These very early mornings - how do you spend them?

[Broms]

I have decided there is nothing I can do to stop these early mornings - 4.15am to 5am every day - it has been going on for well over a year and its getting worse - am beyone despair but I would love to know how others in the same boat spend their early mornings - I often feel so fed up I just drink tea on the sofa and stick the tv on and half heartedly play with ds worrying how I am going to get through the day with him. I've got to get out of the rut as its getting me really down - dh never here to help with mornings so its not like I ever get a break from them either - maybe one a week at the weekends - please help need motivation to change.

Have you tried dropping all naps in the day? Hard at first, but does make them really tired and therefore sleep longer.

Catch 22 - today up at 4.20am so no way he can get through til 7pmish - have tried cutting it right down - did 40 mins lunchtime nap for a week but nothing changed - he seems to be able to sleep for about 9.5 hours at a time but now never beyond 5am (last 3 months). On the other side of the fence people are telling me to leave him to sleep as long as he likes at lunchtime as he needs to catch up. I just do't know but I do know that whatever we do doesn't work!

It might be worth trying again for a week and put him to bed slightly earlier - 6.30pm as he will be shattered by then. I gave my dd quiet time in the afternoon so she had a rest but not a sleep!
Other things we tried when having sleep issues were, Badger balm, a night light, sticker/reward chart ( poss yours too young for that but worth a try?)Oh and a lavender air freshener! Turn off in the night, but leave it on in the day!
Random I know! Good luck with it all It will get better xx

Going to cut nap to 45 mins each day for a week and see how we get on with that. If i can get him to sleep past 5am in my book that is now a bonus. Whats Badger Balm?! Think bit too little for sticker chart but lavender sounds a good idea. I have just got to have a plan each day and stick to it. Thanks for your ideas - really appreciate it - DH now away all week til Friday so I really have to get a plan and stick to it otherwise going to go potty.

I was going to suggest putting him to bed earlier too. It's bizarre but it sometimes helps them sleep better and longer. Worth a try ....worked with my DD.

(if only my own DS was so easy too with his 2 hourly nightwakings)

Earlywakings in this house are also dealt with by Cbeebies for kids, tea and Mnet for mummy

Broms, at 4.20!! That's just cruel!

I would like to kind of second what lilysam said before me: I found with v highly strung DS1 that the more he slept during the day, the better/longer he slept at night. Strange, but true..

Hope things will improve for you v v soon.

Last night I did put him down earlier as he only had 45 mins in the day - he fell asleep straight away at 6.45 and then woke at 4.20am! I should not complain as he mainly goes out like a light as he's shattered - its just somehow finding a balance which I seemed to have failed to have done in the last year. Thinking of doing wake to sleep this week while dh is away - so thought I would set alarm for 3.30am and see how I get on. He had 90 mins at lunchtime but fell asleep at 11.30 so we have been on the go since 1pm today - will do bed at 7pm - set alarm at 3.30am and see how we get on. Thanks for all the support everyone.

Good luck - will pray for sleep for us all!

Let us know how you get on. My DS is going to bed earlier tonight too....

I feel for you Broms.

Mine has been waking between 3 and 5 since March.

We have run out of ideas and like you say, it is affecting all aspects of family life.

If you find a magic cure let me know!

I'm generally to be found slowly rocking to and fro in the corner, sobbing quietly.

madnotmad - its unbelievable the effect it has isn't it - dh and I argue - its our 2nd wedding anniversairy tomorrow and I am sure he's thrilled to be out of the country - I keep saying to myself "it is what it is and get on with it" but unless you are woken at the time EVERY bloody morning its hard to understand. I am truly so bored by 8am after a year of trying to be positive each day.

if anything at all works will be letting you know!

Our boys have been horribly early wakers. We had over a year with each waking at 4.15am or so. Things are gradually getting better (3.4 and 5.9) but 5.30 is still familiar to us.

We bought a huge blanket and have a large stash of DVDs and things recorded on the freeview box. Child-proofed room until old enough to be let out. DS1 was fine, and just cuddled in with the parent on the sofa. DS2 always up for fun, mischief or playing and rarely for a sitting down hug. So we pushed the sofa in front of the door so he couldn't get out and made sure there was a varying selection or toys to play with while the parent rested or napped.

Still, the other morning I'd made cakes with DS2, made and tidied up his and my breakfast and done DS1's lunch well before seven .

Hey Broms - badger balm is and I quote ----Badger Sleep Balm is the ideal, 100% natural remedy to send you off into a blissful sleep. The heady scent of lavender relaxes the mind and bergamot refreshes, balances emotions and instils composure. Just rub a little on the temples, face, neck or the pulse points and prepare to drift off!

You can buy it in Sainsburys or online Amazon do it.
Good luck with your plan, it took us a year to smooth out our sleep troubles. It is hard but if it helps - you are not alone!

broms i see on another thread your ds was up at 3.20am soyou never got the chance to try the wake to sleep. I've never tried it cos my kids have woken randomly...

I haven't had a chance to read all your posts but wondered if you'd got any help from your health visitor or anything? DD went through a horrible phase of being awake for 3 solid hours for 4 months when she was just over one ( and i was pg again). We were getting referred to a sleep clinic but then managed to fix her problem (she was napping too early in the day so the afternoon stretch was making her overtired,although she went to bed great, was horrendous in the middle of the night). Just a thought anyway, I thought i'd be laughed at when i mentioned her sleep issues to te HV but got loads of support i never expected.

Lilysam - my friend also suggested hv last night - going to buzz them and see if they can help at all - you are right not an avenue I had thought about asking.

On the wake to sleep - do they have to be waking at exactly the same time each morning for it to work?

Broms, not real advice but just lots and lots of sympathy here. DD is now 3.5 and is MUCH better now she is at pre-school for 5 mornings a week with lots of activities in the afternoons. The dark mornings also help because she is now old enough to understand that it is still night time. she wakes about 5ish at the moment but she climbs into bed with us and we go back to sleep.

You DS is probably too young for this but before 6AM I basically tell her it is still night time and if she wants to be awake that is fine but there will be no lights on, no talking and no TV. The minute she tries to talk she is back in her room. For the last week she has gone back to sleep until about 6.30. Although this wouldn't have worked a year ago because she would have just screamed at me until I gave in.

I did find an earlier bedtime helped. She also got better when she cut out her naps but as you say, when they have been up since 4AM there is no way you can do no naps.

I know you say that your DS is really active but the other thing that helped a little bit was a run around the park after tea at about 5.30. Someone on here once said I needed to exercise her like a labrador which I did .

I do honestly think that some children just need less sleep. I also think the toddler years when they have so much energy but not enough ability to get rid of it all throughout the day combined with an inability to listen to reason is the absolute pits (if that all makes sense).

Anyway, sorry for the essay. To answer your original question, when DD was getting up really early I used to snuggle on the sofa and doze whilst she watched TV/DVD. It feels like your life is passing your by - especially in the winter. Its AWFUL and I really feel for you. I used to think I should do some yoga or make food for the freezer but at that time you just have no inclination at all.

I hope your wake to sleep works - I was never brave enough to try it.

Hugs to you Broms. We're routinely up for the day between 3.00 and 5.15 so I feel your pain. This has been going on for 5 months now and showing no signs of getting any better. I don't know why, but every night I am secretly hopeful that DS will sleep 'til 6.00 and then every early morning my hopes are dashed.

Usually, I will feed him with no lights on just in case that will be the morning that he goes back to sleep! Once it becomes obvious that it's not going to happen we go downstairs and I sit on the sofa in a half asleep state while DS happily plays with his toys. If I am feeling energetic I may do a couple of chores so when DH finally gets up and cheerily asks "so what have you been doing since 3 am?" I have something nice to say to him!

We had this a lot with DS for ages and did the same as several people have described here - parent in blanket on the sofa, TV and toys - but then read somewhere that the sleep cycle hasn't really ended if people are not hungry when they get up, so they must be getting up for another reason, like it's fun / more time with working parents or something.

So at 4.30 or 5, we would let DS get up and come downstairs and offer breakfast or back to bed. We would not play with him or turn the TV on or get any toys out that weren't already within his reach. We would just keep offering him the opportunity to get dressed and have breakfast.

This has helped a lot, we're now up at about 6.15 which is much easier, and he does indeed need breakfast as soon as he gets up. He is allowed toys or DVDs and attention after he has had his breakfast.

I think it took about a week to see some improvement and a month to be consistently better, and DS was about 2.4 at the time.

I put on some irresistible music and dance with baby. He v v lively and engaging at dawn and mostly charms me into a good mood.

Duedec2 - admire your enthusiasm!

Pasturesnew - that is a really good idea offering just breakfast and getting dressed or back to bed - wondering if DS a bit little still (21 months) to fully understand but could work towards it for sure. Maybe wwhen I put him in a bed - it could be all change then - thinking of doing that around 2.

Stillinmy pj's - 3am thats awful for you. What chores have you done this morning?!

I had some limited success today - he woke at 4.18 as normal - would not lie down when I said still night time go back to sleep so I did end up bringing him in with me and eventually he went back to sleep til 5.30am!

We are in an early phase again - after a week or so of past 6am (yey, woohoo!!) we are back to 4 or 5 something.

we only come downstairs at 6, cbeebies on, i huddle on the sofa MNetting!

Though can't stand new cbeebies scheduling so we've got some BabyFirst channel on now which is more relaxing i must say

sympathies though & everything crossed for darker mornings....

Sorry everyone - quick question on this wake to sleep - does his normal wake time have to be consistent for it to work? - ds has done 4.20am for about a week now on the trot so I am right in thinking 3.20am is when I sent the alarm?

Morning - i think (from what i remember) the wake to sleep has to be around the same time. Its based on the idea that the child is waking out of habit and you are trying to break that habit.

How was llast night - dare i ask?

I've been putting DS down before 6.30pm which i thought was stupidly early but he's sleeping better and longer. Worth a try?? (Reading what you've said before perhaps his afternoon is too long - waking from nap at 1pm and then collapsing asleep at bedtime - i know it's hard keeping them going - could you sneek in a morning nap, even in pram or car, to push the afternoon one back a bit too??) Just some ideas

Did you have any luck with the HV?

Morning lilysam - not too bad - one night waking then up at 4.20 but I brought him in with me and he fell asleep again at 4.50am til 5.30am so at least I know he can sleep some more. Going to do wake to sleep then tomorrow as 4.20 is now a habit. Did 6.30pm bed one night and the same 4.20am. Just nervous on really early bedtime as 9.5 hours seems to be his max that he can sleep.

Thanks for the suggestions - nap in the morning apparently would make him wake even earlier so going to avoid that! midday is about middle of the day for ds so will go with that for a bit.

Must call HV today!

Glad your night was better too. There is hope!