My 8m son rarely sleeps longer than 45 mins at a time - what can I do?

[bohemianbint]

It's so predictable. I put him down for a nap in the day and he will only ever sleep for between 40-50 mins. I've just started putting him down at 7pm and keeping him in the dark for 12 hours, but he will literally sleep for a short period, after which we go in and spend about an hour (or more) getting him back to sleep for 45 mins, and then it's back to square 1.

The other night he did manage to go from 3-7am straight, but that's the only decent chunk he's had this week as far as I remember.

He will sleep for longer in a car, or maybe in the buggy but I can't always time that to co-incide and it wouldn't help at night anyway.

Any ideas how we can get him to push through this barrier?

Sorry no advice I'm afraid, just commiserations! Oddly my LO is happy to sleep for hours in the day but won't entertain the prospect of any real sleep without being cuddled/breastfed whenever she surfaces. Exhausting eh!

Doesn't help that everyone else I know with babies of the same age all have predictably uninterrupted nights full of sleep, weekends away, nights out etc!

Does your son cry out when he wakes up? I have been told this is a light sleep phase and some babies can drift off again no probs, it sounds like ours are struggling to get back to sleep themselves and need (almost constant) help.

Have you tried any 'sleep training' tactics? My GP suggested CC or something similar, seemed to work for a short time but is worse than before recently. Hope someone is more help than me soon!

I meant won't entertain any real sleep at night

thanks anna - it's rubbish eh? Yup, DS wakes up and will then have a proper strop lasting up to an hour and a half. I'm not sure if CC would make any odds even if I wanted to try it, I think he would probably just strop for that long by himself and I can't leave him so sad.

I'm just hoping that if we consistently put him down in the dark at 7pm he will eventually click. It's slooooow going though. And he's only napped for about an hour and a half today, after a night's sleep where he woks us up hourly. He must be nearly as sleep deprived as we are...

I feel for you. Just had another night when the longest stretch DS (9 months) managed was 2hrs. Don't think he's done anything longer for a couple of weeks, then it was only 3hrs once. I'm exhausted.

We're trying some sleep training to get him to settle himself. Last night when we put him down I sat by his cot for 1hr 15 shhing and patting and cuddling whilst he crawled around it like a caged animal, stood shaking the bars, then gave in and cried for the rest of the time. It was sooo hard.

Had to do it before at 6 months but it was much easier and faster when he wasn't mobile. Don't think I've ever seen him voluntarily lie down awake since he learnt to crawl.

We've got "Teach your child to sleep" and it seems to have lots of good ideas. Will let you know how it goes.

We all sleep in 30-45 min periods, after which we stir a bit, move about, and go back to sleep.

Your DS has to learn to put himself back to sleep.

Personally, I would say you should deal with this now as it will be harder later.

Does he still have night feeds?

I am just dealing with this myself. I decided to act as DS was like a robot during the day as he was so sleep-deprived.
Last night I put him down at 8 and he slept until 4. I fed him and he slept again until 6.30. So am quite happy.
Also I'll probably regret saying this as tonight might be horrible. I got there with some CC(which I was very reluctant to do before but I kept thinking of him when he's exhausted to remind myself that it was worth it). When he's really upset, I go to see him and pick him up and have a cuddle. If he doesn't stop crying, I go away again for 5 minutes, and start again. He's so much happier during the day as well. I hope it will carry on. Good luck!

As cote says, it is a natural sleep cycle, but he doesn't know how to self-settle. To teach him you have various options.

CC - I don't agree with, but many on here do & would give you tips.

Baby whisperer pick up/ put down

Gradual removal, etc.

The thing to remember is that right now your DS is overtired, so it will get worse before it gets better.

DD was 10 months & didn't sleep more than 45 mins. We used gradual removal over several weeks, and even now at 20 months, we literally take her to her cot, pop her in and say 'night night', and shut her door. She sleeps 2 hours in the day and 12-13 at night. If she wakes, rarely, we just have to go in, put a hand on her back and say night night, and she settles herself.

Lou031205 can you explain a little more about the removal option, my DD is 7 months and has a very typical sleep cycle - 30/40 mins.

Currently we are struggling with which way to go, CC or gradual removal. I understand the CC but not removal.

I used pick up/put down on my LO - up until 7 months he was up 10+ times a night, now at 9.5 months he regularly goes 7pm to 6am, with the odd waking when he has a cold/teething which is to be expected.

It did take a few weeks and the first night took me over an hour to get him to settle but the improvement was amazing. I just used to pick him up, shush him, hold him quite firmly so he couldn't writh around too much then when calm put him back. If he just grumbled we left him but as soon as he cried he'd pick up again.

I really sympathise, sleep deprivation is horrendous and I used to find it so hard to keep patient and calm at 4am when I'd hours broken sleep..... But it will get better, I never thought it would!!

I found the pick up put down worked for us as it meant we didn't leave him crying (I couldn't bring myself to do cc).

He still doesn't sleep longer than 45 minutes during the day though but I don't really care, the difference having an unbroken night is incredible!

Thanks JoandMax, might just have to start giving the pick up/put down a go. DD went down to sleep at 7pm and as normal stated crying about 7:45 and finally has just just gone back to sleep after much crying, milk, cuddling etc .

If she starts again we will see . . . it also doesn't help that I have a 3yr DD sleeping in the next room (thank god she has so far managed to sleep though everynight since my 2nd DD has been born).

Fingers crossed!!

Well it is now just gone 8am I am going to be waking up my DD after sleeping through . . . .for the first time since she was born, apart from waking at about 8ish last night that was it!!

Always wondered what a full nights sleep was like!

Perhaps this was a one off, hopefully not but long may it continue.

We shall see tonight . . .

I got round this problem by co-sleeping. IME, they sleep far better if you're next to them. The moment you get up in the morning though, they wake up, but at least you've had a peaceful night.
youngest dd is now 5, and very rarely hops into my bed. When she was 3, she got her own very special bed, as she was becoming a big girl...you get the idea.