Help - dd suddenly won't go to sleep any more

[allatsea]

My dd is 14 mo. Until about 2 weeks ago she has settled herself to sleep for daytime naps and at night. She even did this ok when she had 4 teeth coming through, although she would wake during the night. Recently though, if I try and put dd down she's happy and content, rubbing her eyes etc until I carry her over to her cot at which point she starts sobbing and desperately clinging on to me. I've tried leaving her to cry for 5 minutes, but often she absolutely screaming before I leave her room. Any suggestions?

Is she REALLY tired? My ds went down to one sleep a day at about 14 months, so maybe your dd only needs one sleep now? You don't say what time you are putting her down for a nap, but perhaps you could leave it another 30 mins/1 hour, to wear her out a bit more.

Ya, good advice from Chinchilla. I found that my dd only needed one 2 hr nap in the middle of the day by that age. Periodically she would make a protest when I brought her to bed, varying in degrees of loudness and I found that if I just carried on as usual with complete consistency (providing she was well of course) she would cry for a little while and then accept fate and go to sleep. When I did let it slip a little and went back in to her, this only prolonged the process, so basically I just left her to it. It is hard, but this seemed to serve us both best in the end. One thing that does help me when this happens is to look at the clock when she starts crying and say to yourself, "okay, I will give it 10 minutes (or whatever) and if it is just as bad then we will do something different" This gives a time frame and often it doesn't last very long, though it can seem like years! Good luck.

I heard that babies only need one sleep a day starting from 1 year-18months.Maybe it's just the next stage which can be annoying when you've just got used to the last one.

Thanks for the advice, her daytime naps seems to have shifted from 10.30am to about 2pm, and then she sleeps for 1-11/2 hrs. I don't think that the problem at night is that she isn't tired since there was plenty of eye rubbing going on, and she tries to get comfortable to go to sleep on my lap, but then doesn't want to go into her cot. Last night, dd went in after 10 minutes and dd was asleep within 5 minutes, which makes me think that it's me (or clinginess) rather than not being tired. jennifersofia, we did the crying thing when she was much younger, so am prepared to do it again. You're right that going back seems to prolong the agony. I do find it hard that she's screaming before I've even left the room though

my ds is 17 months and has also just started protesting bedtimes, having previously been very happy to be settled down in his cot and for me to leave while he is awake. Now he won't even lie down, just reaches out for me and starts crying as I leave. I think he is just getting to the stage where he has discovered that he can resist sleep and would much rather stay up and play. I'm taking a hard line though - I just say 'goodnight, its time for sleep now' and leave the room. He is invariably asleep within 5 minutes. Personally I don't really see what other option there is - I'm certainly not going to start rocking him to sleep in my arms at this stage, and he'd probably only wake up when I put him down anyway. Just got to grit your teeth and hope the stage will pass soon. It'll probably pass sooner the more consistent you are that bedtime is just that. HTH.

thanks elliot, I think that dd feels the same way as your ds. I'll just have to get the ear plugs out tonight I think

Dont despair - I remember ds1 going through the same clingy phase and would be exhausted but fighting it so that he could hold my hand through the bars - we crept out when he was nearly asleep and then a few nights later he would be over it and his usual settled self again. he seemed to always do it on a tuesday which was the night before nursery but I felt the two couldn't be related at that age - I remember thinking he would always be like that but then it was all over.

We had just returned from a foreign holiday which had upset his routine a bit.

Hope it ends for you soon!

Dd (18 months) did this too a couple of months ago, went to sleep fine for naps and night then suddenly started crying. Rather than go for the crying approach, we went for the staying with her approach. yes it was a pain in the arse for about 6 weeks but, she is now happy to go to sleep by herself again.

During those 6 weeks, ish, we would stay in her room, not do anything, a few strokes maybe, but just be there. I don´t know why she needed that but she did. Now she feels fine again to do it by herself and I am really glad that we gave her that time. It was stressful granted, so frustrating when all you want to do is bung them in the cot and make a run for it(!) but it´s over now and in a nice way. Good luck whatever you decide!

My ds, still at 2 still does not like going to bed. He much prefers mum and dads bed, so who am i to have an opinion! However one thing he seems to enjoy is listening to story cassettes which i have done for a long time but more recently it has become the normal routine. We go to bed and choose a story, normally thomas tank and he chooses what he wants in bed with him. We do a silly dance to the music, blow kisses and i leave. I really have found that this works. He is in a bed so can get up, if he chooses to do so and plays i do not mind as long as he is not crying and screaming at the top of the stairs for attention .GOOD LUCK.

My dd (16mths) exactly the same. She will settle for my husband no probs but not me. Tried controlled crying but she was sick so rapped with guilt and did not try again.Even worse when on my own at bedtime and ds (2yrs 10mths) clingy too. Dd too used to settle herself but not now - can't think of any reason why or any trigger to change the behaviour. If we are all totally exhausted we don't struggle we all get into bed together and I transfer them once they are asleep. It does not seem to disturb their nighttime sleep (i.e. falling asleep in one place and waking up in another etc.). I don't know what the answer is it is just finding a solution that works for you so you don't struggle.Sometimes I sit on the floor at the side of her cot and she knows I'm there (she keeps looking up to check) until she goes to sleep.Hope you find a solution soon. I tend to think more now that I don't care if I have to even rock them to sleep (going against all the book advise etc) so long as they go to sleep, are happy and have a good night (preferably in their own beds - just so I can sleep comfortably and not on guard if they end up in with us).

wel, tried the controlled crying thing last night. She whimered/cried/screamed off and on for about 20 mins and then went to sleep. WE felt awful. This morning dd didn't give me a big hug straight away as normal and seemed to want dp to do everything for her instead. Lets hope it's easier tonight!

still not great. She goes down fine, then after about 20 mins she starts to cry. When I went back she just screamed when I tried to leave. Went back again and this time she didn't make a fuss when I left. I'm not sure what else to do

Hi there, I was just thinking how you were getting on as ds has thankfully been much better this week - we've been able to settle him down enough for him not to pop back up as we leave the room!
I'm sorry its tough for you but it does sound as though things are getting better (from your description anyway). Hope things soon get back to normal.