how do u get yr baby to nap when u have yr 2.8 yr old with u?

[nzbabies]

I am finding this the hardest thing! V. stressful. Not sure how to do it. Other problem is that I don't want to leave baby to cry (she is 4 months) so I breast-feed/rock/ push in pushchair. The breast-feeding and rocking can take up to an hour which of course means my 2.8 yr old DS gets fed up and wants me. He has just dropped his daysleep too.
Pushing in pushchair is okay except that she can be woken up easily, so her sleeps are short.
I have looked at Gina Ford and wished I had a baby I could just put down to sleep at the right times and therefore it would only take 10 mins or whatever and therefore not bother my DS. But I find it hard to stick to times as I need to take my DS out to playgroups etc. Plus she is now used to being helped to sleep so I'm not sure I can get her going to sleep without that help without her crying. Or can I?!
Any ideas? (sorry - this is long!)

Lots (& lots & lots) of walking in pushchair.
TBH, DC4 was such a cat-napper that he never slept more than 20 min. in pushchair until he was about 10m old, what a hassle that was.

I have a nearly 15 week old, a 2.2 year old, and a 4.8 year old. Generally my LO needs a nap every 1.5 to 2 hours, so if he starts getting grisly around this time, i either go out for a walk with the older DCs, put him in a sling and do chores, or follow the baby whisperer winddown routine and settle him in the cot. This generally only takes 10-15 mins. You close the curtains, change nappy, swaddle, sit for a few minutes, use a dummy if needed, and put them down when they are drowsy, and shush them, pat them if they cry. Sometimes he doesn't like the sitting, so i pace about the room or up/down stairs until his eyes get heavy (usually only a couple of minutes as I guess he's ready for sleep). It might take a while for your LO to get used to this, but the more you do it, the more they recognise the sleepy signs and prepare for a nap. If i time it right, i can usually leave him to fall asleep, but might have to pop back up if his dummy comes out. The problem i have is getting him to sleep for longer than 30-45 mins .

Oh, and while i am upstairs for 10-15 mins, i usually leave the DCs with the TV on, or make sure they are happy playing.

thanks - i might try the shush-pat a bit more (although she won't take a dummy) and also look in the no cry sleep solution for tips. I think she has got used to breast-feeding to sleep now so maybe I need to gently ease her off doing that first.

Cbeebies... (for older child, rather than for baby)

Can't you just go with it and NEVER put baby down for a nap. They are usually good at regulating their own sleep patterns (not necessarily at convenient times though) and I always found that it was far less stressful and hard work just to let them nap as and when they do. One minute they'll be kicking their baby gym, the next they'll be asleep for a while, or they'll sleep in the pram/car when I go out, but I don't go out so they will sleep iyswim.

I must admit that I do find it odd putting babies down for naps. You never did that to them when they were in utero. They really can manage it themselves!

Angrywasp- some babies may be able to fall asleep wherever and whenever, but some get grumpy, and cry/scream. I've had 3 babies and none have just fallen asleep under the baby gym although i have seen other babies do it!

If they are trained out of falling asleep naturally on the go as they do in the womb, by artificually introducing 'lonely abandonmentnap time' then perhaps they might have problems. It is parents often wrong 'iterpretations' of when they think their babies are tired, or should be tired according to certain books, or simply just WILL their babies to be tired so they can get on with chores that sets the scene for all kinds of baby-mother frustrations.

Go with the flow....it's by far the easiest, flexible method. Your baby will get used to it very quickly.

In some cases that's bollocks, though. DS I tried having in a sling and he'd nap for a maximum of 20 minutes and then be blatantly overtired by late afternoon/evening. Simiarly if left to his own devices entirely. Eventually I started jiggling him to sleep and then transferring to a swing. He actually napped for a reasonable time then and was much happier. DD on the other was quite capable of setting her own schedule and napping as she waned withot gettig overtired. Different babies, different needs, without mistraining them at all.

In some cases that's bollocks, though. DS I tried having in a sling and he'd nap for a maximum of 20 minutes and then be blatantly overtired by late afternoon/evening. Simiarly if left to his own devices entirely. Eventually I started jiggling him to sleep and then transferring to a swing. He actually napped for a reasonable time then and was much happier. DD on the other was quite capable of setting her own schedule and napping as she waned withot gettig overtired. Different babies, different needs, without mistraining them at all.

Angrywasp, I disagree with you that nap time is abandonment time - maybe, if it involved leaving the room as they protest and letting them cry to sleep - but if it involves you being with them until they fall asleep, or even if it involves you leaving them half-asleep or drowsy as they just drift off to sleep (no crying involved) - then how is that abandonment? Then, if as soon as they wake, you rush to greet them and they are really happy and refreshed - how is that abandonment? Ideally, I would have my baby in a sling, on me permanently, falling asleep whenever she naturally did - which she did until recently when my back started playing up - but for me it isn't an option to do that all the time now. Your babies obviously managed well the way you went with the flow, and thats great - but I don't think all babies can fall asleep so easily once they are past newborn age, and they get very overtired and unhappy. I go with my intuition with my babies and if it felt wrong to put her down for a nap I wouldn't do it. As soon as she cries, I pick her up. I think naps are good and necessary for their health and for most babies if you didn't do something to help them nap, they wouldn't get enough of the sleep they need.

I tried the going with the flow approach but it just didn't work. With a toddler or two around, I found that my baby would be almost drifting off to sleep or would be sleeping happily only to be disturbed by the other DCs which just isn't fair. This time round i wanted to encourage my baby to sleep in lots of different situations so i could have the flexibility, but in reality he screamed in the pushchair, found it difficult to sleep at playgroup, and would only sleep on me or in the sling. I therefore encouraged cot sleep so that I could do things with the other DCs when he was asleep, and so he could have a nice undisturbed sleep.

Yeah, thats how its been for me pulapula. Well, it has started to work for me. I don't really know how! Because I haven't done anything more than make more of a routine towards putting her into her bed, and doing the same thing every time, and getting her in there based on the time she has been awake and if she seems tired - anyway, I rock her until she is drowsy and then put her down and sing to her, and a few times now she has just gone to sleep! Happy! Sometimes, I think when she is overtired, she will cry when I put her down, so then I just rock her again until she gets limp, then try again, and that is usually it. Am hoping the time I need to do it in will get shorter so that I don't need to leave DS for too long.

nzbabies- glad it's working for you. Now my DS2 is quite often relieved when i take him upstairs and close the curtains as he is so wanting a rest. Sometimes he cries too if he is overtired but i just hold him a little longer too. Or sometimes he just wants to go straight down. It's just trial and error sometimes.

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