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Am I just being bloody minded about this?

10 replies

chelseamorning · 25/05/2009 21:37

My 2.6 DS gave up his dummy about 5 weeks ago. He was generally only having it for naps. He was biting them through and so I said that when he chewed the last one, it would have to be thrown away and that would be it. He seemed to accept this and actually threw the last one away himself.

Over the first week, he gradually stopped asking for his dummy so we thought we were on the right track. However, 5 weeks later and he's still having problems settling at night. It can take him 2-3 hours to get to sleep. He's now getting out of bed once we've settled him and trying to use all the tricks in the book to get us back up there. He didn't used to do this when he had his dummy.

Also, he often wakes up a few times during the night which is leaving both of us grouchy and constantly tired. I've restricted his lunch time nap to only 30 mins but that doesn't seem to help. I've tried cutting it out completely but that just made him grumpy all afternoon and didn't help him to settle any quicker at night either.

I know that he's finding it really difficult to get off to sleep as he used to make a special sleepy noise (a cross between a yodel and a Jimmy Saville impression!) when he sucked his dummy. Because he now doesn't have a dummy, he gets upset and says 'I can't make the noise, mummy!' as if the sleepy noise itself is as much of a comfort as the dummy.

So, am I being bloody minded about his dummy? Should I just give it back to him? I feel really sorry for him as he loves his sleep and I feel like I've created the problem for him. Five weeks is a long time and I would have expected him to settle without his dummy by now.

I'd really appreciate your help/advice.

OP posts:
Tommy · 25/05/2009 21:39

I would give it back to him but I am a very lazy parent - anything for a quiet life

chelseamorning · 25/05/2009 21:47

I want to do the right thing for him without creating another problem in the future. I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Tommy · 25/05/2009 21:59

I can clearly remember throwing my own dummy away on my 4th birthday. I then started sucking my thumb and had to wear a dental brace because of it.

My nephew threw his out on his 4th birthday (because his Aunty Tommy had ) but he didn't suck his thumb. I don't thin there's a rule - I honestly think that some babies and toddlers are sucky and need it to sleep. Dummies are safe and clean (unlike a lot of thumbs)

Hassled · 25/05/2009 22:02

I'd give it back to him. There are bigger things to fret about. My rule with DS1 was "only in bed, never downstairs" and he had it till he was ridiculously old - about 4, but really, does it matter?

seaside72 · 25/05/2009 22:20

Ohh - this makes me very scared! my ds is 16 months and loves his dummy for sleeping. I am DREADING this stage and am full of empthy for you. I am trying to institute the only having it upstairs rule but am too lax so far. Bless your DS with his little sounds - my ds does something very similar - it is very Jimmy Saville too!

I have been reading up on the subject and one book recommends that you LO has another item he is attached to that he associates with sleep - toy/blanky etc. My ds has a muslin as well as his dummy so am hoping that keeping the muslin will lessen the blow?? Does your DS have something like this - if not maybe you could try and introduce something along those lines? I am prob talking a load of twaddle as I have no experience yet so apologies.

TBH I reckon after 5 weeks I would have given in and brought the dummy back - for selfish reasons! I was also a thumb sucker - till age 9 and it wrecked my teeth and my thumb nail - I think a dummy is preferable! Maybe bring it back and try again in a few months? I know everyone frowns on dummies but hey - happy sleeping baby is never to be undervalued imo!!

Again every sympathy. Good luck and keep us posted no doubt I will be posting a similar thread in a years time!

Hassled · 25/05/2009 22:32

I feel the need to tell you that DS1 is now 21 and at University. In the grand scheme of the many many things I've had cause to fret about over the years, when he gave up the dummy is a tiny weeny insignificant blip. It really DOESN'T MATTER. I wish I'd known then what I know now .

BecauseImWorthIt · 25/05/2009 22:52

Give it back to him. Restrict it to bedtime (not naps), and just relax about it all. You can guarantee that by the time he has his first girlfriend he won't be needing it!

chelseamorning · 26/05/2009 20:03

Thanks so much for your comments.

My reason for stopping the dummies isn't anything to do with his age, peer pressure or just because I think he should. I know how much he's attached to it. I try to take my cues from my DS.

My main reservation about buying some new dummies is that he just keeps biting through them. One dummy may only last a few days. That's the reason why I thought it had to come to an end. I'm concerned that he'll bite some off and swallow it - or worse, choke on it. Melodramatic, I know, but I'm his mother! Is this a good reason not to return them???

Yes, seaside72, he does have a bedtime soft toy which he's totally in love with. He also has two other bedtime toys which sit on the sidelines!

OP posts:
seaside72 · 26/05/2009 21:41

sorry I had totally overlooked the biting bit in your OP - that would worry me as well hopefully someone will post soon who has had that same problem (the joy of MN - there is always someone) Or maybe start a thread with biting dummy in title to attract them!

Good luck

chelseamorning · 28/05/2009 11:44

Thanks, seaside72. Yes, it is a worry. I'll see if someone else posts soon.

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