend? She is a very, very tactile child though, she always has been. I suspect she just likes having us close.

IMove - rapid return

No, not man up about the sleep, I'm such a softie where sleep is concerned.

It's the crying.

Pinkjenny - thanks for the link
Only come across this on suppernanny before,

I guess what I'm trying to say is that rapid return is worth a shot if you think it's just to break a habit (ie sleeping with mom) but don't overlook the basics like I did.

So ashamed when I realised after 5 days of trauma that I hadn't actually asked him what the problem was

haven't read whole thread, and you need to do what works for you

BUT

we co-slept with a 2.3yr old and a newborn v very happily. Think it helped reassure her tbh. She happily went to own bed 6mths or so later, comes in occasionally (now just got to get 15mth old out...). Though the boy is a much better sleeper than she ever was/is (hope? )!

Try to look at it as 'what am I trying to teach' not breaking old habits though if you want to change. So trying to teach that going in sleep in own bed is a big girl, next step and she is safe. How are you going to reassure her/teach her this? (eg books/decorating /nightlight /games)

Good luck (and congrats! )

Please can someone explain the rapid return method, my 19 month old has recently been really poorly with a stomach virus and during his illness the only way I could settle him and get him back to sleep when he woke in the night was to bring him into our bed, now he is better he constantly wants to sleep in our bed rather than his own, I really need to break this habit do you think the rapid return is something to try ？