8mo DD, having chemo, advice about sleep - where do I go now?

[titferbrains]

DD diagnosed with cancerous tumour on kidney 3 wks ago. We were in hospital for a week and she kept to a reasonable pattern of 1030 dream feed and 3amish feed and then waking 7ish. Sometimes a 2nd feed at 5.30 ish but always went down pretty well.

WE put her down awake at 7.

Since we came home, her sleep is all over the place, and inthe last week she's been up for 2 hrs every night, usually from 2 or 3 till 5/5.30ish. She feeds at 2ish, then falls asleep in my arms, I put her down asleep, she wakes and cries, I pick her up, she calms down, put her down awake but calm, she stays quiet for abit then starts singing, then whinging, then crying. I feed her on and off for 2 hrs, I hold her, etc

She has just had her 3rd chemo treatment.

Any thoughts on anywhere I can go to talk to people with babies having chemo/long term illness and sleep issues? Potentially, she'll have chemo for another 3-6 months so I have no idea whether to look at usual advice for sleep problems at this age or to indulge her/give her all the boob and cuddles she needs because I don't know if she's feeling sick etc IYKWIM.

Very hard because she can go to sleep on her own but has got into this rhythm of staying awake for 2/3 hrs. Which is killing DH and I, as we cannot sleep as long as she is awake and whinging in bed with us or inher cot.

Any thoughts at all? Sorry for long post.

Chemo must be knocking the stuffing out of her, and of course she dosen't understand it.
I would indulge her cuddles and deal with sleep issues later. She needs the cuddles more.
Hope the treatment is a success

At 8 months I'd cuddle and feed mine to sleep anyway, and for much longer if they weren't feeling well. And love and cuddles is what all kids need if they're unwell. It's good for them.
Really hope it gets better for you all.

I'm with DentArthur. I'd be giving her what she wants/needs too.
My dd wasn't sick like your lo and she always fed to sleep and woke for feeds throughout the night which she got. I imagine your routine has been shot to bits and so has hers, so go with what she wants and think of reinstating the routine when she's well again. I know how tough it is to be sleep deprived, but she must be feeling pretty unwell atm and wont know why.

I hope everything goes well for you all.

Mine never had a routine really until they were over 12mths, so I'd agree that give her what she needs now, and worry about routines
when she is better.

This is exhausting for you though, so could you get some help from family and friends for the practical stuff - cleaning/shopping/cooking, etc, or maybe pay someone to help a few hours a day so you can catch up on you sleep and have a bit of time for yourself.

You must be emotionally drained as well as tired, but things will get better.

Good luck

I agree with the others - just do whatever it takes to keep her calm and happy, and preferably asleep! Don't worry about creating 'bad habits' or all that 'rod for your own back' stuff - plenty of time for that later.

it must be exhausting for you though, so try and have an early night or catch up on sleep in the day if you can.

Wishing you all the best

titfer, can't imagine what you are going through and hope your little one gets better soon.
A friend of the family has a baby with cancer and they have been given a great deal of spuport by CLIC Sargent, which is a charity that cares for families with children with cancer. Their website is www.clicsargent.org.uk. Obviously, I can't vouch for them personally, but have heard that their work is quite amazing. I hope that they can help you.
Good luck.

Yes, I would do what feels good now and worry about later later. She can't tell you how she's feeling with words so I would cuddle and feed on demand and just react to her in that particular moment rather than worry about routine etc.

I hope you have lots of support yourself? There is a wonderful charity - cancer counselling trust who will speak to you on the phone. They really are fantastic. Best of luck to you and your family x

thanks, have been sent info from clic and spoken to one of their staff, but wasn't sure he understood what I needed. Will persevere.

Thanks for link wolf, will look into that.

nights are extremely difficult and trying even tho I'm offering as much comfort as I can. Will plod on.

It must be exhausting for you and your dh, he sounds lovely too (saw your dupe thread)