Is it wrong to let my 13wo fall asleep at the breast?

[Madammoiselle]

I'm a new mum and completley clueless. My 13wo daughter always falls asleep at the breast both for her daytime naps (unless in the pram which does the job too) and at night. This has been working brilliantly and has been sleeping though from 7 weeks (up until this weekend anyway), but not sure if I should let this continue or start teaching her to fall asleep of her own accord before we reach the point of no return !

oh so many questions, re dummys, naps, why now waking in the night for an hour or 2, I wait with eager anticipation for the moment I start to feel just a teeny bit like I know what I'm doing rather than just winging it !

If you are happy and she is happy carry on {sounds like you are doing a fab job trusting your maternal instincts anyway, and these are the most valied pointers of all).

I completely agree with moondog - if it is working for both of you, carry on.

I was certainly feeding DS to sleep at 13 weeks but after a while (probably only at 6 months, I think) we moved on to him going into the cot awake (but drowsy after a feed).

I am so, so glad that I didn't try to force anything as we found our way in our own good time and it would have been disastrous if I had messed with what was working perfectly well.

Follow your instincts - you are doing brilliantly!

Hi Madammoiselle,

I would second that. If you've found something that works, then stick with it! It's far too early imo to be worrying about whether she will learn to settle herself and she almost certainly will in time. At your stage the only way I could get DD to nap was to walk endlessly round the park - every time I stopped the pram she woke up! But once she hit about 4.5 months, she started to learn to settle herself in the cot and by and large I can now put her down there for naps without too much trouble in the daytime. I still feed her to sleep at night though. If I ever try to put her down awake she screams and screams but I'm hopeful she wwill eventually get the hang of it, just like she did with the naps.

So don't worry, you are not making a rod for your own back. Your LO is still very very small and has plenty of time to learn to fall asleep of her own accord. And don't worry about feeling clueless - I think everyone does with their first. I certainly did and even though my LO is now 5 months old I still feel like I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing! It's quite normal.

Oh and on the waking up in the night, you may find this settles down of its own accord. Is your DD hungry when she wakes? It may well be the 3 month growth spurt. Sometimes they just go through these phases.

Hang on in there - and good luck x

With my DD I let her fall asleep on the breast, she woke frequently in the night until she was a year old (slept brillantly since). DS only 5 months old has never really let me feed him to sleep - he literally used to spit my nipple out and then fall asleep on his own - I put him down awake. He still wakes 2-4 times a night i.e. no difference despite him be able to settle himself, suck his thumb (I don't use dummies).

Some babies sleep others don't, doesn't matter what you do often. Carry on what works for you, you will probably find at some point feeding to sleep doesn't work then you move when its right for your child.

Don't forget at some point your child will sleep through the night eventually, that knowledge keeps me going!

Madannoiselle - well, you may claim to be cluless but your baby obviously thinks you rock! Actually you might be instinctive, accepting and brave. Which are very helpfull attributes when there is a baby about.

Sleeps, eats and cuddles. Sounds like a great way to spend 13weeks and you seem to have a good thing going.