So, how did your children sleep last night (particularly interested in the 3 and unders)?

[suiledonn]

I just want to put into perspective how much of a problem we have. Our night went like this:

7.30 I fed dd2 (6 months) while dh got dd1 (3) ready for bed. DD2 fell asleep mid-feed and I put her in the pram.

7.50 Went to dd1 and lay with her had a chat and a story. Asleep by 8.

So far so good but here it all goes wrong.

10.00 ish dd1 wakes, wanders about looking for me. I settle her back to sleep in her own bed.

11.15 Dh and I get ready for bed. DD1 wakes again. DH goes to her while I am giving dd2 a dreamfeed. DD1 won't go back to sleep for dh, makes a fuss and wakes dd2.

Can't get dd2 back to sleep. DD1 refuses to get into her own bed and gets into bed with dh. I take dd2 out of the room try and settle her and dh and dd1 are supposed to be going to sleep.

DD1 will not settle without me, gets very upset.

In the meantime I get dd2 back to sleep in spare room but dd1 will not give up looking for me so I end up back in our bed with 2 dd's while dh heads off to the spare room again.

1.30 Both girls asleep. Then I'm woken on and off throughout the night to feed dd2 and with dd1 waking up for no reason.

I'm going insane with lack of sleep. I look and feel awful and relationship with dh is suffering. I have no clue what to do to sort this out. We have a good routine and dd1 goes down to bed easily but will not stay put and cannot sleep through the night at all. I keep letting dd2 sleep in with me for fear of waking dd1 and now she won't sleep in her cot.

We are crap at this sleep thing and I'm close to breaking point.

I have no advice but complete sympathy for your lack of sleep situation. DD is almost 4 months old & wakes an awful lot at night. I have just about learned to accept it which has helped me (probably couldn't do that if she was 3 though).

Bump for you. I hope it gets better soon!

You poor things - you must be shattered.

If I had the answer then I'd write a book, make millions and not have to go back to work at the end of this mat leave...

However, it strikes me that to make things better, they may need to get worse first, but if you're already shattered then what have you got to lose?

Could you try to sort out DD1 first? Keep returning her to bed in a firm but reassuring Supernanny-type way etc (or whatever the sleep books recommend - I got one from the library). Once she is happy and sleeping better then work on DD2. From what you've written it sounds as though DD1 needs reassurance from you, so could you look after her whilst DH looks after DD2?

We did this with DS1 (nearly 3) when the DTs (7 months) came home and he was waking in the night wanting me. We were exhausted (but would have been anyway because of the DTs night feeds) but he now seems happy and is sleeping in his own bed from 8 - 7.30, which takes a lot of the pressure off.

DD (3yrs) went to bed 7:15pm, 3 stories then lights off, woke 6:30am, chatting to her toys, we ignored her until 7:00am.

DS (29mths) also bed at 7:15pm, 3 stories then lights off, he cried for 5 minutes but we ignored him. Woke at 3:30am crying, went in, soothed him (without actually taking him out of cot) he then slept until 7:00am.

This is a pretty normal night, but we have always been pretty strict about bedtime. Once they're in bed we go in to comfort them if they wake upset but never allow them out of the bed, don't turn on the light and don't get into conversation, just reassure them, say still sleepy time, kiss night night and leave.

Your night sounded awful and if it's happening regularly you must be exhausted, don't think I'd be able to cope with such little sleep. I got strict with both of mine once they'd stopped night feeds at around 8mths, which I've been berated for on mumsnet in the past, but it worked and Im a much happier Mum for having some sleep .

Hope they sleep better soon, my fingers are crossed for you!

I won't bother telling you how well DD slept but will give you my support and hope it gets better soon for you. x

I'm really struggling to get my head round the fact that it IS possible to put children to bed for the night and have them stay there.

The night waking to feed dd2 doesn't bother me too much it is the constant waking of dd1 that is so hard. We got a prescription from her paediatrician to sedate her but the pharmacist talked me out of it.. I am starting to regret that decision now. The paed felt that because she has eczema since she was a baby that she never learned to sleep through and maybe she needed help to establish a pattern. The pharmacist was concerned at the strength of the drug so we decided to wait til we saw the paed again but I don't know how long more I can go on without a major crisis.

As I mentioned earlier I have been berated by mn's in the past for going down this route, but if it helps I'm happy to take the critism again, (eeek).

I went to see a health visitor that specialised in sleep problems when my dd was 8 mths. I'd broken down in tears at a breastfeeding group and the health visitor there referred me. Might be worth seeing if there's similar help in your area?

I had to write a diary of dd's sleep pattern and was advised to try . . (says in whisper in hope of avoiding the wrath) controlled crying.

Yes it was horrid, yes it was a week of hell, and yes it did work!

I was told to see it less as leaving your child to cry, (which is only a max of 15min at a time) and more traching them the valuable skill of settling themselves to sllep, at bedtime and when they wake in the night.

I was much happier after it and therefore so was my dd .

Not sure how easy it would be with a 3 yr old though .

Good luck.

Sorry about typos, 2 dcs sat on my head!

gecko is fed to sleep/laid with to go to sleep and she wakes every two to three hours
she is 2.3

good luck and

WE had a bad time with dd3, she had undiagnosed silent reflux as a baby and never slept through the night from then on. It actually got worse as she got older. When she was 3 she regularly got up 3/4 times per night most nights to ask if it was morning time (she doesn't need much sleep for her age still)

We went to a cranial osteopath and it dramatically improved after 1 tretment and it stopped after the 2nd.

However our dd had no problems going to sleep by herself - do you always lay with your dd1 as she goes to sleep? In which case she's always going to need you there as it's her sleep association/prop.

Would you be better off giving her a mattress in your bedroom?

I stood outside dd (2) bedroom and door and everytime she got out of bed said no bedtime, time for sleep'
no eye contact just keep putting back to bed
eventually they get so bored they get the message in the end
then in the morning loads of praise and stickers for being a big girl and staying in her big girl's bed all night