should I continue to let DD fall asleep in my arms??

[poppeto]

Hi, need some advice...My DD is 20weeks old and over the last week or so has suddenly decided that she doesn't want to settle at night. We usually try to start putting her to bed at around 7. She's normally pretty tired by then, so goes down fairly easily, but the problems usually start about 45 minutes later when she wakes up screaming and won't stop until I pick her up and rock her back to sleep. After this, she doesn't seem to be able to stay asleep at all and she wakes every 10-20 minutes crying.

I find it really hard to hear her crying, and I also don't want my whole evening taken up with trying (and failing) to get her to stay asleep, so over the last few nights I've just taken her out of her crib and let her fall asleep in my arms. I keep a hold of her for about 30 minutes or so until I'm sure she is in a sound sleep, then put her back down. This seems to work fine, but I'm starting to worry that I'm making a rod for my own back (as my mum would say!!)

I know my DD is teething, so I presume that is what is making her so unsettled at night, so should I just go with it at the moment and let her fall alseep with me and hope that eventually she'll go back to staying alseep once she's in bed? or is she getting to an age where I should be trying to get her to settle herself?

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.

I'd say let her get on with it for now. She obviously needs you a bit more at the moment, but it won't last forever.

Is she staying asleep in her cot after you hold her? If so, it sounds worth it - you put in 30 mins of holding for a good night's sleep for everyone!

At some point, you could try things like patting her to sleep while she lies in her cot or sitting in her room while she drops off but I wouldn't worry about it too much for now.

For the teething, you could always try one of the powders before bed. They are supposed to be calming, so might help her to drop off and stay asleep.

thanks Hensmum. the holding her thing has worked the last few nights, but not tonight unfotunately. I'm currently typing with one hand while she dozes in my other arm, after having been put down and woken up three times already. my parents were round tonight and my mum is convinced it's because she's not on solids yet, but i'm trying hard to get to 6 months if i can. guess i'll see in a few weeks if that is what's causing it.

what powders do you get for teething? I've just been using bonjela and giving her a bit of calpol when i think things are really bad.

I'm not sure solids is the answer. If she was hungry she wouldn't be falling asleep in your arms. Hold off if your instincts tell you too.

We used to let DD fall asleep on us and then sneak her into bed, and then at about the same age what you describe started to happen. So instead we would put her down awake and sort of place our hands on her and shush her whilst she fell asleep (and then sneak out). It took a while at first, and then would only take a few mins unless she was over tired. Now she goes down awake and 9 times out of ten she falls asleep by herself (she is 11 months). This was not a technique we read in a book, just something DP came up with. I should say as well that we do a bedtime routine bath, massage, etc.

Good luck, given time she may suprise you with what she is capable of.

Just to clarify, either me or DP would be doing the placing of hands and shushing, not both of us together!

Ashtons and Parsons or Boots own teething powders. You'll find them with the Dentinox etc in Boots.