Help! Bedtime routine has become a farce since 10mth daughters illness

[Hammy01]

last week. She had a four day vomitting/exploding nappy bug that had her up all hours and sleeping lots in the day. That was swiftly followed by a cold which is now disappearing but unfortunately so has her bedtime routine!
I used to bf her to being almost asleep (I know, bad mummy) about 6.30pm, she'd go down till between 9-10pm and wake for a feed and then she'd wake again sometimes around 2am ish for a feed.
Now when I've fed her at 630 she starts screaming as soon as she goes in the cot and will only sleep if I hold her and this seems to be pretty much the case everytime she wakes in the night now for the last three nights.
About 3am this morning when she wouldn't settle again, I just felt like such a shit, out of control mum that I wanted to walk out the front door. I'm trying to hold down a fulltime job, care for my 2 yr old son as well as my 10month old and 5 yr old stepson at weekends.
I'm lucky my husband is very supportive and helps but he's also quick to point out that with the two older boys who were FF and had dummys, that we never had this sleep issue and its because shes bf and doesn't have a dummy.
Please if anyone can offer any advice I would be so grateful as I don't think I can take much more of this.

Thanks in advance x x

no, it's not because she's bf and doesn't have a dummy! it's because she's been sick and her routine is out.

i'd suggest that you not let her sleep too much during the day - try and get her naps back to what they were before the illness. try and get as far back into the routine as possible, but start from the morning. ie. if she used to get up at 7, get her up at 7 now and don't let her catch up her sleep if it's been a bad night.

sounds to me like she's getting a bit more sleep during the day than she needs, and doesn't want to go to sleep at night?

just guessing here...

Hi warthog

I've asked my mother-in-law not to let her sleep for long periods during the day now (she looks after the kids for me while I work) so hoping that may help.
I'm sticking to the same bedtimes etc, its just trying to get her to settle after waking or even settling at bedtime!
Did not want to try CC but thinking it may be the only thing but I hate listening to her screaming.
It didn't seem this hard with my son admittedly (sp?).
Husband has suggested dummy and giving up booby for FF as like I said before, 'It worked for the other two'.
Talk about making it feel like my fault!
Am tired, snappy and weepy..talking to my husband like poo so now he's understandably got the hump and I'm supposed to be working but at same time dreading what tonight will bring.
Any suggestions as to whether I should try CC or some other 'sleep training' method?
She's exhausted as are we all now and I'm clutching at straws
Thanks for advice tho warthog!

well, i'm afraid i feel very strongly against cc, but each to their own. i think cutting down daytime sleep will make a big difference, and sticking to some kind of routine during the day too.

you need to get your dh on board with supporting you. can you talk to him and explain how you feel and that you need him to help you?

it's tough, it really is. but hang in there and remind yourself that this time next week it will be better.

why not try a dummy? she might really like it and give you a bit of a break. buy a couple of different types and see if she likes any of them. worth a shot.

I know what you mean about CC... I know it works great for a lot of people but I don't want to go down that road. But then again, I remember saying I wanted a drug free labour and I ended up having absolutely everything
Going to try a dummy tonight and see if that helps.
Your right when u say 'this time next week it'll be better'...its just remembering that when ur rocking baby girl back to sleep for the fourth time that night!
I'm new to MN and have always read the links with interest, but after last night I had to join in as I'm at my wits end and felt that someone out there must've been in a similar situation or have some advice!

Thanks again x

yes, it helps to talk. just keep your resolve up. you're doing brilliantly well - you've got so much on your plate. hang in there!