So those of you who 7pm, baby in cot, "night night"... what happens next?

[Umlellala]

Iirc when dd was this age (9mths), I would settle her to sleep (milk, songs, bit of rocking, lie her down with dummy) and then waited til she was nearly asleep but then left while she was just awake. Now ds will just get up. ON his hands and knees, try to pull to standing. He is getting slightly better. BUt I tried to leave him in his cot (he was sleepy) and he was just standing at the side, sobbing for me for AGES.

Do they eventually give up waiting for you? And lie down of their own accord? (He spends five minutes standing at the stairgate happily waiting for dh to come out of the shower in the morning)

Am trying to work out some sort of plan, given that ds doesn't seem to want to feed to sleep anymore and is too heavy to rock . Don't like the term 'controlled crying' (yeuch, am trying to teach something positive not just control the crying ffs) but think a bit of crying wil be involved (have had lots of crying today and I didn't even mean it ). BUt I just can't get my head round how my tiny baby will 'get' how to lie down and wait to drift off to sleep. Must be missing something. PLus I like co-sleeping, and can't be arsed to put him in his cot. Bah. Am now just babbling. Any comments/suggestions welcome (but be gentle, am feeling rather useless as a mother sensitive today).

I don't like the term 'controlled crying' either, but that is what I used successfully for both DSs. Mind you they have never actually cried themselves to sleep. Routine ie. bath, milk and cuddles with lights low indicated time for bed. When they were much younger, around 4-6 months I would do this routine but would always bring them out and downstairs if they started to cry a lot. A despairing baby and mother does not work.

I wish I could tell you how it worked but I did this every night and as long as I checked and patted them, they stayed longer and it went from there.

DS2 is now 14 months old. Hs goes to bed at 6pm and sings and tries his new sounds and words until about 6.30pm when he goes to sleep.

umlellala.

Don't have any advice.
But I'm with you....
My 9mo has just gone into his cot and I am hoping to get some sleep. At mo I feed him in my bed and then when he is asleep I put him in his cot.
I can't see what the huge deal is with the baby putting themselves to sleep. Why not just stay until they are asleep. I have a 7yo and either me or DH often lie with her until she is sleeping. It's a comforting thing to do and we all enjoy it.

Not a major fan of CC.

Co-sleeping is lovely and some times you just have got to do what you've got to do.

I am rambling too now........

With dd we stayed until she was asleep right next to her, and then after a couple of nights sat further away, etc etc. Took a couple of weeks, but was gentle, crying free and nice for all concerned - gradual withdrawal, basically. More labour intensive than cc, but not at all traumatic.

Thank you both .
I was just checking in before I go to bed myself (next to ds in our bed - dd has told me she is going to sleep 'all night in her bed tonight'. she might. i'll miss her if she does. ) and your messages have helped.

We mostly stay next to dd (3yrs) too. She is ok if we can't for any reason. So, I do know really it's ok. I know it is just time and learning and experimenting til you find what works (FWIW tonight I rocked him til he was asleep - he went to bed at 6.15 and is still asleep, in a different position... am jinxing now I'm sure...)

Here's to a good night

I don't get the cosleeping and waiting until baby is actually asleep before leaving. Don't you and your partners want time together in the evenings? A real sense of when is time for the children to accept that mum and dad need their time too? Are you not simply instilling dependency for your sakes?

I know that come 6pm DS2 is snuggled in bed and chilling out with a song or two that I love to listen to while cuddling DS1 on the sofa before his bath and bed. 7.15pm until the morning is then OUR time ( unless, touch wood, there are illnesses)

My DD often starts to scream in total utter outrage that I have put her down to bed but I give her a back rub, say goodnight and leave. After a couple of minutes she is totally asleep.

However, she is 13 months and started doing this of her own accord at about 8 months and I think all children eventually do it. Equally I remember that putting her to bed prior to this time was hideous, sometimes an hour of cuddles, songs, gentle lowering into cot etc.

'7.15 till the morning' is not the norm for all children though. unless your idea of morning is 3am.

If you like co-sleeping, then co-sleep!

Sorry fishie. I just gave a view of our homelife but didn't pause to think that it may not particularly match others. Maybe I have lucked out again on the sleep front ( touches wood madly as DS2 has conjunctivitis and have just cleaned his eyes in his sleep)

Well, usually dh lies on the floor and falls asleep chills out while dd goes to sleep, takes about ten mins after dd (she is 3) has her stories. If it is taking longer/we haven't had dinner/I need a cup of tea - we tell her and she is fine .

I normally feed ds to sleep after the dc bath, and has been pretty much clockwork til I got stressy about self settling recently, plus I think he is teething and not wanting to feed to sleep. Dh is at football tonight so I did both but was downstairs by 7. So plenty of evening - am well with you on that one, the dc have been in bed by 6.15 before now ! I leave ds in the bed until we go to bed (was trying to go to bed early tonight, whoops). He's only fallen out once or twice...

Ewe, we put dd in a bed at 15mths and she wwas lovely, asks to go to bed when tired etc. Has always been happy to go to bed (but just woken up a lot).

Thanks! Have a plan in mind. It's all good. Night, night.