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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

Sleep routine for a six-week old? IS there such a thing?

28 replies

LoisWilkerson · 28/04/2009 12:15

So dd3 is now six weeks old and her sleeping is becoming more and more problematic every day. As a result, there's no real routine in place.

It's the usual problem, she will sleep happily in my arms but not in the cot or moses basket. It's impossible to put her down awake and even putting her down fast asleep is becoming more difficult (usually wakes up within 10 / 20 minutes). She's fed, winded, swaddled and calmed until asleep. I then lay her in her cot. After a time, she'll wake up & I'll gently stroke her face and 'ssh' her until she (hopefully) drops off again. Sometimes this works but invariably she wakes up again shortly after.

At night she'll eventually go off anytime between 11 & 1am, absolutely exhausted. She's bf every 2 / 3 hours (or less if she's really unhappy).

The main problem is that her siblings are still very young and I can't have the youngest asleep on me all the time. I love the Baby Whisperer and although the 'ssh pat' technique calms her down, it does not keep her asleep in bed. Became that desperate this morning that, against all better judgement, I let her 'cry it out' - absolutely awful and never again. She hollered solid for 40 mins, I ended up in floods of tears (again) and felt like the worst mother in the world (again).

Should there really be a routine in place for a six week old? Do babies really sleep 16 hours a day at this age, as the books tell me? I'm so caught up in what the experts tell us we should be doing (3 hour routines, putting down awake, sleeping 1.5/2 hrs etc), I can't realx and enjoy this time with her at all and am in bits constantly.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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superdanovi · 28/04/2009 15:53

I know what you mean, the first 6-8 weeks with my little boy (now 16 weeks) were chaotic to say the least. Seems really obvious and don't want to patronise you but could she still be hungry? DS was constantly hungry, particulary at night and hunger was the one thing that prevented him from settling in his basket and/or staying asleep (despite seemingly endless feeds). In the end, almost continual feeding from 6pm-8pm (and epic burping) helped. Have you also tried a dummy? I was militantly anti-dummy at the beginning, but in the end realised that I had a sucky baby and caved. He has it to wind down before bedtime / nap but we pull it out before he falls asleep.
DS doesn't conform to any of the ideals in any of the 40 000 parenting books I've read, which was / is an endless source of anguish for me. Anyway, I just had to let him eat when hungry and sleep when tired and try not to obsess about timings too much. Eventually, a pattern (rather than a routine) slowly emerged and things are getting a bit better. Hope this helps a bit.

iwantitnow · 28/04/2009 16:00

My DS is 6 weeks old, have a toddler too - can't get him to sleep in his cot during the day either, 30mins max I manage, either pushchair on the pre-school run or sling on me (my back is killing me, I'm tiny and he is an enormous baby). He wakes every 2-3 (swometimes 1hr) hours at night and I feel like death too. I'm trying to enjoy my time thinking that this stage will pass again and I won't have to go through it again as its my last baby. You can't train them IMO at this age, their routines constantly change.

Try a sling, bouncy chair, I'm going to try and get a swing off ebay today.

I'm trying to get DS to fit into our routine, he really needs a nap this afternoon in the pushchair but DD doesn't want to go to the park in the rain or actually leave the house. It would be so easy if I had only one child I would just go for long walks.

AitchTwoOh · 28/04/2009 16:02

there is no such thing... can you use a sling? i found the dd1 barely noticed dd2 when she was in it, as she slept there within five mins of going in.

TheProvincialLady · 28/04/2009 16:03

Step away from the books and work with the baby you have. IMO routines at 6 weeks are only for those rare babies who do it naturally(like ds2).

If it was me I would wear her in a sling for a few weeks until she really does settle into a routine of her own. Then work on putting her down to sleep elsewhere.

When you have other children you can't spend hours doing things to babies like they suggest in the books...and you've tried letting her cry it out and that didn't work either. I would take the easy option for now. That is my philosophy anyway, I appreciate it won't work for everyone.

As for putting down awake - again, some babies do it naturally and some resist with all their will power! I have had one of each and IMO there is not a lot you can do with the latter until they are ready to do it in their own time. Bleedin experts

Original poster

LoisWilkerson · 28/04/2009 21:14

Thanks everyone. You're right - there's no point having the so-called experts dictate the rules as there are no rules at this age. Books be gone.

It's just so difficult trying to be upbeat for the other kids when the situation is just so soul-destroying & frustrating.

I didn't really get on too well with a sling previously but I might give it another go.

iwantitnow - I empathise with your situation as I'm in exactly the same boat - this is my last baby & we know it will get better but holy crap, it seems a long way off right now. Keep me posted how ds gets on.

OP posts:

ChairmumMiaow · 28/04/2009 21:18

The important thing is to have the right sling. The most comfortable one will probably be a stretchy wrap like a kari-me. I wore DS a lot in that until he got uncomfortable at about 18lbs or so. You can do pretty much anything in one of those (except hot things!)

I remember how hard it can be (and I only have one) and do feel for you, but agree that there's no chance of getting your baby into a routine unless they want to be in one.

Original poster

LoisWilkerson · 28/04/2009 21:33

I've just had a look at the Kari-Me wrap - it looks pretty complicated to tie. Is it easier than the diagrams suggest? Also, I worry about how secure these are, ie babies wriggling free or falling out.

Yes, I know. I'm a worrier. Humour me. I'm fragile right now...

OP posts:

TheProvincialLady · 28/04/2009 22:18

I have a moby sling which I have been using with DS2 since he was about a month old. It is lovely and a piece of cake to put on - even for me and I am a dolt. No way could a baby fall out. It's safer than holding them even. Mine cost £35. HTH.

AitchTwoOh · 28/04/2009 23:51

kari me is a DODDLE.

AitchTwoOh · 28/04/2009 23:54

it's identical to the moby, lol, having seen the vid.

EachPeachPearMum · 29/04/2009 06:34

We have a kari-me... its great, and it is dead easy to put on once you understand which way to tie it- there are videos on you tube I think, but the instructions are very good that come with it too. Good on your back too unlike baby carriers such as tomy etc. It goes up to 15kg so you may find your toddler begging for a turn- dd (3.2) begs dh to carry her in it whenever we go out as a family.

A 6 week old can't really have a sleep routine- they are too young. If they want to be held , a sling would be best.

If you want to try the putting down to sleep thing- could I suggest putting her down only 45 mins-1 hour after she has woken?
So when she wakes- feed, change, play/interact (if time!), then 1 hour after woken put her down to sleep. I find my ds (12 weeks) can only stay awake for very short amounts of time- needs lots of naps, but he is bright and happy when he's awake, so he obviously needs a lot of sleep. Having said that, I have always put him down to sleep after the first week- simply because dd's sleep was such an issue. On occasion he has needed rocking to sleep (ie because he was overtired) but very rarely tbh.

EachPeachPearMum · 29/04/2009 06:36

Oh and it may be worth trying a dummy... sorry, I know, I hate them, but ds actually loves it and it was better than the screaming when the colic came to visit....

iwantitnow · 29/04/2009 10:42

I've got a Karime and my 6 week old screams each time I try and put him in it. Just upgraded to Baby Bjorn active which doesn't kill my back so much, but I really need the weight on my hips I can't wait until I can use my Ergo sling again.

In desperation I bought a swing last night for daytime naps. If its raining I can't drag my toddler for a walk when he needs his nap.

Have resorted to co-sleeping most of the night even though I am worried of squashing the baby and never did it with my DD but DS loves it. He seems to be waking more because he misses me than being hungry at night

LoisW hope you are having a better time - its tough this stage. DS need to be awake 1.5-2hours before he gets tired but all babies are different.

TheProvincialLady · 29/04/2009 11:19

iwantitnow you can buy a newborn insert for an ergo for about £12. I had one for ds2 and whilst I prefer the moby wrap, if your ds won't sleep in yours you might find he is ok in the ergo.

Original poster

LoisWilkerson · 30/04/2009 22:32

OK - Moby Wrap now ordered & books binned!

Thanks all.

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 01/05/2009 21:15

VERY good decision.

ches · 02/05/2009 03:49

Also 6 weeks is classic growth spurt age. Does she make hungry faces with her fists to her mouth? Makes it easier to tell that the whinging is for food, even if it's only half an hour since they came off the boob.

dabbsy · 03/05/2009 18:02

I have 6 week old and was stressing trying to follow Gina Ford book. He is fed at 6pm then sleeps till 10pm feed, then sleeps till 2am feed, but then wakes after 2-3 hours any time between 4am and 5.30am looking like he is hungry again but not screaming. I do make him wait till 6 until he is fed because i worry about over feeding. I struggle to get him stay awake for more than 1 and a half hours in the day, but was worrying that too much day time sleep was what makes him wake too early!?

AitchTwoOh · 03/05/2009 22:03

let him sleep when and how much he wants, let him feed when and how much he wants, let him wake when and how much he wants. but then i am Not A Gina Fan.

ches · 04/05/2009 21:13

Demand does not lead to over-eating, it's trying to get your baby to eat set amounts at set times which does.

AitchTwoOh · 04/05/2009 23:04

exactly, ches. if you knew that the next time you felt hungry your feelings would be ignored you might reasonably try to cram as much food as possible in the next time it was offered. babies aren't stupid, they don't want to make themselves unhealthy, they just want to grow and be happy.

ches · 05/05/2009 04:42

well they don't really have the ability for that abstract thought as infants. however they do get used to their stomachs being over-full.

CapnScurvySeaWitch · 05/05/2009 05:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AitchTwoOh · 05/05/2009 10:31

only if you've forced them to, ches.

popsycal · 05/05/2009 10:36

no
ime

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