13 week old feeds every 3 hours at night but goes longer during day??....

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Please help. Any suggestions?
My DS is BF except for one bottle of formula at night.
He wakes up every 3 hours through the night (almost to the second!), whether he's just been BF or FF.

This is actually a lot better than a few weeks ago, when it was every 1.5-2 hours (hence why bottle was introduced: it gave me one block of sleep of more than 45 mins cos DH feeds him)

But during the day, he often goes 3.5-4 hours between feeds. In fact I've just had to wake him up, or he'd have gone beyond the 4 hour mark (and would've napped for over 2 hours).

I've tried shushing him when he wakes and cries at night (which works well at other times) but he just gets hysterical until i feed him. I'm reluctant to do anything that involves him crying, even for a short time.

Should I just get on with it, and let it sort itself out?

He's not a huge baby (hugs the 25th percentile so around 12lb now) but is putting weight on ok.

Sometimes I just accept that's how he is, but sometimes it's hard to do that in the small hours!!

has he got his day and night confused? I know that can happen, someone will come on with a suggestion of how to sort it out.

try reading this: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/694923-4-week-old-DS-sleeps-all-day-and-awake-all

Sorry, perfectly normal for a 13 week old to need to feed 3 hourly at night. A few weeks ago when he was waking so often it was a growth spurt. You can expect another at 4 months and a huge one at 6 months (sometimes this one lasts an entire month!). They need the milk at night at this age unless they of their own sleep longer. Far too early to be sleep training/withholding milk at night.

Thanks for the replies

sorry for not answering sooner

Yes, I thought you might tell me it was normal, and I guess that's actually kind of what I wanted to hear!
That was my instinct, which is why I have always fed him. The most I've done is to shush in his ear a couple of times, cos I know that usually that works instantly at other times.

There are, I guess, 3 things going on here that prompted me to write.

The first is that, much as I never resent DS for it (he's only a baby!!), it IS tough getting up so often in the nighht.

The second is that all my friends who had babies at the same time have babies that sleep through (yes really.....)

The third is that people keep asking me ALL THE TIME if he's sleeping "better" yet, and suggesting "things to try". I just get tired of justifying it, feel a bit inadequate, and am worried I'm doing something wrong.

I know he's hungry and will sort himself out as he wants to, or at least that's what I expected/ hope, so I haven't given him water or left him to cry etc.

I just wondered if there was a way of encouraging him to do the longer sleep/time between feeds at night, rather than the middle of the day.

But I guess it sounds like I should just carry on as I am then? After all, "on demand" does mean "on demand", doesn't it?

In reply to your last line the answer is "yes, it does" .

Don't shoot me but have you tried co-sleeping? When you say it's tough getting up so often in the night, co-sleeping can mean you don't get up. And if he's having one FF maybe your DH could do that one?

thanks

argh!! sorry. first baby.... and I listen too much to mother/mother in law etc etc

Apparently by this time I was sleeping 7 til 5am.... thanks mum!!

No... no need to shoot you! I tend to bring him into bed by about 3am/5am anyway (depending on how yukky I'm feeling).

I used to co-sleep all night, but I just got even LESS sleep then cos I couldn't sleep through all his fidgeting and stuff......

And DH does tend to do the FF, although he's away quite a lot, and sometimes I just do it anyway. But, yes, that definitely makes things easier if he does do it. Also, I am very lucky in the respect that, once fed, DS settles very easily (hopefully not speaking too soon here!!). We haven't had any 2 hour screaming sessions at 2am (so far!).

I guess it's just this nagging voice telling me I'm doing something wrong, not helped by other people's experiences/expectations.

But, as DH reminded me this morning, he's a gorgeous baby!! He just wakes up alot!

Guess I should just stop moaning!!!

Could you get him feeding 3-hourly during the day instead in the hope he switches to 4-hourly at night? So he gets the same number of feeds and you arereassured he is getting what he needs but you might get a bit more rest at night between feeds?

If I were in your shoes I'd be waking him for feeds at least every 3 hours during the day, if not every 2.5 hours. My DD is 12 weeks too and goes 2.5 to 3 hours between feeds during the day, if she doesn't ask for it I offer it and she takes it (she's breast fed too). This way she gets what she needs during the day and can go a longer spell at night. I really feel for you, you must be exhausted!

If it makes you feel any better, dd2 (21wks) is doing exactly the same, which is good compared to the last 2 weeks which were every 1.5 hours .

She's down at 6-7pm and sleeps till about 7am so doesn't have her day/night mixed up as she literally feeds and goes back to sleep. She does seem to feed better/more hungrily during the night though.

No advice from me, I'm just going to stick with it. I tried the 10pm formula bottle but it just makes her really sick and I can't be bothered to express.

Thanks
I DID try this, but the number of feeds during the day seems to have no effect on what he does at night. It just leaves me even more exhausted, cos I'm feeding him more during the day, then still really often at night.

So then I went back to just letting him go longer if he did it naturally. To be fair, he only seems to go that long between feeds once. The rest of the time it's bang on 3-hourly anyway.

I do understand what ches is saying. I really don't want to starve my baby if that's what he needs.

But I do wonder if something else is going on too.
For example, last night he woke 2-hourly (OUCHH!!) (1am, 3am, 5am) and the 1am feed was 6oz of formula??!!..... How could he be hungry?....

Nothing was any different during the day. He had no more/less feeds than usual.

I obviously will do whatever is best for DS, and if he needs to be fed, he needs to be fed, I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions for gently encouraging him to take less of these at night

Am trying not to be selfish, but am also trying to protect sanity!

Oh well... guess I just carry on going with it for now....

thanks weepootle. cross-posted!!

yep, that sounds exactly the same.

I think he kniows it's night time. Just prefers feeding then, maybe....

God! You must be exhausted!!

Hmmmm.... guess it does make me feel a bit better to know I'm not the only one, but at the same time, am hoping you get some sleep soon....

I was never able to persuade my DS2 to feed more often than he wanted to during the day. He just used to vom it straight back up. It's worth a try again at another stage but it doesn't work for all of them.