Ok, here's how ideal day for DS now looks:
7.30-8ish - big breakfast, followed by activity with lots of running around and energy burning.
12 - lunch, hopefully activities of morning will have worked up good appetite
1 - nap for 1.25-1.5 hours. Wake DS up by 3pm absolute latest, DS not happy, bribe with promise of exciting afternoon activity.
2.30/3ish - snack, then more running around and vigorous exercise (DS sounding like a red setter or something)
5/5.30ish - tea time - something filling, carb-y (mashed potato or something)
5.45/6ish - up to DS room, quiet time with books low key activities.
6.30 - start running bath, more quiet play, into bath 6.45 ish.
7 - into DS's room, pyjamas, milk, low sugar snack - moon biscuits or something - then 2 books. LOTS of reminding DS what happens next, nearly time to sleep, going in cot soon. Last book with DS lying down in cot. Lights out, maybe a story in the dark. Leave him.
Long and faffy bedtime routine (and much earlier than we had been doing) but prior to doing this DS hadn't wound down enough and was yodelling for sometimes an hour before falling asleep 8.30-9. Then up 5.30 was just not enough sleep. This routine seems to send him off straight away, or 30 mins max.
Oh, and the other thing is no TV at any time of day, as I read it can reduce melatonin (sleep hormone) levels by 30%.
Obviously all kids are different, but after much research and tinkering here and there, this finally worked. Although it could be a fluke! Pray for me tonight/tomorrow morning.
And I'm anticipating DS dropping the daytime nap at some point soon, but on balance I'd rather he got a full nights' sleep than napped. Although I'll really miss this lovely break
Hope you find something that works for you and your DS x