Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

DS and DD won't get out of our bed

7 replies

WinkyWinkola · 23/04/2009 20:30

They (DS is 4 and DD is 2) insist on sleeping in our bed every night from the off. If I put them in their bed and cot, they scream and yell and shout and bellow and generally go mad. I have to lie with them in my bed until one of them falls asleep. DH sleeps in DS's bed.

I really don't understand how things have come to this! I don't manage to start my evening stuff like cooking an evening meal for DH and me until 7.30pm.

I think DS is genuinely scared and DD just wants to be with me all the time. Ds's behaviour in the day has improved a lot (he used to be an absolute terror) and I think this is because he's sleeping better and feels more secure.

This is o.k. but we really need some childfree space. I relished getting into bed with a good book. And the rest. Ho hum.

Plus, there's another baby on the way in October and as big as our bed is, there just isn't room for all of us.

DH thinks the answer is to buy them cheap new twin beds from Ikea and put them in DS's room. He thinks the novelty will persuade them to stay in their own beds. We're having our house extended next year so we're loathe to spend money on redecorating etc when it's all going to change i.e. DS's bedroom will become a bathroom and DD's room will be an entirely new space.

How can I put them in their own beds when it seems to cause so much genuine panic and distress? Am I being a sucker?

Will they want to sleep in our bed forever? I do co sleep for the first year and don't mind them coming in later in the night if they wake up frightened or whatever but our bed or even our room is no longer our own.

Any tips or advice gratefully received!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
juuule · 23/04/2009 20:35

Let them both sleep in the same bed?

Let them fall asleep downstairs and then move them up to their beds?

SallyJayGorce · 23/04/2009 20:36

Why don't you leave them there and get into theirs?

We had this for a while and they now share a room. No. 3 is 13 months and she's about to move into the dorm too. It's like The Waltons. Not sure how we got over it - exhaustion has erased my mind. But we did. Think we had a few tough nights or reassurance and insistence combined but once they trusted we would still be there if they had bad dreams etc they relaxed. Still come in with us sometimes but had to make a stand, as you do, when number 3 was imminent.

Good luck

juuule · 23/04/2009 20:37

Oh and if you are saying that they are both asleep/settled in their beds by 7:30, I think that's not bad going at all.

Can't you prepare your evening meal earlier and all eat together?

SallyJayGorce · 23/04/2009 20:37

By the way - my first comment was a bit flippant. But I have actually done that several times. Not really a long term solution though.

compo · 23/04/2009 20:38

I'd go for your dp's suggestion
maybe redecorate the room in their fav cartoon character, get new duvet covers, make a huge deal of it, bribe them with whatever they like to sleep in there

WinkyWinkola · 23/04/2009 20:41

Thanks for replies.

DH is never home from work before 8pm. I'm disorganised and I should make a meal for all of us that DH can have when he gets home except he doesn't eat any carbs after 7pm. Sigh. So that's tricky but another thread.

I used to get them into their own bed/cot by 6.30pm and could leave them to nod off by themselves after stories. Then I could chip off and do all the other stuff that needed doing around the house. Now, I just lie there, getting annoyed that I'm stymied.

Perhaps we will go with the new beds, put them in DS's room side by side and I'll sit on a chair next to them both until they nod off. DS really seems to be scared though.

OP posts:
no1putsbabyinthecorner · 23/04/2009 20:44

I have dd 2.2 and ds 8mnth, Since ds was born I have always layed on our bed and read stories bf ds and dd has beaker of milk.
I then put him to bed and come back and lay with dd till she falls asleep
However it has been getting more and more difficult as ds gets nosey and wants to see dd, then she giggles at him and he giggles at her etc.. then they are both wide awake.
Tonght I have let both cry, done the rapid return with dd, and gone in checking on ds.

Tbh it really goes against the grain, all I want to do is pick up, cuddle, reassure. I had started this so felt I had to carry on till they were asleep. Ds not long, dd an hour.
Not sure if I can do it again tomorow night, but dont know how else to settle them both.
Like you thought they both used to settle and be in bed for 7ish, sorry Im not much help really am I

New posts on this thread. Refresh page