Routine vs 'Whatever the Baby wants he/she gets'?

[Chulita]

Just interested to hear what people think - I have a friend who had a routine from about 6 weeks and swore by it (mind you she had twins so it might have been easier that way), I find with DD we just drift along, sometimes managing quite well, othertimes we're both pulling our hair out.
I'd be interested to hear what other people do with sleeping/eating routines - please share...

we've always started with plan b and adjusted more routine into the scenario so that eventually you end up working with plan a. it's worked 3 times so far, so i'm sticking with it lol.

I reckon you'd have to have a routine with twins!

With DS1 we did whatever for 4 months and it was hideous. At 4 months he slotted into the same sleep patterns as GF advocates but without any aggro and everyone was happier.

We were hoping Ds2 would be the same, but he's a different baby. He's been fed and slept whenever which I've just about coped with for 8 months but it's recently started to send me off my head, so we've tried to nudge him into more of a routine. Not really working in the day but he is at least going down at 7pm for 12 hours. He does need feeding a few times but will essentially stay down. Makes me feel more human. But it's whatever works for you and your baby, and everyone's different. Personally I don't mind doing whatever for the first few months but after that I need a bit of space and time for me too, and having an established bedtime helps that, I think.

So difficult to work it out though, isn't it!

Very difficult to work out...sometimes you know they need sleep but they just won't close their eyes and then you feel so mean putting them in bed when all they want is a good 2 hour cuddle!!

I suppose you could call DD's bedtime a routine, I always have her in bed by 6pm cos she's ready for it and if it goes longer she's really ratty. But that's the only fixed point in our day. I'd like to have a bit more headspace but some days she's spot on with naps etc, other days she's a little pickle!

Do you let them whinge/cry when you know they need sleep and let them get on with it? Or do you go and pick them up? I can't always pick her up when she cries but I sometimes feel I might be missing her trying to tell me something. My mum said you can tell what they want by the sound of their cry but I must just not be in touch with DD enough cos I can't tell if she's just crying cos she wants to sleep but can't or crying cos she's hungry. I hate getting up in the night and trying to feed her and her not really being interested!!

Babies have very definite personalities. Some are much better on a schedule, others you couldn't force even a routine on if you tried.

agree ches.
It is sometimes claimed by routine queens (naming no names....) that every baby can be successfully brought to a routine.
dd1 was an anti-routine baby, so I just went with the flow, and we were both happy.

The only bit of routine i stuck to, is that dd was in bed by 7 after food, bath etc. The rest of it seemed to sort itself out. My friend was a massive routine type with her first too and was kind of evangelical about it, and i did try for the first 6 weeks, but it wasnt for me and my dd, and i just let her do her own thing, eat sleep when she liked and it worked out fine, sleeps through the night and eats well. I think different babies respond to different things.... As above friend found out when she had her second baby who was definately in anti routine camp, leading to regret at past routine smugness!

I started doing whatever as I found she was bf much more often than the 3/4 hours everyone bangs on about. I always started the day and ended the day with a bath though and after the evening bathj she's more or less down for the night. I think that routines do develop with a bit of a nudge from mum.