21mo has totally forgotten how to go to sleep on his own...

[oysterpots]

He's been a pretty good sleeper in general, but we went on holiday last week (what fools!) and since then he won't settle for his nap or for bed. He isn't properly screaming but is warbling and grumbling and cries a bit, but it was 8.45pm by the time he went off last night, and tonight he's still grumbling now - I put him down about an hour and a quarter ago.

Today I put him down for his nap at 1pm as normal and by 2pm he was still not asleep so I put him in the car and he eventually went off about 20 minutes later for just over an hour.

I just worry that he's now in a cycle of being overtired, and the more tired he gets, the less able he is to go to sleep. Tonight I was really strict about his routine, started 15 minutes earlier than normal, quiet time before bed, stories, quick bath (which he hates now, used to love it - maybe overtired??), pyjamas, milk, story in the dark (no book), bed.

Don't really know what else to do! Can anyone help? It's really affecting me!

Have you tried cutting out his nap? DS is 23 months and he stopped napping about 2 months ago (unless he happens to fall asleep in the car). It has made him more tired at bedtime (obviously!) but he settles fine.

Teething? Ear infection?

My ds is doing this. We now have to sit in with him at bedtime and it can take well over an hour. We're now seeing what happens without the afternoon nap.

How are you getting on, littleboyblue? Took an hour to get DS to sleep this lunchtime, but he's off now, and has slept through the past two nights so things are improving a little.

I hate the way it makes me feel - so angry towards him

this happened to us too around the same age. it took a few weeks of persistence and long settlements, but then he went back to self settling (although now he seems to take a mountain of books and cars into his bed )

That's encouraging, audrey, thanks. I am hopeful we will return to self-settling soon!

What did you do to settle your ds in the meantime?

basically we did what we needed to, but still made sure he was in his bed, his room. quite often he would be happy if i sat near the door, and gradually i would retreat a bit further. i spent sometime with my foot in the door, so he could just see that.

after a while i figured i could just leave my shoe in the doorway so did that, and even though ds realised after a while that that was what was going on, he was okay wiht it and would ask for 'mummy's toes', just wanting to see my shoe.

my main aim was to do the minimum to settle him and work back towards self settlement, but it does take a bit of time and patience. i'm guessing it's some kind of developmental thing, fears developing or whatever. ds now won't let us shut his door while he's still awake, which started in the whole not going to bed period.

it's dreadful while it's here, but i reckon it will pass. and hopefully soon!

Hi oyster. Not too good really. I can't let him go ll day without a nap, he gets far too ratty and frustrated and then gets naughty so I end up telling him off which makes it worse...........
Dp sat in with him for over an hour today and an hour yesterday.
When I put ds1 to bed and he's rolling around like mad and talking to himself, I repeat to him that it's bedtime and he must go to sleep etc, he always settles quicker for me. Dp sits there with his eyes shut and doesn't say anything so I definitely think the constant reminding of what it is he's supposed to be doing helps!