2yr old waking for night time bottles!

Original poster

Helenpad · 21/05/2003 11:54

Help.....I'm a sleep deprived full time working Mother of 2Dd's ( 6 & 2)and hoping that someone out there can share their pearls of wisdom with me..I admit I've caused the problem myself with "anything for an easy life" approach - but I don't know how to get out of it..
My 2.3yr Dd will not drink milk out of a cup only a bottle. She likes milk though as will eat it with breakfast cereals. I have let her have a full bottle before going to bed in the knowledge that she will go straight to sleep. Just lateley things have changed. Sometimes half an hour after settling down she demands more milk...and I'm sorry to say I've given in. She has started waking at 1.30am ( on the dot) every night, demanding more milk - initailly after approx 4oz's of milk off she goes until I have to wake her at 7am - anything for a quiet life. She is now waking more often demanding milk. She is so full in the morning she will not eat Breakfast....
My initial ideas after reading all the threads already published is to first go cold Turkey on the night time feeds, then reduce her amount/water down her night time bottle so that she is not so dependent on it, and then get rid of the bottle altogether - so simple eh?!! - but not for sleep deprived parents - can anybody out there spare me some of their time and experience?

OP posts:

edgarcat · 21/05/2003 11:54

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elliott · 21/05/2003 12:10

well, you've sorted out a plan for yourself, now all you need is a bit of encouragement to implement it!
You need to decide to do it and just go for it. Pick a weekend (or take a long weekend if you have any leave to spare) and enlist DH's support if possible. I would probably explain to dd that things are going to change (night time for sleeping etc etc) but keep interaction during the night to a minimum.
If you are consistent I doubt it will take long, and it will be so so worth it - sleep deprivation is pure torture. Best of luck

Original poster

Helenpad · 21/05/2003 12:53

Thanks for the messages - see how eager I am for advice i was checking the noticeboard an hour after I published.....

One question: Do I offer a cup of water at night or am I causing another problem?

OP posts:

elliott · 21/05/2003 13:24

I wouldn't, personally. You know that she is quite capable of going through the night without drinks, as she did before, so although she might decide that water isn't worth waking up for, she might not - then you'll just have to go through the same to stop that too.

aloha · 21/05/2003 13:29

Cold turkey, definitely. She's trying it on IMO (and why not?). I would explain that things are going to change and be tough. My 20month ds and fantastic sleeper has started waking at night due, I think, to a lot of teeth coming through - though he's very cheery when he sees me or dh in the night. He gets a brief cuddle with a spoonful of Calpol and then has to go back to bed. he cries for me to stay with him, but I'm not going to have him wake every night as he will then have a grumpy mummy and be sleep-deprived himself.

Mum2Toby · 21/05/2003 13:38

Helenpad - I have a 23mth ds who is just the same, although it's water he takes during the night. He will drink milk from a cup all day, but at bedtime he throws a fit if it's not in a bottle. Through the night he wakes periodically for a drink...... we watered the milk down until eventually it was only water, but that didn't stop him waking!! It also has to be in a bottle.

We both work fulltime and have to get up at 615am, so I'm with you on the 'anything for a quiet life' thing! My ds has never slept a night... well maybe the odd exception. Going cold turkey is fine if you don't have to go into work for a week! I don't get paid for my time off so we can't afford to do that.
It's a total nightmare and I sympathise with you.
Do try the watered down milk, it's the only thing that worked for me. In a few months time you will be able to leave a bottle of water by her bed, then she won't have to wake you. Fingers-crossed, that's what I'm hoping for.

edgarcat · 21/05/2003 13:40

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Mum2Toby · 21/05/2003 13:43

With my ds it's got absolutely nothing to do with thirst and everything to do with habit (which we created!), but I don't feel I have the mental strength to change that....
Do you Helenpad?

meanmum · 21/05/2003 14:28

I don't have the mental strength to change the bad habits I have created. I know I should, I know why I should and I know how I should but do you think I can.

I'm like Helenpad. I need the encouragement to just do it, or more importantly someone else to come and do it for me. Any takers out there.

Helenpad - I'm going to do the cold turkey, controlled crying routine next week as I am on leave all week. In theory this means I can catch up on sleep when I need to but I doubt that will happen in practice and I'll be just as tired as if I tried it when I was working. I'll let you know how I go at it but would love to hear how you manage too, if you do it.

Meid · 21/05/2003 14:33

Just wanted to say you are not alone. I am in a very similar situation with my DD (22 months). For the past few months she has been having a bottle of milk during the night (as well as at bedtime and before breakfast). She has always woken at some point in the night and joined us in the bed but wanting milk is a relatively new thing.
I am not convinced it is just habit. She guzzles the milk down and sometimes asks for another. I guess if we stopped giving it to her she would eventually make up for it with her food and drink during the day and it would even itself out.
I really don't want to go cold turkey on her, though, as I think she would just stay awake screaming until it is time to get up.
Mum2Toby I think that is such a good idea to gradually water it down. I am going to do this, starting tonight. Thank you.

aloha · 21/05/2003 14:41

meanmum, I think part of the problem is we assume things will be hard/prolonged/difficult and then act as if that is the truth, when it's nothing but an assumption. If you don't try, you won't know the truth. She might be OK with the change straightaway or in a couple of nights. You have nothing to lose by trying to change things, and everything (ie a good night's sleep) to gain. I finally got to grip with ds's sleep at 8months and the change was incredible - joyous! So I am now much stronger about not wanting to lose what we have, which is a jolly baby and a happy mummy.

aloha · 21/05/2003 14:44

Also, the milk is almost certainly contributing to the waking IMO. She's taking in calories and digesting when she should be resting. Also her bladder will be fuller.

Mum2Toby · 21/05/2003 15:14

Meid - watering down worked amazingly fast! Some children (most!) eventually give up completely coz they gradually lose the taste of the creamy milk, but my ds seems to like water almost as much! He wakes up nice and hungry for his breakfast and he has lovely clear skin!

AND it's easier to give the bottle a rinse out in the morning instead of finding a bottle with souring milk in it in the morning. Yuk!

Mum2Toby · 21/05/2003 15:16

Also, I sympathise Meanmum. We tried controlled crying for 3 hours each over 2 nights!! HELL is too weak a word! DS cried until he was almost sick both nights. I just couldn't bear it.
I'm sure it would've got better over time, but we only had the weekend to do it.

Good luck - I;m really keen to hear how you get on. It might inspire me to try again.

Meid · 21/05/2003 15:31

Aloha you are so right. We put off controlled crying for months out of fear of our DD crying for hours. The first night she was asleep in 20 minutes. We kicked ourselves for not having tried it sooner.

Original poster

Helenpad · 22/05/2003 09:49

Thanks for all your messages.....it is so good to know that I'm not alone...
I believe that Dd will settle down as she has always been a good sleeper ( except for a while when she started nursery and I went back to work)
Mum2Toby - I don't know if I have the mental strength to sort this out!! - all I know is that I can't cope if this continues, and heaven forbids gets worse!!!! - so I've got to try...

Lat night was a bit of a fluke...I explained to her that things were going to stop and that she couldn't have any milk in the night. (Dd2 is desperate to be a "big girl" like Dd1 - and go to school, do ballet etc...so I told her that big girls don't get milk in the night - Dd2 not impressed although not a big objection!). Usual routine: Bath,gave her watered down bottle while had a story, toilet/teeth and in to bed. half an hour later she demanded more milk - I explained that it had all gone and she could have some in a big girl cup in the morning - few objections but went off to sleep after about 15mins - For some flukey reason she didn't wake on the dot of 1.30am!!!....first time in about 3 weeks. I know that this is just a one off but it has given me a good nights seeep and allowed me to build up my strength - Like Mum2Toby I cannot have any time off work at the moment ( not that I'm much use when I'm there!!!).
I'm just going to perservere and abolish the middle of the night bottle, gradually weaken her bedtime bottle and then abolish it altogether...
Thanks Elliott - you're right No water in the night....
Meanmum: Good luck next week - let me know how you get on. When it's the middle of the night and Dd/Ds is roaring away at leat you know I'll be in the same boat. I did CC with Dd1 and in 2 nights the problem had gone away ( she was a lot younger though and not so determined) so I know that it works. I was a lot tougher on Dd1 - but I find 2 Dd's and working very hard, hence my "anything for a quiet life" - I sympathise with Mum2Tom - remember there is no correct way to do things all of our "little angels" are unique and what suits one won't suit them all - if water in the night works for you then fine, keep on....
Meid: it sounds like Dd is hungry...it's a vicious circle though isn't it - the more milk they guzzle the less food they eat...and so it carries on. Dd1 always drank loads of milk but always ate loads of food..Dd2 has a small appitite and she has 4 meals a day ( breakfast, lunch, tea( 4.30) and a carbohydrate based supper at 6pm) - this has helped her - you may want to try something similar....
Thanks for all your messages - I feel so much better to hearfrom you all

OP posts:

Original poster

Helenpad · 23/05/2003 09:33

hard night...You have to be tough for this CC lark - read a good book though while I was awake!!!

OP posts:

edgarcat · 23/05/2003 09:34

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Original poster

Helenpad · 25/05/2003 09:31

Hi edgarcat,
sorry not to reply sooner - only seem to have time for this when I'm at work!!!....
1.30 on the dot....and then on and off until about4ish...better Friday night and last night only up once......long weekend so may just recover enough B4 work on Tuesday...fingers crossed
How's life with you?

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Original poster

Helenpad · 28/05/2003 10:03

Dd did it - 2 nights all through!!.
Thanks to Mumsnetters for all your advice and support

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aloha · 28/05/2003 10:34

Hooray! Well done. It's so worth it, isn't it.

Original poster

Helenpad · 28/05/2003 11:54

Yes..It's hard at the time though..
Meanmum was going to do CC this week - if she picks this up how is she getting on???

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