18wk old hates going to sleep.....

[TomThumbMum]

I know this has been written about in a full thread but its not so much the night wakings that are a problem for us....
DS is 18wks old, since his 16 wk injections he's like a different baby. Until that point I had a nice 3 hour-ish feeding routine, bed at 7pm, he self settled, wake at 10.30 for dream feed and he would go right back to sleep. After his injections he was really hot and just wanted to be cuddled, he cried alot and I rocked him to sleep, and again after the 10.30 feed and it has just disintegrated from there really. We are now at a state where he won't go for a nap unless being rocked or walked in his pram. I can't leave him to cry, it draws me to tears in seconds. We carry on with the day as normal but feeding on demand now, about every 2-3 hours and i dread the next nap time. We have a bedtime routine but ds still screams when I try to put him down. I started putting him down asleep but he will only last 35mins and then comletely wakes himself up howling. I've tried picking up, soothing him and putting back down but I ended up bringing him back downstairs and rocking him until I went to bed. For the last 4 nights we've been co-sleeping but I feel this is just sending me backwards, I'm knackered and he feeds all night and stays latched on permanently. If I take him off he stirs and cries.
I ended up in tears last night, my friend has just said controlled crying is the only way - I know I couldn't do this. DH is becoming increasingly frsutrated as I am reading so many books and getting nowhere. Has anyone any advice, am I ruining ds by rocking him to sleep?
Should I pat and sssh through all the crying (i've never managed to let him get past a minute of crying)?
Could this be a phase, or should I be doing all I can to revert to his previous routine?
My instinct tells me to go with this, rock, hug, do what I can to soothe him. I just don't feel very confident about what I'm doing as it was all going so well...

It's just a phase, I think. DD3 is 18 weeks & similar. Was sleeping 10.30 - 07.45 straight, semi-co-sleeping (in own cot but attached to bed with side down). Now only sleeping properly if beside me. Am clinging on to the fact that this is DD3, and DDs 1&2 sleep in their own beds at night, so we somehow got through it!

i'm sure there willbe helpful posts for you soon TTMum but I do think you are making a bit of a "rod for your own back" with the rocking. We didn't call it "controlled crying" in my day but I certainly recall letting them cry for a short time to see if they went to sleep and usually they did if I remember rightly.

I'd go for trying to go back to your previous routine - and if you can't stand hearing your baby cry, why not stay out of earshot for a short time. I know that sounds really hard but it's worth a try because you are going to be a much better mum if you aren't entirely knackered all the time.

Important thing to remember - is he will grow out of this stage anyway - you can't really "spoil" a baby of this age.

Child rearing has changed a lot in the past 30 years when I was bringing up children but I do remember the crying (especially in the night) with crystal clarity. Trouble is next month you'lll be worrying about something else and that I'm afraid is the way it is - it's called being a mother!

You sound like a lovely mum and don't worry - this phase will pass..........honest.