Help! How do I reclaim my evenings?

[Daffodilly]

DS is almost 6 mths and since birth we've just kept him down with us in the evenings - intermittantly feeding (in the early days), napping in swing, playing on/off. Then he comes up to bed with me at 10PM for a big last feed and off to bed in his own cot.

Now he is down to a feed at 7PM and nothing until the 10PM one, so I have tried putting him down then at 7PM ish and he will sleep for 30 - 40 mins in his cot, but then wakes and hard to settle again. We end up bringing him back downstairs - I can't be bothered going up and down or spending hours in his room fighting to settle him.

I also have a DD 2.8 who goes to bed at 7 ish. He is gorgeous (obviously) and in some ways it is nice to have the one-to-one time with him. But I'd really quite like to reclaim my evenings now and quality time with MN DH!

Any advise on how I turn this around?

Consistency is the key for a bedtime routine so taking him downstairs when he wakes isn't helping him to learn to go back to sleep.

You may need to do some sort of sleep training as it sounds like he is having trouble resettling himself when he wakes up after 30-40 mins. Does he settle himself when you put him down or do you feed him to sleep? There are various sleep training methods from the harder (but quicker) controlled crying to the "nicer" (but takes longer) PUPD or shh-pat. Have you considered any of these?

Thanks for your reply Choc. Agree with consistency. I think I am just so tired by the evening that I just go with the "easy" option. We did combination of shh-pat and PUPD with DD when she was young - it was HARD work!

I wonder if we need to somehow cut his sleep in the day too? He is in living room with me now rocking in his chair and chatting/playing, so not very sleepy!

How much daytime sleep is he having? My DS was having 2.5-3 hours at this age. From what I have read good daytime sleep helps good night time sleep. We follow GF and she says max 3 hours at this age.

I know what you mean about the easy option but it is a short term fix and the longer ones take time but do pay off - I always think you need to work up the courage to go for the harder/longer term fix so if you're not ready then don't do it. I suggest do whatever is necessary for an easy life!

I am in almost exactly the same position, except with 9 mo DD

Do you have a bed time routine so he knows it's bedtime rather than a nap? We are on day two of this and it's not going well! I've more or less resigned myself to a few weeks of no evenings at all, as I think I'm going to have to stay up there to settle her then gradually withdraw. CC is not for me

He has about 3 hours daytime sleep. Routines are tricky as he has to fit around DD and her routine!

I guess I need to bite the bullet and get into doing a bedtime routine consistently and like you say resign myself to no evening for a while while we make that investment.

Gah - why can't he magically sleep 7-7 eh?